Yeah I've been through about 3000 tutorials and I ended up with that screenshot above

Because I like to torture myself, I'm using DirectX9 with the beta version of MDX for .Net 2.0. The API is pretty close to what you'd get with C++ but OO. If I can wrap my head around this then I can be confident that I "understand 3D programming", so that's why I started with this setup.
Actually, I'm pretty close to understanding it. I just need practice and to fill in a few small gaps (obviously).
That screenshot above is the result of a TransformTextured quad with the h/w set to the dimensions of the bitmap (the blue area with yellow rectangle is actually a bitmap). For some reason it's coming out deformed and not to 1:1 scale. Since it's already transformed, no view, projection, or world transformations are applying to it so I don't understand why it's not coming out with the proper dimensions

There are a couple other small things that i don't quite understand yet, but if I can at least get something workkable I think it will just fall in line.
-Steve.