A Festivus for the Rest of Us

[mozzer]

Many Christmas's ago, Mr. Costanza went shopping for a doll for during Christmas. As he reached for the very last doll, another man grabbed the doll from his hand. As Frank laid upon many blows to the man, he thought there has to be a better way. This is when a new holiday was born. A Festivus for the Rest of Us.

Instead of hanging a Christmas tree, an aluminum pole is set up. Aluminum has a tremendous strength to weight ratio.

Then, you gather your entire family around for dinner and tell them how much they have disappointed you over the past year. This is known as the Airing of the Grievances. Also, anything can be served for dinner as long as there are no bagels served. This is because Festivus Yes, Bagels No.

As Festivus rolls on, you come to the Feats of Strength. Until you can actually pin the head of the family, Festivus is not officially over.



Happy Festivus!!

[spidermonkey]

Yada yada yada..

[Sasquatch!]

Celebrating "Agnostic Christmas" has worked so far for me.

[mmmPeanutButter]

you're early... festivus isn't until the 23rd.

 

[nipsmg]

Ahh.... I love that show 

That's what I want for xmas, every seinfeld episode on DVD.. (In case anyone was feeling generous) 

--NipsMG

[Stingray]

I GOT A LOTTA PROBLEMS WITH YOU PEOPLE!

-S

[JackTucky]

That was the beginning when George finally got a boss that turned the tables on him.  He was more incompetent and lazy then George ever was.  Perfect.

He worked at Kruger Industrial Smoothing.

"You couldn't smooth a satin sheet Kruger!"

I'll be giving you all a gift, a donation in your name to the Human Fund.

Art

[shmokes]

Celebrating "Agnostic Christmas" has worked so far for me.

I love Christmas.  It's my favorite holiday by far.  I think it's really funny when people assume that Christmas is a touchy subject for me, or that I must refuse to celebrate it, being an atheist.  For one thing, very few people, christian or not, actually celebrate the alleged birth of Jesus on Christmas.  It's just a time when we give particular thought to finding something for people we care about that will make them happy.  I love Christmas shopping. 

Plus, it's not like we all have to become Pagans to celebrate Halloween.

I suppose there probably are some hardline, atheists that hold a grudge against religion and won't touch the subject with a ten-foot-pole.  I don't want to cut off my nose to spite my face, though. 

...and so on

[GGKoul]

you're early... festivus isn't until the 23rd.

That's right.. Festivus isn't until my birthday on the 23rd.

[Stingray]

you're early... festivus isn't until the 23rd.

That's right.. Festivus isn't until my birthday on the 23rd.

But it came early this year. It's a Festivus miracle!

-S

[Chris]

For one thing, very few people, christian or not, actually celebrate the alleged birth of Jesus on Christmas.

[hulkster]

Many Christmas's ago, Mr. Costanza went shopping for a doll for during Christmas. As he reached for the very last doll, another man grabbed the doll from his hand. As Frank laid upon many blows to the man, he thought there has to be a better way.

hasnt this been done before?  Jingle All the Way anyone? 

i hate seinfeld.  sorry, but the whole idea of "haha, joke joke" *weird bass playing music and magic warp to other side of town *haha joke that makes no sense" *repeat*....not funny

[hulkster]

Celebrating "Agnostic Christmas" has worked so far for me.

hmmm, thats kind of an oxymoron dude.  maybe Agnostic Holiday Season for you.  but you cant really have an agnostic christmas since the word Christmas = Mass worship of Christ

[mozzer]

i hate seinfeld

Shame on you!

[DrewKaree]

I hate seinfeld.

Jerry, I'm freakin' out here!

[JoyMonkey]

I mentioned Festivus at my wife's Christmas party tonight and it was well received by everyone. It's a shame that at this time of year, some people forget what Festivus is really all about...

[Bones]

i hate seinfeld.

No soup for you, come back 1 year!

[Sasquatch!]

hmmm, thats kind of an oxymoron dude.  maybe Agnostic Holiday Season for you.  but you cant really have an agnostic christmas since the word Christmas = Mass worship of Christ

Really?  "Christmas" to me means "Getting together with family, stuffing my face with food, and opening presents".

[shmokes]

hmmm, thats kind of an oxymoron dude.  maybe Agnostic Holiday Season for you.  but you cant really have an agnostic christmas since the word Christmas = Mass worship of Christ

Well...for one thing Christmas does NOT mean Mass worship of Christ.  Its literal meaning is something closer to Festival of Christ.  But really, that's neither here nor there.  Do I need to stop saying "goodbye" to people too since that stems back to "god be with you"?  Are you going to stop celebrating Halloween (or Christmas, for that matter) because it's a Pagan holiday and you're a Chistian (I guess)? 

The way I see it, if I can celebrate a holiday in which I claim to children that a fictional fat man with flying reindeer climbs down every chimney on Earth in one night, I can certainly stand to have another fictional character in the Holiday's name.   

