my christmas presents this year

[danny_galaga]

the idea of feeling compelled to buy christmas presents is anathema to me. i blame hollywood and charles dickens for making us feel guilty. geez, im not even christian why should I feel guilty. this year, im giving a gift that admittedly makes me feel better but will actually be appreciated (no one seems to like the undies and socks i buy them  0 . im donating some money to charity instead. i think the salvation army and the smith family (australian charity) will help some less fortunates have a slightly less crappy holiday experience.

[Harry Potter]

You cheap bastard. I expect at least a bottle of Johnny Gold for that router. 

[ChadTower]

I did that one year.  I made donations to various charities in the names of anyone I would have normally given an Xmas gift.  I actually spent more money doing that then I would have on their gifts.  It didn't take long before I became aware that most of the people were calling me a cheap bastard and questioning the authenticity of the receipts I gave them.  I think it was about 9pm on the 25th.

[Harry Potter]

A bunch of people I'm friends with decided a couple of years ago only to buy presents for each others kids.

One of them told me that there's no point for the adults buying each other stuff when they already buy insane amounts of crap throughout the year. And the kids enjoy the whole present giving thing much more anyway.

[shardian]

Me and the wife did a few of the operation christmas child shoeboxes this year. They are fun to do, and somewhat cheap so you can afford to do more than one.

[sphetr2]

I did that one year.  I made donations to various charities in the names of anyone I would have normally given an Xmas gift.  I actually spent more money doing that then I would have on their gifts.  It didn't take long before I became aware that most of the people were calling me a cheap bastard and questioning the authenticity of the receipts I gave them.  I think it was about 9pm on the 25th.

Maybe they've seen that Seinfeld episode too many times...

'The Human Fund' -George

 

[boykster]

I did that one year.  I made donations to various charities in the names of anyone I would have normally given an Xmas gift.  I actually spent more money doing that then I would have on their gifts.  It didn't take long before I became aware that most of the people were calling me a cheap bastard and questioning the authenticity of the receipts I gave them.  I think it was about 9pm on the 25th.

That's what my wife and I did last year, and we're going to do it again this year.  Last year we donated $200 per family to the Katrina Relief fund managed by the red cross.  Not sure what charity we're going to contribute to this year.....

If ppl are so self-focused that they would doubt the validity or generousity of this type of gift, then so be it...

[ChadTower]

If ppl are so self-focused that they would doubt the validity or generousity of this type of gift, then so be it...

That's my opinion too.  My solution was to say "eff them all" and not buy anyone anything and still donate the cash I would have spent.  Sadly my wife thinks more of their opinions than I do (which is to say at all).  I'm still not entirely sure if they didn't like the concept or if they just believed I was lying to get out of paying for gifts.

[AlanS17]

My solution was to say "eff them all" and not buy anyone anything and still donate the cash I would have spent.

Maybe that's the key. People think you were just going to donate money anyways, and then conveniently decided that you spent too much money on donations so there wasn't any left for them.

I don't consider myself greedy or self-centered, but I'd rather get the gift than find out a donation was made in my name. If I'm going to make a donation, I can ALWAYS do it myself. I don't need anyone to do it for me.

And don't go taking that the wrong way. I like giving gifts (almost) as much as I like to receive them. I've donated gifts to orphans for the past two Christmases.

[boykster]

I don't consider myself greedy or self-centered, but I'd rather get the gift than find out a donation was made in my name. If I'm going to make a donation, I can ALWAYS do it myself. I don't need anyone to do it for me.

Sure you/they can ALWAYS do it yourself/themselves, but most people don't.  Rather than sending my already "spoiled with toys" neices and nephews one more toy that they will lose interest in my the new year, or my sister another token gift from Pier 1, why not send that money to better the life of someone in need?

 

[AlanS17]

Oh I'm not trying to discourage anyone from doing it. I say go for it.

This year, I'm the needy one, though. I started a new job this past Monday, but I spent the prior 6 months unemployed. I suppose you can guess what's on my Christmas list (besides the Wii).

[danny_galaga]

im not actually worried about what people think. it had crossed my mind that i could send friends a copy of the receipt or something but thats not actually the point really. id just rather give something to people who really need it. im breaking the chain. i dont even buy any ---smurf-poo--- (st valentines day, fathers day, love day, etc) holiday cards...

[danny_galaga]

You cheap bastard. I expect at least a bottle of Johnny Gold for that router. 

wasn't the signed photo enough?

[jbox]

Oxfam has a lot of 'donation gifts' where you get an actual card to give people as proof. 

