Sex, sex sex, must get sex into it. Wait, I see a television commercial- There's this nude woman in a bath holding a bit of your string cheese. That's great, great, but we need a doctor, got to have a medical opinion. There's a nude woman in a bath with a doctor--that's too sexy. Put an archbishop there watching them, that'll take the curse off it. Now, we need children and animals. There's two kids admiring the string cheese, and a dog admiring the archbishop who's blessing the string cheese. Uhh...international flavor's missing... make the archbishop Greek Orthodox. Why not Archbishop Macarios? No, no, he's dead... nevermind, we'll get his brother, it'll be cheaper... So, there's this nude woman....
-S