When the DB25 is connected to your computer you should get power from the ipac and the ground from the ipac.
How do I get power (+5v) from the IPAC?
I think TalkingOctopus ment to say Optipac and not Ipac. In your first post you said you are already getting +5 from your Optipac. Using the OptiPac +5 is fine when you are connecting your P360's up to your PC. Just make sure you are using an OptiPac or Ipac ground wire in your PC-DB25 connector.
When hooking up to a Dreamcast, use +5 from the DC controller, and DC ground wires in your DC-DB25 connector.
To answer the question of sharing grounds between player 1 and player2 controlls, this is fine as long as both sets of controls are connected to a single DB25 connector.