[Harry Potter]

You cheap bastard. I expect at least a bottle of Johnny Gold for that router. 

wasn't the signed photo enough?

I need booze to make it look sexy. 

[ClubNinja]

On the other side of the coin, I would much rather receive this kind of gift than an actual gift for me.  In general, I enjoy the Christmas season, but really really hate gift giving AND getting.  Other than getting goodies for the kids, I just don't see the point of adult gift-giving.  If I want something, I'll buy it.  If you want something, buy it yourself. 

My wife's family has this Christmas drawing that happens at each Thanksgiving.  The four siblings and their spouses (7 of us total) draw a name from the basket and that's the one person we buy for.  Her brother and his wife (and their three kids under 5) are struggling.  Her other brother is single and has few expenses.  Her sister is pretty much loaded.  And we're in the middle.  Personally, I get physically ill when I (or wifey, since I'm the only income) draws one of the "well off" people.  They really don't need a gift from us.  I also feel ill when one of the struggling couple draws me.  I would much rather they feed their kids than buy me something that I can just get myself if I really really need it. 

Sort of back on topic, the well-off sister got me last year.  She called and asked around to find out what I'd want.  The guideline she put down is that she didn't want to shop for something.  How holiday-spirit of her!  So finally it was agreed that I'd get an EB Games gift card.  Fine.  Christmas rolls around and I get a gift card for a department store.  Um.  Yay?  I would've LOVED getting a card that said "starving kids thank you for your donation" instead.

[ChadTower]

Oxfam has a lot of 'donation gifts' where you get an actual card to give people as proof. 

I didn't use Oxfam, but that's what I did.  Pretty much any real (tax exempt) charity can give you a nice little card with the name of the person on it.  Or at the least they give you a receipt as required by tax exemption laws that you can stick in your own card.  The reason I gave out the receipts wasn't to prove I made the donation but to give the tax deduction to the recipient.  Making a donation in someone's name allows them to deduct the donation on their taxes (if they itemize that year).  That is the point of making the donation in their name rather than your own.

Sadly, out of the 15 or so people I gave the receipts to, I don't think more than one of them understood the tax issue and how it works.  And that person was overheard saying "oh joy, $5 off my tax bill, that's a great gift".

So I leave 90% of the gift shopping to my wife now.  Rather than get the donation, she gets them stuff like the gift pack of Turkey and Gravy soda she got for one of them.    

[ClubNinja]

gift pack of Turkey and Gravy soda

The stuffing soda in those packages isn't that bad.  The others caused much vomit.

[ChadTower]

The pea soda makes me laugh.

I tried their egg nog... it was cream soda.  The sugar plum had no flavor.

[boykster]

On the other side of the coin, I would much rather receive this kind of gift than an actual gift for me.  In general, I enjoy the Christmas season, but really really hate gift giving AND getting.  Other than getting goodies for the kids, I just don't see the point of adult gift-giving.  If I want something, I'll buy it.  If you want something, buy it yourself. 

My wife's family has this Christmas drawing that happens at each Thanksgiving.  The four siblings and their spouses (7 of us total) draw a name from the basket and that's the one person we buy for.  Her brother and his wife (and their three kids under 5) are struggling.  Her other brother is single and has few expenses.  Her sister is pretty much loaded.  And we're in the middle.  Personally, I get physically ill when I (or wifey, since I'm the only income) draws one of the "well off" people.  They really don't need a gift from us.  I also feel ill when one of the struggling couple draws me.  I would much rather they feed their kids than buy me something that I can just get myself if I really really need it. 

Sort of back on topic, the well-off sister got me last year.  She called and asked around to find out what I'd want.  The guideline she put down is that she didn't want to shop for something.  How holiday-spirit of her!  So finally it was agreed that I'd get an EB Games gift card.  Fine.  Christmas rolls around and I get a gift card for a department store.  Um.  Yay?  I would've LOVED getting a card that said "starving kids thank you for your donation" instead.

I agree 100%.  I would rather receive a gift like this just as much as I like giving them.  Pretty much everyone in my family is fine financially (with the exception of my brother) and they have plenty of money to buy nice gifts for their children and for themselves.  I DO break my rule and send my brother's family token gifts for his kids in addition (not as a replacement for) the donation because i want them to have a nice holiday no matter what their fathers finances are that year.  I also want them to learn the value of charity to others, so we make it a point that the gift to others is their "real" gift, and the toy or other such is just an added bonus.  Oddly enough, thats the family that understands and appreciates the charity gifts WAY more than any of the other families.

 

[Dartful Dodger]

My solution was to say "eff them all" and not buy anyone anything and still donate the cash I would have spent.

