Author Topic: My dog is an alcoholic cleptomaniac - Stingray's drunk post (Read 3437 times)

Stingray · « **on:** November 08, 2005, 06:33:46 pm »

So here I am, minding my own bidniss, having myself a few post-work frosty ones. I'm out on the porch, enjoying the nice peacful wilderness where I live, reach down for a drink. Beer not there. Oh no! BEER NOT THERE! I look off into the woods and see my beer...

The dog in the picture is lucky for two reasons.
1) I'm already pretty skuppered.
2) I have quite a lot more beer in the fridge.
I'll let her live.

-S

Bones · « **Reply #1 on:** November 08, 2005, 06:44:47 pm »

If you look really carefully you can see Stingray crying in the bottles reflection.

Ed_McCarron · « **Reply #2 on:** November 08, 2005, 07:03:47 pm »

Its almost like a running joke...

missioncontrol · « **Reply #3 on:** November 08, 2005, 11:40:09 pm »

a real dog wouldn't pass out after 1 beer

Stingray · « **Reply #4 on:** November 09, 2005, 08:31:12 am »

Quote from: Ed_McCarron on November 08, 2005, 07:03:47 pm

Its almost like a running joke...

Nice one!

MC- She was far from passed out. I wish I would have had a video camera. She was trying really hard to keep the open end of the bottle in her mouth. The bottle kept spinning away from her, and she kept scooting around on the ground after it. I just hope she managed to drink it instead of spilling it on the ground.

-S

missioncontrol · « **Reply #5 on:** November 09, 2005, 10:23:34 am »

well on that case "good dog"

Stingray · « **Reply #6 on:** November 09, 2005, 10:30:57 am »

She shoulda just asked for her own. I learned a valuable lesson about setting a beer down on the deck last night.

-S

missioncontrol · « **Reply #7 on:** November 09, 2005, 10:34:20 am »

your own fult never leave an opened beer laying around..

that's why you have two hands. one for the beer and the other to do whatever else needs to be done. and if it is a job that requires two hands then you call a buddy and have him bring more beer.

Stingray · « **Reply #8 on:** November 09, 2005, 10:37:39 am »

If only there were some kind of device that has a flat platform to set things on, and legs to elevate those things to an altitude that would be unreachable by canines. Some day technology will catch up to my vision.

-S

missioncontrol · « **Reply #9 on:** November 09, 2005, 10:39:03 am »

no that's just crazy talk there

ChadTower · « **Reply #10 on:** November 09, 2005, 10:47:38 am »

Put the beer in your beer pocket.

Duh.

missioncontrol · « **Reply #11 on:** November 09, 2005, 10:50:09 am »

Quote from: ChadTower on November 09, 2005, 10:47:38 am

Put the beer in your beer pocket.

but that's where I keep the second one so that I don't have to make another trip to the fridge

Stingray · « **Reply #12 on:** November 09, 2005, 10:51:25 am »

Quote

Put the beer in your beer pocket.

Brilliant!

-S

ChadTower · « **Reply #13 on:** November 09, 2005, 11:08:22 am »

Quote from: missioncontrol on November 09, 2005, 10:50:09 am

but that's where I keep the second one so that I don't have to make another trip to the fridge

The beer pocket is versatile. You use it differently than I do.

missioncontrol · « **Reply #14 on:** November 09, 2005, 11:13:09 am »

mine didn't come with instructions

Stingray · « **Reply #15 on:** November 09, 2005, 11:19:29 am »

Somebody start a BYO Beer Pocket thread. I'm too cheap to buy one.

-S

ChadTower · « **Reply #16 on:** November 09, 2005, 11:20:25 am »

If you need instructions on how to use your beer pocket then you do not need a beer pocket.

I buy pants with built in beer pockets. If your jeans do not have pockets big enough in which to store a beer bottle, you are wearing the wrong jeans.

Stingray · « **Reply #17 on:** November 09, 2005, 11:22:03 am »

And all this time I thought you were just glad to see me.

