Author Topic: Thread for posting funny jokes (Read 6665 times)

DrewKaree · « **Reply #40 on:** December 23, 2005, 03:25:49 am »

The sad thing is NONE of your replies are funny, even when you're trying to figure out how a suck-ass might respond.

My money is on MrC telling him he's funny, and him believing it.

duffjr · « **Reply #41 on:** December 23, 2005, 03:36:44 am »

lmfao. that last part was funny. i am laughing way too hard to think of anything unfunny to say. you got lucky.

markrvp · « **Reply #42 on:** December 23, 2005, 03:38:01 am »

Good night, boys. Let's play again tomorrow.

duffjr · « **Reply #43 on:** December 23, 2005, 03:41:50 am »

Quote from: markrvp on December 23, 2005, 02:38:29 am

Quote from: duffjr on December 23, 2005, 02:35:42 am
Quote from: markrvp on December 15, 2005, 12:08:31 pm
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lick-a-lotta-puss.

platypus is an extant mammal, not a dinosaur...

Good thing the joke wasn't about a platypus.

it's a shame i posted this a couple minutes before googling any dinosaur lists, and then i saw your reply right when i was deleting it. isn't there a 5-minute grace period to delete dumb posts?

but the post right after that still stands for the parallelism of the two dinosaur joke spellings.

and that third post meant to be edited into the second, but i stuck it in with the your mom joke.

DrewKaree · « **Reply #44 on:** December 23, 2005, 03:45:44 am »

I guess someone has to say it. Might as well be me.

duffjr · « **Reply #45 on:** December 23, 2005, 03:55:24 am »

as long as their seats and walls are covered with syrup too, i'm in.

duffjr · « **Reply #46 on:** December 23, 2005, 04:20:57 am »

who's the most popular person at a nudist colony?

the guy carrying two cups of coffee and a dozen donuts.

c64rulez · « **Reply #47 on:** December 23, 2005, 05:03:15 am »

This is not funny

Ed_McCarron · « **Reply #48 on:** December 23, 2005, 09:11:41 am »

A jew, a black man, a priest, and a rooster walk into a bar.

Bartender asks "What is this, a joke?"

--------

A man walks into a bar and says "ouch!"

--------

A Commodore 64 walks into a bar and orders a drink.

Bartender says "That'll be $2.00"

Computer says "But I've only got 8 bits!"

Ed_McCarron · « **Reply #49 on:** December 23, 2005, 09:27:26 am »

As I was walking to school one day, I decided to take a shortcut through the woods, even though I wasn't supposed to, and I saw two kids standing behind a tree talking about purple spaghetti.

I was curious, but needed to get to school, so off I went.

As I was sitting in class, my curiosity was starting to get the better of me, so I asked my friend:

"As I was walking to school today, I decided to take a shortcut through the woods, even though I wasn't supposed to, and I saw two kids standing behind a tree talking about purple spaghetti. Do you know any thing about purple spaghetti?"

My friend says "Purple spaghetti? You'd better ask the teacher."

So, I go up to the teacher, and ask:

"As I was walking to school one day, I decided to take a shortcut through the woods, even though I wasn't supposed to, and I saw two kids standing behind a tree talking about purple spaghetti. So, I asked a friend, and he told me to ask you. Do you know any thing about purple spaghetti?"

My teacher says "Purple spaghetti? You go to the principals office NOW!"

So, I go up to the principals office. He finally calls me in and asks what the problem is. So, I ask:

"As I was walking to school one day, I decided to take a shortcut through the woods, even though I wasn't supposed to, and I saw two kids standing behind a tree talking about purple spaghetti. I asked my friend, he told me to ask the teacher, teacher sent me to you. Do you know any thing about purple spaghetti?"

The principal says "Purple spaghetti? You'd better go home! We don't tolerate that here."

So, I walk home. Mom wants to know why I'm home early, so I start again:

"As I was walking to school one day, I decided to take a shortcut through the woods, even though I wasn't supposed to, and I saw two kids standing behind a tree talking about purple spaghetti. I asked a friend, he told me to ask the teacher, the teacher sent me to the principal, he sent me home. Do you know any thing about purple spaghetti?"

My mom says "Purple spaghetti? You go up to your room and wait for your father to get home!"

So, I go up to my room and wait. Dad finally comes home, and asks what the problem is:

"As I was walking to school one day, I decided to take a shortcut through the woods, even though I wasn't supposed to, and I saw two kids standing behind a tree talking about purple spaghetti. I asked a friend, he told me to ask the teacher, teacher sent me to the principal, principal sent me home to mom, mom sent me up here to wait for you. Do you know any thing about purple spaghetti?"

