The First...

[FrizzleFried]

After 7 years of marriage my better half INSISTED I go see a doctor regarding my sperm count.  That appointment is on Friday...

...it looks like I won't be wankin' in a jar after all!

MY WIFE IS PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well...according to Dr. EPT... but it will be confirmed tomorrow!   I suppose I get to cancel Fridays appointment!  Woo Hoo!

Hope it's a boy...but it really doesn't matter....

WE'VE PRO-CREATED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


 

[btp2k2]

pray for a girl dude.

My buddy had a son about three months before my daughter was born....he told me horror stories....you see, with a girl when you change their diaper, the pee just comes out like a drinking fountain...when you change a diaper on a boy....it's more like a fire hose...and even at 3 months, they have excellent accuracy (think about getting a load of wizz in the face)

That said...Congrats dude! Good to hear you were up to the task (pun intended)

[grantspain]

well done frizzle,now you in for at least 18 years of grief

[shmokes]

Yeah, just wait until some punk wants to marry her.  Not only do you have to fake a smile and pretend you like the snotty little ---smurfing--- loser*, but you have to pay for everything.  Grooms parents pay for the florist bill.  Brides parents pay for everything else.




*I'm just practicing for the future when I want all of my daughter's boyfriends to be afraid of me.


edit:  Oh yeah, congratulations.  I hope he/she turns out to be a liberal.   

[am_monkee]

Congrats

Good thing you found out before you had to go to the bank and make a deposit 

[shardian]

Congrats on the pregnancy. However, the sperm bank thing was a little too much info dude.

Oh, and on baby girls peeing during a diaper change -  my wife found out first hand that they are quite capable of hitting targets when they are extra full.

Me personally, I'm batting .1000 with zero pee or poop hitting me. I attribute it to my superior diaper changing skillz.

[FrizzleFried]

pray for a girl dude.

My buddy had a son about three months before my daughter was born....he told me horror stories....you see, with a girl when you change their diaper, the pee just comes out like a drinking fountain...when you change a diaper on a boy....it's more like a fire hose...and even at 3 months, they have excellent accuracy (think about getting a load of wizz in the face)

That said...Congrats dude! Good to hear you were up to the task (pun intended)

That is what the FULL FACEMASK BELL HELMET is for!!

 

[FrizzleFried]

well done frizzle,now you in for at least 18 years of grief

Don't remind me,  damnit!

 

[FrizzleFried]

Yeah, just wait until some punk wants to marry her.  Not only do you have to fake a smile and pretend you like the snotty little ---smurfing--- loser*, but you have to pay for everything.  Grooms parents pay for the florist bill.  Brides parents pay for everything else.




*I'm just practicing for the future when I want all of my daughter's boyfriends to be afraid of me.


edit:  Oh yeah, congratulations.  I hope he/she turns out to be a liberal.   

That's why I want a boy!   I don't want to be jailed 15-16 years from now for smackin' around some little asshat for lookin' at my little girl wrong...

...and HE will be what HE is...likely an independent conservative!   Woo Hoo!

 

[FrizzleFried]

Congrats

Good thing you found out before you had to go to the bank and make a deposit 

Oh how I was looking forward to white walls,  test tubes,  and a hustler magazine.

 

[ChadTower]

*I'm just practicing for the future when I want all of my daughter's boyfriends to be afraid of me.

You need to gain 75lb of nonfat for that.  Doesn't matter how loud you are, you're not scaring some punk teenage boy at 135lb.  Weapons don't do much, either, teenagers think they're immortal.  You have to slap them around.  See Al Bundy for an example.

Frizzle, congrats, don't listen to some of the idiots here.  Boy or girl doesn't matter.  Just pray for health.

[FrizzleFried]

Frizzle, congrats, don't listen to some of the idiots here.  Boy or girl doesn't matter.  Just pray for health.

Thanks...and AMEN!

[Crax]

After 7 years of marriage my better half INSISTED I go see a doctor regarding my sperm count.  That appointment is on Friday...

MY WIFE IS PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hmm......maybe you should get that test still 

[horseboy]

pray for a girl dude.

My buddy had a son about three months before my daughter was born....he told me horror stories....you see, with a girl when you change their diaper, the pee just comes out like a drinking fountain...when you change a diaper on a boy....it's more like a fire hose...and even at 3 months, they have excellent accuracy (think about getting a load of wizz in the face)

That said...Congrats dude! Good to hear you were up to the task (pun intended)

Just wait until that girl is about 14 and you are beating little 130 lb hormone machines away with a stick. You will then realize that a few golden showers might not have been that big of deal.

