How can I find more time to work on my cabinets?

[SirPeale]

Right now I have five cabinet projects in various stages of completion.

My problem isn't so much not having the time to work on them, it's getting over the feeling of "I'm not spending the time with my family" guilt that I feel.

I'm a stay-at-home dad.  So all day, I'm with the kids.  My wife comes home from work, and I just want to take time for myself.  She, of course, wants to see me (since that's the only time she gets to do so) and although she doesn't say it, her actions/body language make it clear what she thinks I *should* be doing after she gets home, and that's time with everyone together.

Now, I don't want to spend *all* that time working on them, just like an hour or two every other night or so.

Living in the apartment we do, its' rather hard to do anything noisy after like 8pm.

[old school gamer]

Stop Whinning! Just remember............. school starts up soon and you should have at least 6 hrs a day while the kids are in school to do your (work)!!! If the kids are little,they still have to take naps... That should give you an hour or more to get some work done. Just remember to spray some good smelling stuff in the house before the old lady gets home so it looks like you actually cleaned something!!

[SirPeale]

"Whining?"  I'm not.  I'm just trying to get some time to myself, without the guilt.

The kids are *very* little, and won't be in school for some years yet.

Naps?  What are they?  Unfortunatly, there's no way to enforce them.

And once the kids are in school, if I'm not running my own business, I'll be finding a job.  

[Sephroth57]

im sure while watching the kids you can find an hour or 2 here and there to work on your stuff. my g/f babysits her aunts 6 kids during the day, she gets breaks when theyre playing or take a nap or something like that.

[dirt]

just do what i do. i pull the playpen out to the garage and let my son play in it while i do what i need to do, be it workong on a game or one of the cars.my dad was a mechanic so i grew up in the garage. so my son will also


dirt

[Goz]

Naps?  What are they?  Unfortunatly, there's no way to enforce them.

There's always NyQuil for kids.

-Goz

[Trenchbroom]

I had two young pups to watch over myself when I was building my cab.  Just explain to her that you need 4-5 hrs. a weekend to get it done.  Once she realizes that you will actually be making headway on getting your crap cleaned up and getting the projects turned into a nice looking cabinets/conversation pieces, that should help.

You need to work the guilt angle a little better too.  "Honey, I get to spend all day with our beautiful babies and see them grow up while you are gone at work.  I think you need to spend some one-on-one time with our little darlings.  Don't mind me...I'll just be in the garage, cherishing the moment from afar."

[SirPeale]

You need to work the guilt angle a little better too.  "Honey, I get to spend all day with our beautiful babies and see them grow up while you are gone at work.  I think you need to spend some one-on-one time with our little darlings.  Don't mind me...I'll just be in the garage, cherishing the moment from afar."

LOL, that's funny.

[old school gamer]

OK,how about this... I know the kids are little so they probably go to bed by 8 or 9. This still gives you time to get out there and do some work before bed. You can spend some quality time with the wife in the garage and teach her the finer points of using power tools.Plus its always good to have a second set of helping hands.

[SirPeale]

OK,how about this... I know the kids are little so they probably go to bed by 8 or 9. This still gives you time to get out there and do some work before bed. You can spend some quality time with the wife in the garage and teach her the finer points of using power tools.Plus its always good to have a second set of helping hands.

You didn't read my whole post.  I live in a two bedroom apartment.  No garage.  Where'd you get that idea?  If we lived in a house, that would be ideal.  As it is, our neighbor is *constantly* complaining about the noise - and that noise would be walking around the house, or opening a drawer!  I think power tools would go over less well.  Yes, she's a real witch as well.


Edit: auto-censor didn't like what i typed.  What if I was talking about dogs?

[SirPeale]

just do what i do. i pull the playpen out to the garage and let my son play in it while i do what i need to do, be it workong on a game or one of the cars.my dad was a mechanic so i grew up in the garage. so my son will also

They're small, but not *that* small.  My oldest would actually be a pretty good helper.  My youngest is The Most Destructive Force On Planet Earth.  And he's too old for a playpen.  He climbs right out.

I do like the idea of the five hours a weekend thing.  Thanks!

[Zakk]

If you plan on selling them, then you can justify the time spent as "working".  That's how I get away with it anyway, "sorry honey, I'd just love to help you rub your mother's feet, but dangit, I gotta get this cab done, I have to deliver it (insert made-up deadline here)."

Works like a charm!

[SirPeale]

If you plan on selling them, then you can justify the time spent as "working".  That's how I get away with it anyway, "sorry honey, I'd just love to help you rub your mother's feet, but dangit, I gotta get this cab done, I have to deliver it (insert made-up deadline here)."

Works like a charm!

Now *that's* a great idea!  Thanks!

[Edgedamage]

Hmm I remember two years ago playing in the park with my son and was talking to another dad. He said "when you become a father your personal hobbys get put on hold for at least 10yrs". At first I thought he was wrong but now with our newborn and 4 year old. He was right. After giving my oldest all my spare time and also at the same time helping with the newborn there is no time left. I don't think I would be able to feel too good working on a hobby when the wife is sitting alone in the house. But one trick always works when the kids are in bed spend time with the wife rub her feet ask her how her day went.  And when she goes to bed tell her you will join her in a hour. And get some time in your hobby.

