Should tools and lawn equipment go on a wedding registry?

[AlanS17]

Well I was stuck with my brother and his fiance on a 10 hour drive yesterday. The subject of wedding gift registries came up. A while back, my brother had mentioned wanting to put tools and lawn care stuff on the list, and she didn't have a problem. Now all of a sudden she does.

She kept saying he couldn't put on lawn care stuff because it wouldn't be a gift for the both of them since she would neer use it. But then she said stuff like cookware was for the both of them even though he would never use it.

One moment she's saying she doesn't want that stuff on the list because nobody wants to buy that as a wedding gift. The next moment she's saying she doesn't want it on the list because then if people buy all that stuff then she won't get what she wants (which totally negates the prior statement). Do you see where this is going? She wants the "pretty stuff" and he wants the "practical stuff".

Now I can conceed that you really don't need power tools, but you most definitely need hedge trimmers, weed eaters, and leaf blowers. However, she didn't leave much on the list that he actually wanted. All of "his and hers" gifts she picked were really "her" gifts. What do yall think?

[shardian]

Well you can put that stuff on the registry (I did), but odds are you won't get any of it. It is more meant for a house warming gift registry.

[AlanS17]

Well you can put that stuff on the registry (I did), but odds are you won't get any of it. It is more meant for a house warming gift registry.

Well the thing is that he already has a house that he's been living in for a couple of years. There's not much a house-warming to be had.

And if you ask for tools/lawn stuff and don't get them, then what's the problem?

[somunny]

She kept saying he couldn't put on lawn care stuff because it wouldn't be a gift for the both of them since she would neer use it. But then she said stuff like cookware was for the both of them even though he would never use it.

This is what I would call a RED FLAG.

[shardian]

Note: Wives only cook until the "fun" factor wears off - which is usually a year or less. 

[ChadTower]

Yep, warning, red flag, danger - she is going to be anti anything that isn't for or about her.

BTW, put anything you want on a registry.  Put hookers on it if you want.  No one is obligated to buy it just because you put it there.  In fact, odds are that if you put 70 useful items and 2 crystal bowls, you'll get 2 useful items and 35 crystal bowls.  People like to snicker about what they got you later on.

[shardian]

Alot of people don't even use the registry you make. It's like they feel they know better than you do as to what you want.

[CheffoJeffo]

She kept saying he couldn't put on lawn care stuff because it wouldn't be a gift for the both of them since she would neer use it. But then she said stuff like cookware was for the both of them even though he would never use it.

Hmmm ... I'm the one who does the cooking and my wife does the yardwork and I have no problem with making her lawn equipment the priority ... although I still think that one of RandyT's new spinners would make a lovely wedding gift!

Cheers

[AlanS17]

Well she's all excited about kitchen stuff. Cooking is her hobby the same way arcade machines are ours. In fact, she cooks a lot of stuff that doesn't even get eaten because she just wants to (but that's another story). So the "fun factor" won't be wearing off for her.

[ChadTower]

Ahhh, the naivete of the early relationship.   

[shardian]

Well she's all excited about kitchen stuff. Cooking is her hobby the same way arcade machines are ours. In fact, she cooks a lot of stuff that doesn't even get eaten because she just wants to (but that's another story). So the "fun factor" won't be wearing off for her.

Wow, that sounds familiar. 

[ChadTower]

Convnetional wisdom gives it about a year before she stops cooking for him... two and a half before she stops cooking for her friends... and 4 years before she starts cooking for other guys.   

[Dartful Dodger]

This may be one of those battles were even if he wins he loses.

In my family the wedding registry is for the crap woman bring to the bridal shower, so unless he's doing a couple bridal shower they aren't going to be lugging in heavy tools.


On the actual wedding day the gift is either cash or a useless thing someone bought without looking at the registry.

[AlanS17]

Well he does plan on having a couple shower, but I don't know those details. She'll be getting a seperate bridal shower just for herself that my mom is throwing for her. Those will be in addition to anything they get at the weedding. So I don't know how any of that works. I've never been married before.

I'll tell you one thing, though. The woman I marry will be cool with me putting that kind of stuff on my list. She won't care that I like video games, either. I'm not saying it's a deal-breaker if she doesn't, but chances are that if she's that nit-picky then I won't even be attracted to her, and we won't get to the whole marriage thing.