FYI, I have a girl, and obviously I wouldn't change a thing. I am just dreading Junior High, though.   

[horseboy]

Oh yes, and of course congrat FrizzleFried. BTW, your arcade adventuring will take a nosedive in about 8 months, so do what you can now. 

[Chris G]

Congratulations, man!  So had you been trying for the whole 7 years???

[MustardTent]

Congrats.  Good luck on a healthy pregnancy for your wife and safe delivery of your baby.

[tetsu96]

Heh, nothing like knocking someone up to validate your manhood.   

Good for you, and good luck with it.

[FrizzleFried]

Congratulations, man!  So had you been trying for the whole 7 years???

Naw...only about a year of those 7...but the prior 6 included a lot of "test runs" to be sure!


And thanks!

[FrizzleFried]

Heh, nothing like knocking someone up to validate your manhood.   

Good for you, and good luck with it.

>ROAR<

 

[btp2k2]

That's what a shotgun is for.

I was telling my neighbor the other day about the security system I am putting in.....it's going to be easy to break out of a supermax prison than this house.

True story....my buddy showed up to his prom dates house to pick her up...her dad was cleaning his hunting rifle in the living room. Hunting season around here is in the fall...prom is in the spring....Ouch!

[shmokes]

 . . . don't listen to some of the idiots here.  Boy or girl doesn't matter.  Just pray for health.

I hate to speak for everyone here, Chad, but I suspect that nobody here honestly thinks it matters whether it's a boy or girl.  Nothin' to see here.  Just people having a good time after hearing the good news.

[ChadTower]

That's what a shotgun is for.

See, if you grow up in a place where guns are common, and not an OMG thing to see one in the open, that's not scary.  Everyone knows an otherwise reasonable guy isn't going to shoot anyone. 

Now, beating the crap out of you on the front lawn, that could happen.

[shardian]

Scmokes could always hire some bodybuilder guy to pretend to be him on date nights once he is a big time lawyer.

[ChadTower]

 

I could see that happening, and finding out 4 months later the standin knocked up his daughter.

[tommy]

So.... how much will the wife be selling all your "fun and enjoyable" stuff for now? 

[shmokes]

I'll take the enjoyable stuff, but screw fun.

[ChadTower]

It's the Mormon way.

[shmokes]

What does a Mormon girl do when she's at a party and finds out there's drugs and alcohol there . . . ?










. . . puts on her clothes and goes home.   








It really is funny, but you probably have to have lived in Utah to really appreciate it.

[FrizzleFried]

Being that I am 6'4" and about 280 lbs...I don't think I'll have difficulty scaring the ---steaming pile of meadow muffin--- out of a punk 15 year old...

...and I am KEEPIN my toys damnit!   That's why I bought them BEFORE I had kids...and paid them off...

...pipe dream?

I hope not!

[shmokes]

Don't worry about your toys.  The kid will change things a little, but you still get chances to play periodically . . .


 

[FrizzleFried]

Awe Schmokes...that is a great shot.  She's a cutie!

I look forward to being able to play with some cool kids toys...and I can' t wait for the day he/she will be tall enough to play some arcade games with me...

[shmokes]

Thanks.  Make sure you take lots of pictures.  I can't even really remember her being that small, she changes so damned fast.  She's probably only 4-5 months older in

[tommy]

Cute shmokes, great laugh. 

[gnateye]

pray for a girl dude.

My buddy had a son about three months before my daughter was born....he told me horror stories....you see, with a girl when you change their diaper, the pee just comes out like a drinking fountain...when you change a diaper on a boy....it's more like a fire hose...and even at 3 months, they have excellent accuracy (think about getting a load of wizz in the face)

That said...Congrats dude! Good to hear you were up to the task (pun intended)

for those that are new at this, when you change a boy diaper you put a new over the "stuff" right away or something to cover it in case that stream comes out, it will only happen once or twice before you learn your lesson. in my opinion boys are way easier, you know the equipment already and those dreaded teenage years dont invole you buying thong underwear and cellphones for your "little princess" im glad to have 2 boys


and for the record congrats! and we all hope its a healthy baby regardless of the sex.

[ChadTower]

My older son peed in his own eyes once during a diaper change.   He didn't like it.

[FrizzleFried]

Thanks.  Make sure you take lots of pictures.  I can't even really remember her being that small, she changes so damned fast.  She's probably only 4-5 months older in

Hehehe...I see that your daughter is quite amused with pink bunnies...

...I guess it's true that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree!

 

[shmokes]

Actually, she's completely uninterested.  Things like that can never be duplicated.  She'll laugh her ass off at it one day and the next day she just looks at you, thinking, "What, you're doing material?"