Funny work stories

[myntik1]

Here's one of mine all time favorites.  I went from rapidly moving up the corporate chain to being labeled a joker literally overnight.

A couple of years ago I was in line for a good promotion.  In the previous 10 months I had received 2 spot bonuses as well as my normal yearly bonus.  Everything is rainbows, puppies and balloons.  On our intranet we have a classified board section that 7-9K people have access to.  In the past we've had people scalp XBox 360's and PS3's for a a grand.  We had a guy who posted ads for 5 different cars he was selling at the same time, which I'm sure is the equivalent to running a business from your cube. So the day before Thanksgiving I check the board to find that a department head in another area is selling a box of crayons for $100.  Obviously it's a joke.  So I write up an add to sell my college degree.  It went something like "since I no longer need my degree now that I have a job, here's your turn to reap the benefits.  Up for sale is that elusive B.A. in History you always wanted, but your parents made you get a degree in something useful. For 13,500/obo it can be yours.  I can also photoshop your picture into some of my spring break photos to complete the experience." 

I figure the worst case scenario is my boss telling me the joke is in bad taste and to remove the ad, which I was only going to post for one day.  Well my boss at the time wasn't amused.  Actually she brought hellfire and brimstone with her when she approached my desk.  When the dust settled she wrote me up for misuse of company resources (using the company computer to post the ad) and labeled it a behavior issue.  As a result of being on probation I was no longer a candidate for the promotion to senior training consultant as well catching the double 0 for the next year's bonus and raise. A bit harsh in my estimation, but I was on the receiving end of the career beating so I might be a little biased.  In the 4 yrs i was with the company I had gone from analyst, to specialist, to trainer, to training consultant.  I felt like I was the golden child. From that point on I had trouble moving up because during internal hr interviews I always had to disclose that I did have a write-up on file. "No, it's not for attendance or job performance, I had a behavior issue.  My golden glimmer started to fade.  Anyway,over the past 3 years I've collected about 2 dozen questionable/joke ads that the poster didn't catch the fallout that I had.  I don't think I'm going to make a return to this company, but I figure I have enough evidence of other cases to at least have the probation removed from my file during my exit interview.


Although the joke cost me a ton of cash and much grief I would do it again.  In a few years no one will remember 39632, but some will remember the mass communication that was sent out concerning acceptable use of the intranet prompted by the kid who tried to peddle his degree.

So if you have a funny work story post em.

[shardian]

I think being the "golden child" was why you got busted. Odds are there were others in the company waiting for you to slip up.

[whammoed]

At the job I had while in florida, there was a wildcat in the area that took to eating one or two of the stray cats that someone was feeding.  Someone posted flyers on the doors with a picture of a wildcat stating some kind of "BEWARE" message.  I thought it was comical that I should beware of such a tiny animal so on one of the flyers I drew a thought balloon above the picture of the wildcat with him thinking: "Kitties are yummy in my tummy".  The individual who posted the flyers was none too happy which made it even funnier to me.

[SirPeale]

Here's one of mine all time favorites.  I went from rapidly moving up the corporate chain to being labeled a joker literally overnight.

Dude, that has to be one of the most messed up stories I've ever heard.  In fact, I'm surprised you're not in JAIL for that kind of stunt.

I mean, seriously, what were you thinking?

If that's the kind of behavior you exhibit at work, what kind of human being are you?  Soulless freak.  See a shrink.  And a priest.

[SavannahLion]

Most of my "funny" work stories as of late can't be revealed to a NDA. Don't ask me why, I have no idea. 

I can share this one though. I got "Let go" for this one even though I really had nothing to do with it.

At one job, we had two different "classifications" of employees. We were tagged with Yellow (my class) and blue (the better class). The only major differences between the two, blue class usually had the option to transfer to a different department before getting fired. Yellow class was also under greater security scrutiny forcing us to go through two security checkpoints and a separate employee entrance even though both classes worked in the same areas.

Where we worked, there was a hot/cold water dispenser. One day someone painted the HOT/COLD knobs YELLOW and BLUE. The implication was pretty clear, yellow were to use the hot water dispenser and not the cold. Not realizing what the joke was or who did it, I mentioned it to a blue class employee... who happened to be African American.

She went ballistic. For weeks we were involved in an "investigation" to get to the bottom of who labeled the water cooler, sensitivity training, and all around wasted time. Eventually a group of about 25 employees were released from our duties, including myself who was "involved" in the incident. No blues were harmed in the incident.

Turns out a yellow class employee (who was NOT fired) was the one who did the joke as an example of the obviously painful disparity between the two employee classes.

[Jdurg]

Due to NDAs and confidentiality regarding where I work, I can't get into some of the good stories I have, but I do have one that I can tell that had me in tears.  Where I work, I am constantly in teleconferences and in many cases these are held in moderately size conference rooms where the audio comes in through large speakers in the ceiling.  So it sounds like the voice of god coming in when people are talking through the phone. 