-S

missioncontrol · « **Reply #18 on:** November 09, 2005, 11:22:38 am »

I didn't say I didn't know how to use one I just said that mine didn't come with instructions so that is why I use my beer holder differently than you

ChadTower · « **Reply #19 on:** November 09, 2005, 11:23:53 am »

Quote from: missioncontrol on November 09, 2005, 11:22:38 am

I didn't say I didn't know how to use one I just said that mine didn't come with instructions so that is why I use my beer holder differently than you

But, you are not using it incorrectly. Different is not incorrect in this case.

missioncontrol · « **Reply #20 on:** November 09, 2005, 11:24:59 am »

I would think placing an open beer in the beer pocket and risking the chance of spilling it incorect usage

Stingray · « **Reply #21 on:** November 09, 2005, 11:30:17 am »

Probably for the best to put the beer in the pocket in it's full upright position.

-S

ChadTower · « **Reply #22 on:** November 09, 2005, 11:40:22 am »

Yes, once skilled, you can place an open beer bottle into the pocket and do most normal tasks without fear of spillage.

Of course, oftentimes, the action of last resort should be the action of first resort, which is to finish the beer before undertaking any task that requires putting the beer down. Then you can place an unopened beer into the beer pocket without risk of a spill.

missioncontrol · « **Reply #23 on:** November 09, 2005, 11:42:45 am »

I find it easier just to drink and avoid working

ChadTower · « **Reply #24 on:** November 09, 2005, 11:44:31 am »

I'm not talking about work. Sometimes, things require you to put your beer down.

Examples:

A woman has two boobs. This should require two hands.

Some sandwiches are large enough for two hands.

A wiffle bat is best used with two hands.

whammoed · « **Reply #25 on:** November 09, 2005, 11:47:18 am »

I said beer pocket, not meat pocket you jackass!

ChadTower · « **Reply #26 on:** November 09, 2005, 11:50:16 am »

It usually takes two hands to choke a guy.

Stingray · « **Reply #27 on:** November 09, 2005, 11:52:56 am »

It takes both hands to get your beer back from a drunk dog.

-S

ChadTower · « **Reply #28 on:** November 09, 2005, 11:54:15 am »

If the dog stole your beer, how hard is it to get a beer from a dead dog?

Stingray · « **Reply #29 on:** November 09, 2005, 11:58:10 am »

Is this a zombie dog, or just a regular dead dog?

-S

ChadTower · « **Reply #30 on:** November 09, 2005, 11:58:47 am »

It stole your beer.

It should be killed, reanimated, then killed again as an object lesson.

whammoed · « **Reply #31 on:** November 09, 2005, 11:59:39 am »

Quote from: Stingray on November 09, 2005, 11:58:10 am

Is this a zombie dog, or just a regular dead dog?

-S

Homosexual Zombie dog with rabies....and bad gas.

Stingray · « **Reply #32 on:** November 09, 2005, 12:01:01 pm »

Quote from: whammoed on November 09, 2005, 11:59:39 am

Homosexual Zombie dog ....

You forgot NTTAWWT.

-S

whammoed · « **Reply #33 on:** November 09, 2005, 12:08:45 pm »

Quote from: Stingray on November 09, 2005, 12:01:01 pm

Quote from: whammoed on November 09, 2005, 11:59:39 am

Homosexual Zombie dog ....

You forgot NTTAWWT.

-S

You think theres nothing wrong with zombie dog beer farts? Ich.

Stingray · « **Reply #34 on:** November 09, 2005, 12:12:59 pm »

Well, I'm pretty open minded.

-S

missioncontrol · « **Reply #35 on:** November 09, 2005, 12:59:25 pm »

Quote from: ChadTower on November 09, 2005, 11:44:31 am

A wiffle bat is best used with two hands.

isn't a wiffle bat made of plasic? couldn't you swing it with one hand

ChadTower · « **Reply #36 on:** November 09, 2005, 01:08:16 pm »

...best...used...

Luxury · « **Reply #37 on:** November 09, 2005, 01:32:05 pm »

Primitives.

ChadTower · « **Reply #38 on:** November 09, 2005, 01:33:34 pm »

Pfft, those are for people who simply can't do it right without help.

missioncontrol · « **Reply #39 on:** November 10, 2005, 01:34:50 am »

the only time you should set your beer down is right after you say "hey ya'll watch this"


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