That's what you did last year!
The only difference is you didn't want to dislocate your shoulder patting yourself on the back for it, so you hoped your family would do it for you.

You are the one doing the donating.  You are the one choosing the charity.  All they are getting is a tax break, if they choose to take it, because if it's under $1000 dollars it's not even worth the extra paper work.

Why not give them cash with a note saying donate this to the charity of your choice.  

..Because if you do that then they'll feel better about your gift, and the purpose of you donating in their behalf is because you want to feel better about the gift.


I asked my nephew what he wanted for Christmas this year.  He's only 5 but he has the heart of gold.  He said "I want cash so I can put it toward an iPod for my mom".  See that's what you should be doing, returning the gifts you get and give the money to charity. You're not going to though, because you're selfish.


By the way: I'm not going to give him cash.  Like Chad, I want to feel good about my gift, so he's getting a toy without a gift receipt.

[Glaine]

The charities told me not to bother since you all have things covered.
So I'm getting stuff for Christmas. Lots of stuff. 

[ChadTower]

You are the one doing the donating.  You are the one choosing the charity.  All they are getting is a tax break, if they choose to take it, because if it's under $1000 dollars it's not even worth the extra paper work.

That's right.  Because the statement is that they don't need another $15 toaster to sit on a shelf in the basement for 5 years.  I'd be perfectly fine with giving cash if I thought they would actually donate it rather than spend it on a 30 pack the next day.  Sure, that would be their right, but I would rather give to the charity.

All I expected in return was to not get called an ---uvula---.  That's not much to ask, IMO.

[Glaine]

...And not stuff like bargain bin neither, like gold. Yup. Good good stuff.

Speaking of, I've never shared my Lance Armstrong conspiracy with you all.
I believe that the only cure for cancer is the gold from trophies like the Tour De France. So each year he competed, everyone had to agree to let lance win so he could melt the trophies down and inject them into his spine to cure his cancer. Cuz nobody wants to be the jerk that killed Lance Armstrong.

[shardian]

You are the one doing the donating.  You are the one choosing the charity.  All they are getting is a tax break, if they choose to take it, because if it's under $1000 dollars it's not even worth the extra paper work.

That's right.  Because the statement is that they don't need another $15 toaster to sit on a shelf in the basement for 5 years.  I'd be perfectly fine with giving cash if I thought they would actually donate it rather than spend it on a 30 pack the next day.  Sure, that would be their right, but I would rather give to the charity.

All I expected in return was to not get called an ---uvula---.  That's not much to ask, IMO.

Hey, what's wrong with the person buying a 30 pack with their present?

I drew my sister-in-law for the family gift exchange. I'm getting her a Corona Light six-pack and a pack of Oreo Double stuff cookies.Hey, at least it is something she'll use and appreciate.

[Dartful Dodger]

I'm getting her a Corona Light six-pack and a pack of Oreo Double stuff cookies.

I've changed my mind.

A donation in someone's name now sounds like a good gift.

[shardian]

I'm getting her a Corona Light six-pack and a pack of Oreo Double stuff cookies.

I've changed my mind.

A donation in someone's name now sounds like a good gift.

 

[ChadTower]

Man, your brother ought to slap you for that.  Do your brother a favor, skip the oreos and buy her some 100 proof schnapps and tearaway underpants.

[shardian]

Man, your brother ought to slap you for that.  Do your brother a favor, skip the oreos and buy her some 100 proof schnapps and tearaway underpants.

Actually, it is my brother-in-laws wife. Is that still technically my sister-in-law? Or just my brother-in-laws wife? Oh well...who cares.

Anyways, the Schnapps would set me back more than the limit on the exchange.

[ChadTower]

Eh, make it a pocket bottle then.

I'm not sure if your brother in law's wife is your sister in law.  I have a couple of those too.  My assumption is that once you get past the initial inlaw it doesn't go further like cousins or circles of hell.

[Xam]

Me and the wife did a few of the operation christmas child shoeboxes this year. They are fun to do, and somewhat cheap so you can afford to do more than one.

This is the org my wife and I usually give to. Its a great org.

We usually collect the boxes and help load the trucks (my kids love doing this part) but we were out of town this year...we will be back next year.

Xam

[shardian]

Me and the wife did a few of the operation christmas child shoeboxes this year. They are fun to do, and somewhat cheap so you can afford to do more than one.

This is the org my wife and I usually give to. Its a great org.

We usually collect the boxes and help load the trucks (my kids love doing this part) but we were out of town this year...we will be back next year.

Xam

Have you ever received a letter from one of the kids? I think that would be really neat.