FYI, this girl my brother is marrying is jealous of his playstation. He plays maybe several hours a week at the most, but she freaks out the moment he picks up a controller. She would be perfectly content to let him watch TV all day, but they moment he turns that thing on, she just goes off. And out of the blue, there are chorse she be done, and he's just a bum. It even slipped from her mouth once that she was afraid he liked his playstation more than he liked her... and she was serious... but that's probably for another thread.

[ChadTower]

So it's the Playstation now... but really, that's just a symbol of how much he hates her.  Or at least that's how she sees it.  Soon enough it will be the dog, the car, the kids, or the pole he tied her to because she won't shut the eff up.

[jbox]

It even slipped from her mouth once that she was afraid he liked his playstation more than he liked her... and she was serious... but that's probably for another thread.

(i) ignores him when it doesn't affect her (the initial lie)
(ii) wont give ground on what she wants from the wedding
(iii) resents any source of fun he has
                     

Seriously, unless your brother has a masochist streak a mile wide, make sure you have a spare couch in about 18 months time. Bet you dollars for donuts that when they fight she breaks into tears and he has to go comfort her every time (been there, done that).   

[ChadTower]

Oh, he won't need the couch.  Before 18 months she'll have forced him to sever relationships with anyone close to him.  Given that he is close enough to his brother to have bought him a PS3 for Xmas, I'm guessing the chick has already started this process and has made it known that Alan is a major threat.  Probably not openly but they've had that fight at least once already.

[CheffoJeffo]

Boys, boys ... we're not projecting our own issues onto a relationship between a couple where our knowledge is restricted to a few choice lines on an Internet board, are we ?

 

Cheers

[shardian]

Boys, boys ... we're not projecting our own issues onto a relationship between a couple where our knowledge is restricted to a few choice lines on an Internet board, are we ?

 

Cheers

No, we are just extrapolating using the common knowledge we all share that women are all the same. Big difference.

Extrapolate:
  To use values you already have for a function in order to estimate values of the function outside the range of what you know already.
 Linear extrapolation is when we assume that the  values lie on a straight line, in order to make estimates.

We don't personally need to know anything about the future bride and groom to know how things will fall out. Now I wouldn't go as far as saying they are doomed. However, just want to make sure the guy upgrades his crap tank to the biggest he can get, because the man in a marriage has to take a bunch of female crap in order for peace to reign. 

[CheffoJeffo]

No, we are just extrapolating using the common knowledge we all share that women are all the same. Big difference.

Next you're going to tell me that there are folks in the EE crew that have dated more than one woman ...

 

Cheers

[ChadTower]

Dude's right, we have all dated one woman.

His mom.

[CheffoJeffo]

Dude's right, we have all dated one woman.

His mom.

Well, you see, that explains it then .... 

I suspect that you're lying, though, because my mom can fix hot water heaters and leaking pipes.   

Cheers

[ChadTower]

Why would you have such a specialist working on those pipes?   

[shardian]

Dude's right, we have all dated one woman.

His mom.

Well, you see, that explains it then .... 

I suspect that you're lying, though, because my mom can fix hot water heaters and leaking pipes.   

Cheers

Hey, back then Chad was living in his car, so she wouldn't have known about his plumbing inadequacies. 

[ChadTower]

Yeah, back then I wasn't leaking hot water, I was leaking brake fluid.   

[drunkatuw]

I got almost all my power tools from my wedding.  Here's a pictures of most of them...


(Doh, can't figure out how to link to the full sized picture from this thread.
Now that I'm finishing our basement, I use most of the tools on a daily basis and they are much more useful than the china we got.  We've used the china once in the first 18 months we've been married.  But our china is cheap stuff anyways, my wife said it's a waste of money to get expensive china that will just be stored 364 days a year.

I also noticed that typically the guys friends/family will buy stuff for the groom (tools, etc) and the girls friends/family buy stuff for the bride (cookware, towels, housewares, etc).

[AlanS17]

No, we are just extrapolating using the common knowledge we all share that women are all the same. Big difference.

Next you're going to tell me that there are folks in the EE crew that have dated more than one woman ...

 

Cheers

Not only do I date more than one woman, I've got dates with two different women just today alone (lunch and dinner). 

[ChadTower]

The nurses don't count.