les randonneurs canadiens sanglants me donnent les merdes !

[danny_galaga]

no offense GG and others, but geez canadian backpackers annoy me! so i'm in a dorm at the moment with 3 pairs of bunk beds. for almost a week this annoying belgian guy was in the bed above mine. every night he would cough and snore really loudly and was so restless my bed would shake (at least i hope he was just restless). so when he finally left i thought id get a good nights sleep. was looking good as a petite canadian girl took the bunk above mine. but it turns out she has a boyfriend who is now sleeping in the bed with her! just their annoying whispering is getting to me. if my bed starts shaking in the middle of the night im gonna turn on the light and tell him where to go!
in fact im going to politely tell him where to go today anyway. if he objects ill tell him to take it up with management which he wont because they would probably throw them out if they found out!
cant they just have a drunken shag in the showers like other backpackers do? sheesh...

[GGKoul]

Your just mad you made your move too late.

[Jabba]

Les Merdes, Les Merdes, mout tat dit, la merdes!!!

Dude, I read that and nearly spewed out all that fine tasting Fosters beer I had swilling in my chomps. Now what do you expect, galavanting around the country side. What would you do if you were backpacking with some cute little Canadian chick! Was the Canadian dude wearing a touque?   

[DrewKaree]

Was his last name McKenzie?

You give 'em what for danny!  Tell 'em to take off, ey?

[tommy]

I think if i was shagging that canadian chick and i saw you , you would be the one going. 

[danny_galaga]

Your just mad you made your move too late.

hehe. yeah, thats probably it! tell you what, since they want to be together on top of my bed maybe tonight ill just hold up my camera and snap away!

[Santoro]

hehe, Enligsh-only language filters here...

[Bones]

dany,

So let me get this straight.....

You left one hot place where you owned a home and a cocktail cab to move to another hot place where you now sleep each night with different nationalities fornicating just above your head?

Was this part of the master plan?

[GGKoul]

dany,

So let me get this straight.....

You left one hot place where you owned a home and a cocktail cab to move to another hot place where you now sleep each night with different nationalities fornicating just above your head?

Was this part of the master plan?

Too meet petite Canadian Girls.

[xar256]

Was his last name McKenzie?

You give 'em what for danny!

[Santoro]

Every time someone mentions the Mackenzie brothers I get Geddy Lee singing 'Take off' stuck in my head for a week.

[Jabba]

Kooooooo rooo kooo kooo kooo kooo kooo kooooooooo

[DrewKaree]

And what's wrong with McKenzie Eh?!?

Darn American Hozers!  Can't have no fun... 

Xar "256" McKenzie
<You didn't think Xar256 was my full name did you?  >

No, I thought 256 was your middle name


Every time I hear that name, I get this stuck in my head:

....and a beer......iiiiiin a treeeeeee!

Backbacon is in there somewhere too, but the beer in a tree is the best ender to that song!

[GGKoul]

"Hi. I'm Bob McKenzie and this is my brother, Doug."
"How's it goin', eh?"

[danny_galaga]

dont get me wrong, i like canadians, eh! just not these two, they dont even say hello. they just look at me like im something they mean to throw away one day. how rude. didnt even ask me if i mind them being there. theres two german guys, a frenchman and a swedish girl in the same dorm and we all talk and say hello etc.
i chickened out telling em what for because tonight theres something on tv i want to watch and i dont want her sulking and ruining the mood. tomorrow its goodbye!

[danny_galaga]

dany,

So let me get this straight.....

You left one hot place where you owned a home and a cocktail cab to move to another hot place where you now sleep each night with different nationalities fornicating just above your head?

Was this part of the master plan?

it was 33 degrees in darwin today and probably about 95% humidity. it was about 24 degrees here. not quite as hot 
and yes, it should be ME fornicating, not them! but i've been mixing with the locals instead, making more headway (",)

[danny_galaga]

ok, i know you guys dont want to hear but im giving you an update. i (very ) politely asked them if they might sleep in the other guys bed, and they rather rudely told me that if i wanted privacy i should get a hotel room! which is kinda what i was trying to tell THEM! and i know you guys are agreeing with my new canuck friends but to my way of thinking they should back down since its a basic regulation in hostels that there shuld only be one person per bed. so im paying money for the privilege of having an extra person crammed into the room while some other room had extra room for the same money.
soooo.... i kinda mentioned it to reception who said theyd check it out. what theyve done though is to move him into the same dorm. theyve done the right thing in that at least now there are only six people in the dorm. but of course i still get the two love birds cooing away above my head and the sound of zips and giggles. gross.  touche! and im still feeling as s...ty as before.
i have the solution though, and of course it will have to be me that makes the compromise. ill sleep in the bed he is now using as a storeroom and his s..t can go in my old bed. everyones happy. i am a stubbron old so and so though and because they never consulted me about sleeping together in the first place then ill just move his gear into my old bed anyway.
ahhhh, ive gotta get outa there. but not til i pull my stunt. cant have them thinking theyve won outright can i? gotta make it a draw.i dunno, it used to be FUN living in backpacking hostels....

