Love it....Post from a mate.......Quite Long

[Orclord]

Dear Internet:

Thank you. Thank you for all the things you gave to us, and thank you for all the things you're still giving to us.

Thank you for freedom of speech. For giving us places where we can express our opinions. Moreover, for having places were the stupidiest tard can express idiotic opinions, trolling boards as if they were their private playground. Thank you for ruining those places with bored fucktards with no life and with the only hobby of stirring up some controversy just because. Oh, and thank you for all those stubborn childs who can never, ever admit that they're wrong, contradicting themselves in threads with the length of a... Lengthy thread. Thank you for the huge egos which ruin the fun of hundreds of people just because they can.

Thank you for warez. So we can go to Google and find in seconds thousands of pages with the latest 0-dayz warez, and then spend hours fiddling with porn pop-ups, "vote here" windows, free-porn-sign-up for password checking, protected downloads, slow traffic, and all that, just to discover that all you got is a list of sites which might have the warez, but in fact are only sites with more lists and links. Thank you for still making possible that somehow, miracleously we find the warez, download them, and we go thru 3-nested compressions, password protected, just to find a non-working ISO which ruins four or five CD's, and a readme which basically states that the group which released this piece of ---steaming pile of meadow muffin--- thinks it's their ---steaming pile of meadow muffin--- and they're l33t while the rest of the groups aren't. And thank you for all those hypocrite torrent and eDonkey sites which say that they're doing nothing illegal. They really make us feel smarter.

And while we're on the subject, thank you for pop-ups. Thank you for all the ads we've been watching for years. Thank you for banners, annoying pop-ups, pop-unders, lengthy bandwidth-eating flash ads, misleading windows, false advertising, and specially thank you for perverting the word "free" in oh so many ways that it has lost all meaning. Thank you for ads which change the window size, which place links in *my* desktop, which asks for installing some ---smurfy--- plug-in which will destroy any hope of decent surfing.

Oh, and thank you very much for spam. Because I don't know how can I keep ---smurfing--- with my partner without trying some \/iagra or penis enlargement. I don't know how can I live without Cia11is or Xan ax. I don't know how can't I pass opportunities like earning a percent of millions of bisondollars from some african industry ministery, or putting money into yet-another pyramidal or trapezoidal system. I don't know how can I pass not buying expensive software for small prices, or perfect Rolex replicas, or not ---smurfing--- with the hottest cheating housewives hungry lolitas fistfucking cum spread for you tamales yo quiero taco bell.

Thank you for providing the ideal transport for viruses, worms, trojans, spyware, malware, fuckware, shitware, and you-thought-you-were-protected-but-now-you're----fouled up beyond all recognition----up-like-the-rest. Thank you for filling my inbox with the latest half-assed VBscript made with a quarter-brained hacker-wannabe kid which puts all your contacts into some spam list three or four times. And thank you so much for all the nobrainers who don't protect their computers and compromise the security of all the rest of us, because no matter what we do, they keep the diseases alive and kicking, waiting for us.

Thank you for keeping to standards. Thank you for developing and changing the standards in twisted ways, so any page maker has to check compatibility with 17 different browsers. Thank you for all those 30-some patches to the email standard which makes impossible to even call it standard anymore. Thank you for bringing us XML which is the final solution of all headaches, and brings its own mess and gigantic headache.

Thank you for cyber-sex. Didn't I mention it? Thank you for becoming the largest porn provider of all history. Oh hell, yes, thank you so much. Thank you for bringing us webcams, where losers can deceive girls and then post their private pics and videos (given in trust) everywhere. Thank you for low-cost porn dealers, which just recycle old stuff forever and only give you unlicensed crappy material, or in some cases, spit out some new but crappy material. Thank you for changing the meaning of the word "amateur" so it doesn't mean amateur anymore, but rather "non-syndicated hooker". I was going to thank you for changing the word "free", but I already did earlier. Thank you for the idiots who think that hiring a hooker, setting up a stupid plot, and producing a 60-minutes long boring video of idiotic playing is somehow "sexy". And special thanks for being the resource of and for all pedophilics and similar scum of the earth.

Thank you for all the misleading and false information placed all around. Thank you for google bombs, for those webpages of fanatics, terrorist, nazis and other beauties. Thank you for offering shelter to the worst side of humanity. Thank you for being a ---smurfing--- reflection of how ugly we are.

Thank you, Internet. Sincerely,

[RayB]

I couldn't read past the first line. Anyone who thinks "internet" is a person, isn't too bright.

 

[Dartful Dodger]

They have internet on computers now!

[Stingray]

On behalf of Post Purgatory, you're welcome.

-S

[Franco]

Aint Italie is it orc?