Hey, what can I say, when the guy saw me coming with 2 2x4's to the cash he kinda rolled his eyes in disgust and said "Thats all you need, sir?
?, you sure you cannot fit that in yer car?"...
Then you should have DEFINITELY put down the 2 x 4's and said, I don't NEED your snooty attitude, buddy....I thought your company motto was "we can help"....evidently you're not a company man, so maybe you should run off to the break room and pour yourself a big cup of shut the eff up.
Then tell him you WERE going to BUILD yourself some carpenter pencils with the wood, but since he's got such a poor attitude and doesn't REALLY want to help you, you're just going to take one pencil, pre-made, to teach him a lesson.
And up here sir, that pack of gum is at LEAST $1.25 plus the GST and the PST, thanyouverymuch 
Right, that's what I said, $0.50. The problem is that I figured everyone knew you were buying it with Canadian money and that would amount to about five real dollars...i just skipped the middleman because if I said you were going to spend five of your screwy dollars, people would have told you to buy it on the internet, have people write "gift" on the outside, blah blah blah all that crap to avoid
free health insurance excessive taxation

And hey, KNUCKLEHEAD! Why didn't you buy some GRASS SEED?!?!?
