(Somebody has to do this..)
Personally, I like my stick to be pretty stiff when I play with it.
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Seriously, that's one of those subjective things, but a good new grommet ought to be pretty darn stiff compared to, say, a Happ Super. Even a worn-in one, if it hasn't started cracking yet, is at least as stiff as, and probably stiffer than a Super. Once they start cracking, though, they can get pretty darn loose, especially in the direction(s) they're cracked.
I like the stiffness of a good new grommet, but then I'm one of those guys that tries to move the whole cab by yanking on the stick. YMMV.