[old school gamer]

Sorry about that Peale,your right I didnt read the whole post. It must be very difficult to get anything done living in an apartment,I thought you might have a garage at the apartment, Ive seen apartments like that before. Im sure if I didnt have a garage,I wouldnt be able to get any work done. Like edgedamage said ,you might have to put you hobby on hold for a while. By the way I have a 7 year old and a 2 year old and I can relate to what your saying.. I would love to have more time for hobbies ,but be happy that your able to spend time with the kids,they grow up fast and will be gone before you know it.

[DrewKaree]

If you plan on selling them, then you can justify the time spent as "working".  

SELL HIS KIDS  

Well, that WOULD work, but I think he'll have to run that by the wife, and she probably wants proof of the pain of birthing them!

[SirPeale]

Actually, we've discussed selling the children many times.  This week the eldest came pretty darn close to being given to the Gypsies.

My youngest has a problem keeping his clothes on.  One second he's fully clothed, turn your back and he'll be out of them in no time flat.  Consequently when he does this he pees on the carpet.  Luckily he doesn't do that very often.

So rewind a week; there is a wet spot on the carpet in their room.  I sniff it to make sure it's pee (there's a fishtank in their room too, I wanted to make sure it hadn't sprung a leak) put a towel on it, and clean it as best as I can.

The spot *never* dried.  In fact, it started getting wetter.  I couldn't explain it, especially since the youngest was dressed all week.  I kept checking the fishtank.

So on Friday my wife calls me on the phone, and as we're talking I walk into the next room.  There's my eldest son, pants down, willie out, PEEING ON MY LIVING ROOM CARPET.

Then he tried to blame it on his brother.

So yesterday we went to the store and bought a carpet cleaner.  It's a middle of the line, and does a good job.  We were going to rent, but justified the purchase like this: if we use it just five times, it's paid for itself ($20 a pop to rent x 5)

We're baffled; what would make him do something like that?  We suspect it's because his brother does it, and he sees that we don't punish him (he's only 20 months old) and thinks he can get away with it.

[old school gamer]

Try rubbing their nose in it.......... it worked with the dogs!!!  LOL!!!

[abrannan]

Right now I have five cabinet projects in various stages of completion.

My problem isn't so much not having the time to work on them, it's getting over the feeling of "I'm not spending the time with my family" guilt that I feel.

I'm a stay-at-home dad.  So all day, I'm with the kids.  My wife comes home from work, and I just want to take time for myself.  She, of course, wants to see me (since that's the only time she gets to do so) and although she doesn't say it, her actions/body language make it clear what she thinks I *should* be doing after she gets home, and that's time with everyone together.

Now, I don't want to spend *all* that time working on them, just like an hour or two every other night or so.

Living in the apartment we do, its' rather hard to do anything noisy after like 8pm.

The only thing you can do in this situation is be totally honest with yout spouse, and tell her everything you've told us, your reasons for the timing, etc.  The ball is in her court then.  She might not say anything, but try to be passive agressive about it and give you "looks", but if she's not willing to come out and have an open discussion about it, and you have spoken openly and honestly about it, then you should work on your cabinets.  

[DrewKaree]

Try rubbing their nose in it.......... it worked with the dogs!!!  LOL!!!

LMAO @ that!  I was thinking while reading what Peale was saying - swat 'em with a rolled up newspaper!

I've found the market for kids you WANT to sell to be very very slim, or else you can't get a good price for 'em    I've had no success on three different models, all in varying states of distress....mebbe a good porting and a wax job....

[Santoro]

We're baffled; what would make him do something like that?

When I was 3 or 4 I used to make up any excuse to get out of bed over and over. I didn't wan't to miss out on what was going on downstairs so  I would pop out of my bedroom 3-4 times a night.  (Thirst, bathroom, nightmare, etc.)  Naturally my parents caught on soon and would forbid me from leaving the room, period..

Well, as can be expected every so often I would really have to go to the bathroom.  I those instances I would simply whiz into the bottom dresser drawer, right alongside the clothes.   In addition to providing relief, it helped make a point very nicely.

The rules were relaxed a little after that!  

So it sounds to me like your oldest is probably pissed (pun intended) the the youngest 'gets away with it' and is testing to see if he will get in trouble.  Or is jealous and is trying to get the youngest in trouble.  Probably the latter.  

I've got three kids and nothing surprises me anymore.

[fredster]

I dunno.  Maybe you could get a REAL job, then you could stop the wife from working.  That way she could take care of the kids like she should and reduce the urine smell from the apartment.

Once the smell and stigma of being Mr.Mom faded, then you could like get a promotion and move into a house in the country and move away from the big city.  Then you could put the games in the garage and really work on them and the kids could help you.  You could even use power tools when you wanted and the neighbors wouldn't notice.

Just a thought.

[Santoro]

Whoa dude.  

[SirPeale]

Nice, what a funny guy.  

Reason my wife works?  She makes a lot more than I ever could.

[zaphod]

Reason my wife works?  She makes a lot more than I ever could.

'Nuff said!  

[DrewKaree]

Nice, what a funny guy.  

Reason my wife works?  She makes a lot more than I ever could.

she have a sister?  I could use one of those models...my model is like a Triumph roadster, always nickel and diming me to death.

She's starting to get broken in though, so mebbe I'll keep her a bit more and work out some more of the kinks.

[SirPeale]

Nickel and diming you?  You wouldn't want my wife, or her sister (if she had one).  She spends money like we actually had a lot of it.

[shmokes]

Just think what it's like for me.....

I live in Southern Utah.  I have to have at least three or four of them.

[GGKoul]

Reason my wife works?  She makes a lot more than I ever could.

I wish....