My dad says "Purple spaghetti? Out! Out! I don't want someone like you living under my roof!"

So, I wandered the streets for a while. Finally I joined the army. Things were starting to look up, when the old curiosity got the better of me. I went up to my CO and asked:

"As I was walking to school one day, I decided to take a shortcut through the woods, even though I wasn't supposed to, and I saw two kids standing behind a tree talking about purple spaghetti. I asked a friend, he told me to ask teacher, the teacher sent me to the principal, the principal sent me home to my mom, my mom sent me up to my room to wait for my dad, my dad kicked me out of the house. Do you know any thing about purple spaghetti?"

My CO says "Purple spaghetti? Dishonorable discharge for you! Theres no room for people like you in the army!"

So, its back to wandering the streets. After a week or so I stopped into a psychiatrists office to see if he could help.

"Whats the problem?" asked the doctor.

I recapped the story so far.

"As I was walking to school one day, I decided to take a shortcut through the woods, even though I wasn't supposed to, and I saw two kids standing behind a tree talking about purple spaghetti. I asked a friend, he told me to ask teacher, the teacher sent me to the principal, the principal sent me home to my mom, my mom sent me up to my room to wait for my dad, my dad kicked me out of the house, I joined the army and they discharged me. Do you know any thing about purple spaghetti?"

The shrink says "Sure, I can tell you everything you want to know about purple spaghetti. C'mon, lets go to the diner across the street and have a cup of coffee."

As we were crossing the street the psychiatrist got hit by a car and died.

That, my friends, is the worst joke in history. The only way to get over the sense of personal loss of the 5 minutes it took you to read - 5 minutes you will never get back - is to memorize it and do unto others.

I've personally managed to annoy hundreds with that joke. Whats funny is when I'm telling it to a new person, the 5 or 6 others standing around to hear me rattle it off again chime in at the "Even though I wasn't supposed to" part, like a deranged chorus, which REALLY confuses the jokee.

markrvp · « **Reply #50 on:** December 23, 2005, 09:50:41 am »

Oh jeez you're bored today.

Ed_McCarron · « **Reply #51 on:** December 23, 2005, 10:02:06 am »

Yup. That took longer to type than it takes to tell. On the other hand, noone tried to punch me for typing it.

ChadTower · « **Reply #52 on:** December 23, 2005, 10:18:15 am »

JackTucky · « **Reply #53 on:** December 23, 2005, 10:39:03 am »

Quote from: duffjr on December 23, 2005, 03:55:24 am

as long as their seats and walls are covered with syrup too, i'm in.

mrc will have to tell me duffjr is funny, other than that, I don't get his jokes.

Art

DrewKaree · « **Reply #54 on:** December 23, 2005, 04:02:09 pm »

Quote from: Ed_McCarron on December 23, 2005, 10:02:06 am

Yup. That took longer to type than it takes to tell. On the other hand, noone tried to punch me for typing it.

duffjr · « **Reply #55 on:** December 23, 2005, 04:58:11 pm »

Quote from: JackTucky on December 23, 2005, 10:39:03 am

Quote from: duffjr on December 23, 2005, 03:55:24 am
as long as their seats and walls are covered with syrup too, i'm in.

mrc will have to tell me duffjr is funny, other than that, I don't get his jokes.

Art

you ever eaten at ihop? otherwise, consider it an inside joke.

duffjr · « **Reply #56 on:** December 23, 2005, 05:07:08 pm »

old:

what's the diff between beernuts and deernuts?

beernuts are $1.99 and deernuts are always under a buck.

(now is your chance to make fun of my deer taxonomy.)

DrewKaree · « **Reply #57 on:** December 23, 2005, 05:16:07 pm »

Quote from: duffjr on December 23, 2005, 05:07:08 pm

(now is your chance to make fun of my deer taxonomy.)

duffjr · « **Reply #58 on:** December 23, 2005, 05:23:25 pm »

i said deer taxonomy, not the fact that i wrote deer taxonomy!

DrewKaree · « **Reply #59 on:** December 23, 2005, 05:29:33 pm »

Quote from: duffjr on December 23, 2005, 05:23:25 pm

i said deer taxonomy, not the fact that i wrote deer taxonomy!

duffjr · « **Reply #60 on:** December 23, 2005, 05:31:48 pm »

are you specifically setting me up for these posts?

"YOU'RE RETARDED."

DrewKaree · « **Reply #61 on:** December 23, 2005, 05:41:15 pm »

Quote from: duffjr on December 23, 2005, 05:31:48 pm

are you specifically setting me up for these posts?

"YOU'RE RETARDED."