[DrewKaree]

Get several bags of potato chips.

Crush them up nice and good before opening the bag. 

Lift up their covers while they aren't around.

Sprinkle liberally about the area.

Repeat with the bed he is supposed to be occupying.

Remove all evidence you've ever been there.

Read your book with a $#!7-eating grin when they come in.

Feign surprise as best as possible.

Ask inane questions, like:
     What flavor are they?
     Are they stale?
     Are they rippled, or plain?
     Do you think you'll get thirsty if you sleep there?
     Why don't you guys try sleeping in his bed?
     Do you think they put chips on your pillow in a hotel?
     Why would I....er....I mean "someone" do such a thing?
     Is it like lying on the beach?

Giggle uncontrollably to yourself

Repeat until your message is recieved.

[danny_galaga]

dude, we gotta go backpacking together! teach these young whipper snappers some respect (",). i might do the chips thing the day i leave. hehe. of course if we do, i aint sharin no bunk bed with you. i mean, yew sher got a purdy mouth, but i dont dig you that way...

[Bones]

Itching powder.

[DrewKaree]

dude, we gotta go backpacking together! teach these young whipper snappers some respect (",). i might do the chips thing the day i leave. hehe. of course if we do, i aint sharin no bunk bed with you. i mean, yew sher got a purdy mouth, but i dont dig you that way...

You talk like I was begging you to share a bunk, rather than the way it really happened

I learnt a tunna stuff frum my brudders in laws when we-all went kampin', like if sum onez pissin ewe off, putcher table skraps frum dinner under their tent on the side they sleep on.....jess make shure there ain't no bares in them thar parts!

[Bones]

Here is another suggestion you might wish to try.

Wait for the...err, moaning to start. Let it continue until just before it reaches a climax.

Then leap out of bed and yell- "ya ya, in der archstole. deefer, deefer"!





It has nothing to do with Canadians but it would be damn funny........

[fredster]

Two's company Three's a Crowd Danny.

Looks like you are the odd man out.  Sleep in you pup tent.

Either that, or spend more that $1.25 on your vacation....

[DrewKaree]

Then leap out of bed and yell- "ya ya, in der archstole. deefer, deefer"!

I picture this to be your favorite catch-phrase, the one that sticks in the back of your head and you use every opportunity to bring it out.....it's starting to grow on me too!

[danny_galaga]

Two's company Three's a Crowd Danny.

Looks like you are the odd man out.

[cholin]

Then leap out of bed and yell- "ya ya, in der archstole. deefer, deefer"!

I picture this to be your favorite catch-phrase, the one that sticks in the back of your head and you use every opportunity to bring it out.....it's starting to grow on me too!

Its funny because I completely forgot about that!  I remember someone kept saying it, and now Im guessing its you.  When I read that, you wont believe how hard I laughed...man I cant see, my eyes are waterring!

[Bones]

I picture this to be your favorite catch-phrase, the one that sticks in the back of your head and you use every opportunity to bring it out.....it's starting to grow on me too!

All two-dimensional characters need a catch phrase, mine is just more distastefull than most....

[danny_galaga]

Then leap out of bed and yell- "ya ya, in der archstole. deefer, deefer"!

.....it's starting to grow on me too!

aaahhhh, this explains your new avatar!

hey dont forget to bring your banjo when we go travellin together...

[DrewKaree]

PLEAAAAAAAAASE tell me you've learned another instrument too danny.  After I realized what you meant when you told me you were a "skin flute virtuoso", I couldn't eat for quite a while.

[danny_galaga]

PLEAAAAAAAAASE tell me you've learned another instrument too danny.

[danny_galaga]

i let one rip the other night and i realised that could be a good plan! ill eat lotsa beans (preferably chilli) at the right times and let it stew. then ill let em fly when im in bed and exclaim

"oh, yeah! now THATS what im talkin about!!"


pity i wasnt in the top bunk. would drift down to them quite nicely...

[DrewKaree]

A small portable fan will enhance your plan...as well as a dose of broccoli or cauliflower...perhaps a bit of cabbage for good measure?

[RayB]

You SO don't know how to swing. 

 

[danny_galaga]

You SO don't know how to swing.