TOP TEN MOST MEMORABLE

[DrewKaree]

Killed by Bush

[Sephroth57]

"Dick Swett"


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA   

[GGKoul]

What's the frequency Kenneth...

[DrewKaree]

In either a funny coincidence, or you also subscribed to Borowitz, there's this for ya, GG:


IN FINAL BROADCAST, RATHER REVEALS WHAT THE FREQUENCY IS

Closes Book on Decades-long Mystery

In his final broadcast as anchor of the CBS Evening News, Dan Rather stunned the American people by revealing, at long last, what the frequency is.

"Friends, years ago, a gentleman accosted me on the street in Manhattan and asked me, 'What is the frequency, Kenneth?'" the longtime anchor said at the end of the broadcast Wednesday night.  "Tonight, I would like to answer that question once and for all."

"For the past twenty-four years, I have used these broadcasts to send thought-control brainwaves through your TV sets," the veteran newsman continued.  "In order to receive those signals, your brain had to be tuned to a frequency of 102.7 - and that, my friends, is the frequency."

But Mr. Rather saved his most startling bombshell for last: "My name is not, nor has it ever been Dan Rather - it's Kenneth."

Mr. Rather than held up a birth certificate showing the name "Kenneth Charles Doobin" before signing off the air with a simple, "Courage."

The anchor's final broadcast, widely considered the most perplexing of his storied career, became even more controversial after several leading document experts noticed that the ink on the supposedly 73-year-old birth certificate was still wet and running down the page.

The retiring CBS anchor issued a brief statement in which he chose not to address the controversy, merely saying that he was looking forward to his new job as an Afghan mujahideen.

Elsewhere, in a sign that democracy is continuing to spread in the Middle East, Lebanon scheduled its first elections for April and its first sex scandal for June.