weak joke

[danny_galaga]

ive been helping a friend moderate his forums lately. HEAPS of spam. theres no sign up so its about 100/1 of spam to legit messages. anyway, one clown always puts a joke in front of his crap thinking that will get em through. it doesnt of course but this joke is so lame i had to share it here. his effort wasnt totally in vain (",):



Recently a guy in Paris nearly got away with stealing several paintings from the Louvre. However, after planning the crime, breaking in, evading security, getting out and escaping with the goods, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied:
 
-- (brace yourself) --
 
-- (this is going to hurt) --
 
"I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."

[danny_galaga]

another one:

An autopsy professor was giving an introductory lecture to a class of students. Standing over a corpse, he addressed the class. There are two things you need to make a career in medical forensics. First, you must have no fear. Having said that, he shoved his finger up the corpses anus and licked it. Now you must do the same, he told the class.
 
After a couple of minutes of uneasy silence, the class did as instructed.
 
Second, the professor continued, you must have an acute sense of observation. For instance, how many of you noticed that I put my middle finger up this mans anus, but licked my index finger!

[danny_galaga]

one more:

Husband and wife in bed together.
She feels his hand rubbing her shoulder.
She: "Oh, that feels good."
 
His hand moves to her breast.
She: "Gee, honey, that feels wonderful."
His hand moves to her leg.
She: "Oh, honey, don't stop."
But he stops.
She: "Why did you stop?"
 
He: "I found the remote.

[ChadTower]

As a Frog, that French joke was painful.   

[saint]

Do we ban people for bad puns? Should we? Can we?

ive been helping a friend moderate his forums lately. HEAPS of spam. theres no sign up so its about 100/1 of spam to legit messages. anyway, one clown always puts a joke in front of his crap thinking that will get em through. it doesnt of course but this joke is so lame i had to share it here. his effort wasnt totally in vain (",):



Recently a guy in Paris nearly got away with stealing several paintings from the Louvre. However, after planning the crime, breaking in, evading security, getting out and escaping with the goods, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied:
 
-- (brace yourself) --
 
-- (this is going to hurt) --
 
"I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."

[shardian]

well I thought the last two were pretty funny.