Ok got all my problems fixed

, well all except the slow loading but I think that's a ram problem.
For others that are having config problems I found an easy solution.
Here's what I did :
I downloaded a FE called "Easymame" I used version 2.0 (already had downloaded before)
from :
http://www.mameworld.net/easymame/download.htmland placed the program in my MAME folder.
Then I ran the FE, chose the .exe file.
Once FE is up, go under "file" and choose "default MAME options"
From there I went to "Direct3d" tab and chose : use Direct3D -
that fixed small window in Sf/Capcom games
Then I went to the " Misc" tab and unchecked the : Use Bezels option and that took care of those annoying bezels on games like 1943 and such.
Also as a bonus on that same page there is an option to "Skip Disclaimer" and "Skip gameinfo" , check those 2 boxes and you will bypass the "OK" and select screen and go straight to the game !!!

Once you made the changes you want hit "OK" on the bottom right
and the changes are made. Exit FE and hop back to your favorite FE and enjoy.
There are some other great options to play with but its getting late.
Hopefully this will help someone else, I know it was bugging the heck out of me.
Thanks all.