My Brother-In-Law is ???

[Stingray]

They have SILK curtains in the living room.  I've always wanted to wipe my arse with silk.  If possible I'll get a picture of it (a la the frosted you-know-whats) to post through the trap door.

Normally, I'm opposed to poo pics, but in this case, I'm willing to make an exception.

-S

[ChadTower]

"What happened to the curtain?"
"What?"
"There is a brown stain on the curtain"
"That sucks"
"What did you do?"
"with what?"
"the curtain"
"What curtain?"
"The one with the stain"
"your curtain is stained?  That sucks"
"did you stain the curtain"
"this curtain?"
"yes, this curtain"
"no"

[Stingray]

While you're at it, you might try slipping a dog turd under the floor mat in his mercedes.

-S

[ChadTower]

No way, put a fish in there.  Always a fish, fish stink harder longer.

[Stingray]

Excellent. Put it way under the seat where he won't see it.

-S

[ChadTower]

This is a DIY site, bro.

Put it IN the seat where even if he ever finds it he'll never be rid of it.

[Stingray]

This is a DIY site, bro.

Put it IN the seat where even if he ever finds it he'll never be rid of it.

If only we could harness your powers for good instead of evil.

-S

[ChadTower]

It is a common revenge in the Maritimes... someone pisses you off, you plant a mackerel in their car/house/wife.

[markrvp]

It is a common revenge in the Maritimes... someone pisses you off, you plant a mackerel in their car/house/wife.

In High School I dated a girl who someone evidently did that to.

[DrewKaree]

I nominate this thread for the title of "Best Thread Ever Without Cheesecake"

Oh, and see if his Mercedes is set up like BMW's with the battery under the rear seat.  If so, put it in the battery compartment.  Also, one up under the dashboard somewhere will get him smelling it sooner, and when he finds THAT one, he'll think he's found it, and the resulting stink from the one under the seat/in the battery compartment will just be assumed to be the lingering smell from the one he found, and will be allowed to fester longer, perhaps to the point of being unremoveable. 

For immediate satisfaction, if there's a Spencer's in your area, pick up a can of their fart spray, tape the spray button down and toss it in the back of the car.  Mebbe throw a dog turd in there too so he thinks his dogs did it.

I haven't worked out how you'll get the fart can out without subjecting yourself to the punishment, but I'm sure the supercomputer that is BYOAC will be able to solve that one pretty quickly.

Always glad to help the holidays be more enjoyable

[ChadTower]

Duh.  Why would he want fart in a can when he has a whole assload of fart on standby?

[Stingray]

I haven't worked out how you'll get the fart can out without subjecting yourself to the punishment, but I'm sure the supercomputer that is BYOAC will be able to solve that one pretty quickly.

I'll loan my painting respirator to whoever wants to be the lucky one to go in after that can.

-S

[ChadTower]

Real farts leave no traceable evidence.

[RetroJames]

It is a common revenge in the Maritimes... someone pisses you off, you plant a mackerel in their car/house/wife.

Toss it on the roof so it lands in the gutters. 

[nostrebor]

Duh.  Why would he want fart in a can when he has a whole assload of fart on standby?

Just have Duffjr send you a cheese burrito...

 You'll have to time it just right though. Careful planning is the key!

[ChadTower]

Forget planning.  Carpet bombing.

Or should we say Carpet Farting.  Gas based chemical weapons.  Aggression via methane.

Don't eff with me or I'll gas your people, then drop a bomb that will end your society as you know it.

[AtomSmasher]

I think you should put the fish inside his computer case, its warm enough to cause it to stink real bad and the case fans should do a good job distributing the smell.

[PetitMorte]

Actually, instead of fart-spray inside his car, go to a sporting goods store, and ask for a small bottle of "Deer Lure"  (Any hunters out here to back me up on this?)

Deer Lure is concentrated female deer in heat urine.  It comes in a small bottle, easily consealed, much like a bottle of visene, designed to conveniently spray this utterly foul-smelling fluid where you want it to go without getting it all over yourself or your hands.

I would recommend spraying it into the dashboard vents, so when the heater kicks in, the occupents get the full up-close-and-personal benefit of female deer pheremones.

With any luck, he'll come outside one morning and find five or six male deer all humping different parts of his car.

[markrvp]

With any luck, he'll come outside one morning and find five or six male deer all humping different parts of his car.

That's great.  That one may be the best.

[DrewKaree]

If we're gonna involve live animals, a skunk would be the best solution all the way around.  It'll let loose when Ass Hat lets the dogs in the car, stinking up the car, and causing him far more work and/or money having the stink removed from the dog.  Plus, how ya gonna tomato juice the inside of a Mercedes? 

See, BYOAC seems to be morphing into Build Your Own Asshat Computer.  We could extract revenge on so many levels regular non-BYOAC people haven't even DREAMED of!  We reek like havoc!

[Luxury]

Christmas really does bring out the best in people.

[DrewKaree]

Christmas really does bring out the best in people.

Actually, duffjr only needed a cheese burrito.  I don't think that was related to Christmas in any way at all

[Stingray]

We reek like havoc!

He smells bad, but I wouldn't say he reeks.

-S