words/phrases that are underused/rated

[shmokes]

Ticklicious

[shmokes]

The "that's impossible" is a great one for IT people.  It's a great response to virtually any complaint.

"I get an error message when I try to print."
"That's impossible."

"I keep getting email messages claiming claiming that the message I sent to someone got blocked because it was infected by a virus, but I've never sent an email to that address before."
"That's impossible."

[MinerAl]

Make sure your "that's impossible" is a real Mark Hammil/Empire Strikes Back moment.

[shmokes]

I almost totally forgot one of my favorites.  This won't work for most of you, though.  If you're an atheist, though, you can make great use of this.  Start blaming god for things.  Here's an example from the previous election:

Shmokes:  I blame god for Bush's victory.  If he hadn't given Bush all those hurricanes in Florida he never would have had an excuse to swoop in to save the day.  He sent one, but saw that Bush's numbers were still pretty wobbly, so he sent another.  And another.  And another for good measure.

Other Person:  You don't even believe in god!

Shmokes:  That doesn't mean she doesn't exist.

[Mameotron]

heh, Shmokes, you reminded me of when we used to use quotes from the Star Trek TV show.  My favorites:


The warp drive is a hopeless pile of junk! (Scotty)

Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a mechanic! (Bones)

The result was a wrecked ship and a dead crew. (Spock)

[Floyd10]

what about:

The ship! She canut take it! (scotty)

[Crazy Cooter]

When you fart, just say "juice".  Then accuse the wife of "squirting"... loud enough so people hear.  She'll start laughing, turn red, and catch the blame.  Especially if it stinks.

ie:
*fart*
you: "Juice."
wife gets embarrassed.
you: "Oh my god!  Did you squirt?  I think you squirted!"
wife turns red and starts laughing/hitting (or runs away)
public blames her.

[clanggedin]

I REALLLLY hate when someone corrects me when I say "Can I do such and such".

[patrickl]

Or NARF!

[DrewKaree]

I refuse to vote on the grounds that I may inseminate myself.

[geomartin]

I like to use these on people

Short skinned and Optical rectalysis. 

You are short skinned "i.e. you are afraid that if you close your mouth your --I'm attempting to get by the auto-censor and should be beaten after I re-read the rules-- will fly open"

You have Optical Rectalysis "i.e. your optic nerve has crossed your rectal nerve and given you a shi$$y outlook on life.

Also it's a "layover to catch meddlers on" whenever someone asks me what something is.

[SpamMe]

I still like "Hotter than two rats f***ing in a wool sock," personally, but that's just me.

[GMZombie]

ok this is what i do to most people when i feel like being a dixk...

g/f: you wanna go out with me and my girlfriends to a gay bar??
Me: Let me check my watch....*im actually looking at my wrist which has no watch on it*
me: Nope!
g/f: Aww comon
Me: let me check it again.....*this time i hit my wrist acting as if the watch has stopped or is broken....*
Me: nope i still dont....

this works on anythign really...try it

otherwise ill just tell ya ill stunn ya  --I'm attempting to get by the auto-censor and should be beaten after I re-read the rules-- back to grade school followed by a fake kick to the stomach...eh im a wrestling fan at heart

[shmokes]

monkey klaw. It seems I am the only one using it.

How is it used and how do you convey that you are using a K for Klaw instead of a C?