[fredster]

I'm pretty much an Atheist too, but I love Christmas. It's great, I like the decorations, I like the music, I even like all the religous icons and the manger scenes.

I don't think that just because I don't believe in the birth I should inject my view into what other people hold dear. It's just wrong.

It's sorta like going to a birthday party and telling the person they are one day closer to death or asking them if they really know who their daddy really is.  It's not right.

In other words, I just keep my big fat mouth shut. If the rest of the group believes, then I'm not going to push my views on them and I expect that they won't push their views on me. I just smile and live and let live.  Otherwise, I'd be rude and obnoxious for really no reason other than to tell everybody "I told you so".

Don't you just hate people who do that?

[shmokes]

Whatchoo mean, 'walk tha earth'?

[hulkster]

hmmm, thats kind of an oxymoron dude.

[mozzer]

That's what this thread is all about a Holiday for all the masses, religious beliefs aside, A Festivus For the Rest Of Us

[hulkster]

didnt mean to turn this into church or anything.  just defending myself thats all.

[shmokes]

But Christmas IS about Santa and reindeer and presents.  Christmas is NOT about the birth of Christ.  Maybe it was originally.  And maybe it still is for you and a minority of others.  But, generally speaking, Christmas is about getting and giving presents.  It's about trees and ornaments and stockings and lights.  It's about christmas music and carolers and visiting family.  It's about generosity.  If you visited my apartment it would feel distinctly christmasy and there isn't a single religious icon.  Well...not true really.  I've got a star on my tree.  I should say that I don't have any overtly religious icons like pictures of jesus or nativity scenes. 

Why do you think hardcore Christians are always complaining about how commercialized Christmas has become.  We're both saying the same thing.  I just like the change and they don't.

And why should I use your "first definition of christmas" when you don't even use it?  When you say, "Christmas," you are referring to a day, not a feast.  You call the meal "Christmas dinner" -- as in "the feast that takes place during Christmas Day" not "the freast that takes place during the Christmas feast."  Words change.  Definitions change.  The original last supper was something like 20 centuries ago.  There was no such thing as Macey's or Wal-Mart when Christmas was first celebrated.  If you don't like what pure capitolism and business do to Holidays (and everything else) maybe you should rethink your political alignment 

And yes, not celebrating Halloween is uptight.  Aren't you a new father (I know that you're at least recently married)?  You should get a handle on that sort of thing before you kids grow up and realize that they don't like you.  Moderation in all things really is a piece of profound wisdom.  Anyway, our Christmas celebration, right down to the rituals and the day we celebrate it on, are taken directly from the Pagans, so you should really stop celebrating that too if you want to be a nutty, non-halloween-celebrating religious weirdo.  Seriously, though, it's all copped from Pagans (who were just regular good people.  they were and are not evil).  Click here to learn more. 

In the end, though.  It's pretty obvious that I'm right and you're wrong because...well...I do, in fact, celebrate Christmas.  I don't think that my belief in god rests on whether I use the word X-mas or Christmas.  If you think it does, than I would suggest that you have a fairly shallow idea of what it means to be a christian.  Like I say, I also use the word Goodbye which literally means "god be with you."  What'dya do?

[Dartful Dodger]

Christmas is NOT about the birth of Christ.

[SeaMonkey]

just as they moved the celebration of the Resurrection to the date of the Pagan festival of Eostre. Sort of a religious version of Microsoft's "Embrace, Extend and Destroy" strategy.

[the3eyedblindman]

You ever notice how much simpler things are to kids? Take the "I called it" system. One kid says "I want the front seat", and the other kid says "no I want it", then the first kid says "But I called it". End of story. Whoever calls something is the one that gets it. You can take it to court too... Judge asks child number 2 if he wanted the front seat, he says, yeah, and I told the other kid I wanted it too, then the judge says "Did he call it though?" and the other kid says "yeah". "Case closed, he called it, hes got it, you cant fight the call!"  (Gotta know alotta Jerry quotes to get that! I got the first 3 seasons on DVD for christmas! )

[shmokes]

It's often important to call it with no battles, e.g., "Front seat, no battles."  Cos if someone calls, "Battle!" before you say, "no battles," you have to do a best 2-out-of-3 rock-paper-scissors match.

[thrash242]

Xmas, Easter, and Halloween were all originally pagan holidays under different names.  They were turned in to christian holidays as a recruiting strategy.  Not only is Xmas not on the day that the historical Jesus was born, but it wasn't celebrated until it was decided that Christianity needed a winter holiday too.  Many of the traditions of Xmas (as well as Easter and Halloween)  come directly from pagan traditions as well.

I too celebrate Xmas as a generic winter holiday.  For me, it's all about hanging out with loved ones, drinking eggnog and getting/giving presents.  I have nothing to do with any specifically religious aspects of the holiday, being an atheist.