is there anyone in the western world that would open this email?

[danny_galaga]

this is what i see in my bulk folder:


   Fred Bartlett PLEASE ACT A NEXT OF KIN TO LATE MR MARUFU! 


hmmm, should i open it? it might be old uncle marufu they are talking about. havent heard from him in years. now i know why? maybe he was loaded...

[Bones]

Open it. You would be stupid not to.

[Harry Potter]

I open it and reply to it. More fun when drunk.

[Grasshopper]

Heh, let me guess Uncle Marufu lived in Nigeria.

[missioncontrol]

and he died a horrible train crash

[Stingray]

and he died a horrible train crash

While being chased out of the country by rebel forces who knew that he was the last person to know the exact location of the royal treasure.

-S

[missioncontrol]

and all known relatives have died with him

[Stingray]

and all known relatives have died with him

Except for Danny of course, who is the last hope for recovering the treasure and is entitled to 15% if he will only help these poor unfortunates out.

-S

[missioncontrol]

and he needs to fax Danny some important documents

[Stingray]

He'll also need to have $10,000 wired to him to cover expenses, fees, bribes, beer, and hookers.

-S

[missioncontrol]

but he'll be rich in the end

[Stingray]

And that's all that really matters.

-S

[missioncontrol]

and Danny and his new found fortune lived happily ever after

[Ed_McCarron]

Wait, wasn't there something in there about winning a lottery you never entered?

[RayB]

I won the lottery in the UK.  I live in Canada.  I'm waiting for the cheque. Any day now.

[danny_galaga]

i was once going to give them the fax number of the darwin police headquarters and tell them my name was duncan donuts or something. might be worth creating a new email account for that (",)

[DrewKaree]

 might be worth creating a new email account for that (",)

Need a Gmail invite?   

Hey, forward it on to me.  I'll forward it to everyone on my mailing list and get back to you with the answer to your question

[AC.]

A few people still respond to that crap.  Makes me sad for us humans.
Damn Flanders.

[danny_galaga]

 might be worth creating a new email account for that (",)

Need a Gmail invite?

[danny_galaga]

ooh, ooh!! got one from 'nicole kiderman' !! now thats gotta be genuine- she musta seen my picture in the 'what do yall like like thread' and couldnt resist (",)

[AC.]

Here is the subject of an email I got today:

"Did you know 67% of women are not happy with you"

YES I DO KNOW THAT - but I knew it was spam since the percentage is much higher.

[missioncontrol]

I have three from paypal saying someone has hacked my account.   

must be pretty serious for 3 emails for an non-existant account.

[Harry Potter]

I got one saying my e-mail account has been suspended. Why is it that I was able to receive the message.

Hackers are getting dumberer.

[Stingray]

"Did you know 67% of women are not happy with you"

Like I care about them. There's exactly one woman in the world who I have to keep happy, the rest of them can get bent.

-S

[Luxury]

"Did you know 67% of women are not happy with you"

Like I care about them. There's exactly one woman in the world who I have to keep happy, the rest of them can get bent.

If I could get them all bent, I think I could lower the percentage to around 65% or so.

[danny_galaga]

alcohol, mans best friend (",)

[AC.]

To alcohol! The cause of . . .  and solution to . . . all of life's problems.

[TalkingOctopus]

The majority of my spam mail makes absolutely no sense and gets through my spam filters.

[duffjr]

i love the "someone has a crush on you" email where you have to register for some random site and don't even get to find out anything, i presume.  "no way, it must have been that girl that sat in the way back and would see me walk in all late dressed in what i wore the day before.  i knew it would pay off." 

[DrewKaree]

i love the "someone has a crush on you" email where you have to register for some random site and don't even get to find out anything, i presume.  "no way, it must have been that girl that sat in the way back and would see me walk in all late dressed in what i wore the day before.  i knew it would pay off." 

I bet it's totally her!  You should sign up and find out if it was her.  You KNOW you're gonna be kicking yourself in the ass when you meet her at a class reunion and she tells you she filled out the "I <3 duffjr" survey and was hoping and praying you'd find out about her lust for you.

[AC.]

Dude it IS her, I saw her checking you out.  Plus, I'm about to open a new deposit account because some Nigerians need to deposit $17,000,000 in there.

[cholin]

Yep, just as soon as they get that 10 grand and that personal information...

I wonder where this crap ends up?  Like if you did it but followed your money and stuff...who would pocket it?

[danny_galaga]

Yep, just as soon as they get that 10 grand and that personal information...

I wonder where this crap ends up?

[AC.]

The scam often involves them needing 2g for some upfront cost.  After they have hooked you, they start the milking.

[duffjr]

i only opened this email because i thought it was someone trying to contact me about suicide:

Subject:    Re: Our last email
Date:   Wed, 16 Nov 2005 00:40:34 -0600
Sir/Madam,

Your case file has been considered to the specific agencies, and upon cautious deliberation, we are able to tender to you the subsequent prospect.

Based upon cautious deliberation you qualify to acquire a sizable rield on your primary property investment.

By completing the subsequent attached form in a timely manner we will be able to finalize our estimation, and we feel firm you will acquire not only a lower rate of interest, but also a cash return that will complete all your holiday needs and more!

Please go here to finalize this juncture of the contract.   (http://knows-1.net/indeed.asp)

Wishing you all the best over the holiday period,

Lesa Good



I almost believed it until I realized that the big words don't make sense in context even if it's supposed to sound professional.

[AC.]

Yeah, I ascertain its those big words in there that, somehow seem like a foreign translation, subsequently delineated.

ridiculously. patterned soundings buckled lacquers trauma screech veterans.
besieging Managua insulted death balms Blackwell villager. mottoes lusciously
traverse rejectors despaired sergeants expeditiously. ones Palmyra pressure
glossary gum typeout peerless. pacemaker refreshed Brookdale vast grandparent
marketable chill.

[danny_galaga]

i'm so tempted with this one:

sectarian@ latinladies.every1.net press release 

i wouldn't mind a bit of sectarian latinlady action (",)

maybe they have sizable rields 

[Dartful Dodger]

They know!!!

I just got an email with an attachment from Admin@fbi.gov

Subject: You visit illegal websites

[duffjr]

well, one of their emails got through to my inbox for some reason.  maybe since i opened up the last one.

Sir/Madam,

Your specific case has been shown to the required commissions, and upon prudent weighing up, we are able to put forward to you the ensuing offer.

Based upon prudent weighing up you are eligible to attain a considerable rebate on your original property investment.

By completing the ensuing attached form in a timely manner we will be able to decide our estimation, and we feel positive you will attain not only a lower rate of interest, but also a cash return that will carry out all your holiday needs and more!

Please go here to decide this period of the contract.  http://hurry-3.com/indeed.asp

Wishing you all the best over the holiday period,

Donny Hurt