So we have our team in the room and have dialed in to the meeting and we're going through everthing like we normally would.  All of a sudden, we hear this loud rumbling flatulence sound coming from the speakers above.  The ENTIRE conference room went silent until one person started to snicker.  Then we all suddenly lost it and couldn't continue on.  Over the speaker system we heard one of the people speak up and say "Oh my god.  I am so sorry.  I thought I had put it on mute.  Oh god!" We just had to stop the telecon because nobody could continue.   

[Zakk]

I think Peale wanted to buy that degree! 

[ark_ader]

I remember diverting all the calls to the tech support office (my little bit of hell) to my mates mobile number beause it was Christmas Eve and the main phones went dead.  My mobile was being upgraded and that took 7 days + the holidays.  I went for my dinner and...well it sounded like a good idea at the time. 

Having a phone fault like that in the USA would be easy to fix but at the time I was working for Fujitsu and it was located in the UK.

Now in the UK everyone goes on a 2 week holiday, especially the IT staff and one stupido (me usually) volunteers for the triple pay overtime to stay and watch over the servers.  Well without me knowing (naturally) my mate uses a joke message for his answering service featuring Roy Chubby Brown.  Vulgarity at its best.  All the top senior managers called in that night to check (bed check) who was around and got my mates voicemail.   

What was worse I could not go into the command system to route the calls back to my local extension, so the system was routed for about three days.  My mate was not happy as it locked his voicemail, but when we managed to get this voicemail reset all the managers responses was hilarious.   

I managed to record them all and posted them on the intranet as voice clips.  When business returned the chief bottom swatter wanted to know who routed the calls.  I owned up to it, and got a telling off, but was saved by the fact that their calls were recorded and could be used against them.

Stalemate.  Luckily my boss had a good sense of humor, but I got a lot of grief for it and tons of laughs from the technicians.  I made copies for the guys in the office too.

I still have some of them saved on some CDRs.  And get a good laugh out of them when played.

I did something similar when working as a contractor at British Telecom.  I keyed in the wrong number for X25 tech support after midnight, and routed the calls to a 0900 number instead of a 0800 number for a 3rd party company.  It went undetected for six weeks....

Ooops!

[SteveJ34]

I worked in a data processing service company years ago running a 24/7 data center with 3 shifts of operators.

Weekends we typically ran with a single man shift but still around the clock.

The guys working for me were basically college students with a couple of individuals who were not the best at getting to work on time.

I had one guy, Mickey, that was always late for Saturday a.m. shift and the guys that he was relieving from the night before grew tired of it.

I was in early on one of these days to check on a large project....once again, Mickey, was late. I let the graveyard guy go and took over till Mickey arrived. An hour after he was supposed to be there, he calls to indicate he is running late and was suprised that I am the one to answer the phone.

He apologizes and indicates that he is already on his way and should be there within 30 minutes.

An hour goes by and he comes strolling in with his normal grin with no care in the world toting a bag from the Whataburger with a nice hot breakfast inside.

I begin my reprimand for his tardiness (which he was used to hearing) indicating that I have been working his shift in place of why I am there. Further, not only is he running late, but he has taken further time out after already speaking with me to stop for breakfast.

The remaining conversation goes like this...

"What's in the bag" I ask.

"Two breakfast taquitos" he replies, taking them carefully out of the bag and setting them on a napkin in preparation for his little morning meal.

"Well, Mickey, there is a cost for being late today,  you know that, right?"

"Yes, Steve. What extra duty do I need to do?"

"No, no, Mickey, no extra duty or write up today."

<smile> ....he thinks he is off the hook.

"The cost for being late today is.....2 taquitos" as I promptly snatch up his breakfast, unwrap, and eat them.

Needless to say, he was in complete disbelief.

That was not the end of his tardiness but he continued to work for me for a number of years following until he graduated and moved on.

Did I make an impression? I doubt it....but the taste was memorable.

[billf]

Here's one of mine all time favorites.  I went from rapidly moving up the corporate chain to being labeled a joker literally overnight.

Dude, that has to be one of the most messed up stories I've ever heard.  In fact, I'm surprised you're not in JAIL for that kind of stunt.

I mean, seriously, what were you thinking?

If that's the kind of behavior you exhibit at work, what kind of human being are you?  Soulless freak.  See a shrink.  And a priest.

Wow, I'm hoping that's a bit of hyperbole there Peale.  My god, if your serious....nah, you can't be serious...JAIL.  C'mon!?!  And to call him a soulless freak and suggest he needs to see a shrink and/or a priest for playing a joke!   

[SirPeale]

Of course I'm serious.  Can't you tell?

Oh yeah...the Internet. 

Nah, I'm not serious.

[Jouster]

Of course I'm serious.  Can't you tell?

Oh yeah...the Internet. 

Nah, I'm not serious.

I don't know, I saw the <sarcasim> tag on the post.

Jouster