Seriously, it was so Barry Bonds to the Bay easy, I just gave him real advice.
You can take them to pretty much any pool hall and they will polish your balls for a small fee $10 - $15 typically.
Yeah, but they always make me sit in that funny chair and I simply WILL NOT continue to let them take pictures so they can demonstrate the "Before" and "After" effect. I mean, I KNOW what the heck they USED to look like, that's why I BROUGHT em to ya!
bos8, if you ask nice, I might let ya handle 'em. It's a shame you don't have any to handle yourself, though.

Mebbe next time you're near your buddie's "back porch" you can give him a Sunday Surprise!
Two guys are walking down the street, and they see a dog licking himself. The guy says to his buddy "Man, I wish I could do that!". His buddy says "Pet him. Maybe he'll let you".