did a little research to find the popular one is Controls.dat.
Because it is the only one that does this

Yeah, the best bet, for an arcade cabinet/controls layout is to use normal mame (or advmame depending on the circumstances) with a frontend. It will look arcade like and be easier to navigate using joystick and button controls vs mame32. mame32 is designed for windows to be a windows application. You will need a mouse (tball) and mouse buttons to get around. And, being a windows app, you better have a pc monitor. Now this may not be a issue with your setup but this is the more wise way to go.
Then, as Minwah said, with the FE you use one of the viewer. You could use CPMaker inside of mame. Either you or you might be able to find someone that can add Buddabings (ask him) CPMaker into mame32. This owuld allow you to view the controls when you pause the game.