Nah. I can't stop you from being you.

duffjr · « **Reply #62 on:** December 23, 2005, 05:47:59 pm »

my friend called me the robot for making up stuff. i can say anything stupid about everything. you've just seen the tip of the iceberg. it's time for a sanity ban. i am a forum virus, going from forum to forum saying stupid stuff until there is nothing left.

DrewKaree · « **Reply #63 on:** December 23, 2005, 05:52:07 pm »

I think you misunderestimate your powers of stupidity.

Buck up little camper, yooo kon doooo eeeeeeet!

duffjr · « **Reply #64 on:** December 23, 2005, 05:54:21 pm »

well, i did just learn how to pee outside the other day, so you may be right.

daywane · « **Reply #65 on:** December 24, 2005, 05:32:01 am »

short bus...

snicker snicker
I liked it.

Negativecreep0 · « **Reply #66 on:** December 24, 2005, 09:12:53 am »

Merry X-mas Muhauhauha

daywane · « **Reply #67 on:** December 25, 2005, 10:12:49 am »

that is SO.... wrong in so many ways

Harry Potter · « **Reply #68 on:** December 25, 2005, 11:47:46 am »

Yeah, a wild cat with a perm.

c64rulez · « **Reply #69 on:** December 25, 2005, 01:03:22 pm »

GREAT ONE

Once upon a time there was a magical frog who lived all by himself in a lake.
One day he ventured outside and the first creatures he saw were a bear and a rabbit.

The frog said "I am a magical frog, and since you are the first creatures I see, I'm going to grant each of you three wishes."

The bear said "I want every bear in the forest to be a female, except me", and so it was.
The rabbit said "I want a helmet".
The frog and bear were a bit surprised but the wish was granted.

The bear said "I wish that all bears on nearby forests to be females also", and so it was.
The rabbit said "I want a motorcycle"
The bear and frog were surprised, since the rabbit could have asked for money, and buy the bike, but the wish was granted

The bear said "I wish that all the bears in the world to be females except me.", and so it was.

The rabbit put on his helmet, climbed on the bike and said "I wish for the bear to be GAY", and sped away.

c64rulez · « **Reply #70 on:** December 26, 2005, 10:22:05 am »

danny_galaga · « **Reply #71 on:** December 27, 2005, 08:48:43 am »

Quote from: Negativecreep0 on December 24, 2005, 09:12:53 am

Merry X-mas Muhauhauha

that is way disturbing...

danny_galaga · « **Reply #72 on:** December 27, 2005, 08:54:44 am »

i know ive done this one before, but comedy gold is forever:

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Why the Gary Coleman t-shirt?".

Thankyou. You won't see me perform here again. Don't forget to feed the waitress or something...

MustardTent · « **Reply #73 on:** January 07, 2006, 10:54:15 am »

Manute Bull walks into a bar and says, "The highballs are on me."

MustardTent · « **Reply #74 on:** January 07, 2006, 10:56:38 am »

One day this guy is sitting at home when the doorbell rings. He goes to the door, and nobody is there.
The doorbell rings a second time, he checks, and nobody is there again.
A third time, and as he is checking outside the door, he notices a snail on the ground. He picks it up, and throws it as far as he can out of frustration.

Three years later, the doorbell rings, and he checks again. The snail is there again, and says, "What the hell was THAT all about?"

MustardTent · « **Reply #75 on:** January 07, 2006, 11:02:19 am »

One day, a gorilla in the jungle sees his enemy, the tiger. He decides to play a little trick on it.
So, he sneaks up behind it, and gives it a quick poke and starts running before the tiger knows what happened to him.
The tiger starts chasing the gorilla, and while the gorilla is running, he notices a guy on a safari. He kills him, and takes his clothes and other items. He puts on the clothes, and holds a newspaper in front of his face.

The tiger catches up to him, and asks, "Hey, have you seen a gorilla go by recently?"
The gorilla says from behind the paper, "You mean the one that banged the tiger in the ass?"
The tiger says, "Holy ---Cleveland steamer---! It's in the paper already?"


Main	Restorations	Software	Audio/Jukebox/MP3	Everything Else	Buy/Sell/Trade
Project Announcements	Monitor/Video	GroovyMAME	Merit/JVL Touchscreen	Meet Up	Retail Vendors
Driving & Racing	Woodworking	Software Support Forums	Consoles	Project Arcade	Reviews
Automated Projects	Artwork	Frontend Support Forums	Pinball	Forum Discussion	Old Boards
Raspberry Pi & Dev Board	controls.dat	Linux	Miscellaneous Arcade	Wiki Discussion	Old Archives
Lightguns	Arcade1Up	Try the site in https mode		Site News


Unread posts \| New Replies \| Recent posts \| Rules \| Chatroom \| Wiki \| File Repository \| RSS \| Submit news