Hey guys check out my new Cartoon!

[said7]

As you may know, Im a flasher  

Check out my latest project,

!WARNING ADULT MATERIAL!

http://www.rubbanecks.com

Let me know what you think

[shmokes]

I hope you're looking for criticism and not just complitments.

 I didn't like it much.  I'm not offended by the content (though I'm sure you have come to terms with the fact that your content limits your potential audience quite a bit).  About the only thing that offends me is stuff like racism and religion.  I just didn't think it was very funny.  It seemed like just about the only joke was the underlying premise, i.e., a cartoon about a bunch of adult toys.  Beyond that they were just going around being talking adult toys.  They smoked weed, but I don't know, I've smoked weed about a hundred times and so that's not that funny to me, I guess.  

The animation was cool and you've got a bunch of unique characters worked out, but I think you need some tighter writing and dialogue in there to make it all click.  Good luck with it, though.

It's impressive, though.  It's really complete.

Oh, yeah....add some music in there.  A thumpin '70's disco beat would add a lot.

[Apollo]

Ditto, some actual comedy would be excellent, once you get past the initial "oh look a bunch of cartoon schlongs" there's not a lot happening.
Excellent presentation though well done for that. Now you just need a writer.

[SNAAAKE]

As you may know, Im a flasher  

Check out my latest project,

!WARNING ADULT MATERIAL!

http://www.rubbanecks.com

Let me know what you think

lol,I like the game.
round fight ! khu khah boom !

You did all this from scratch ?  
Like all the drawing and stuff ?

[Frostillicus]

Nice animation, colors, etc.  Good use of flash.  A little too homestar runner-ish in presentation for me, in particular the menu sounds.  That stuff is cool only in small doses.   This just isn't that funny and I couldn't watch the first episode it just seemed slow.  You guys obviously put a lot of effort into it though and that's commendable.  The additional download stuff is a nice touch.

[said7]

Thanks guys,

I really am looking for some criticism. Me and 2 other guys have been working on this for about a year and we are dedicated to making it a funny and entertaining cartoon.

I have to agree that the first episode is a bit slow and the jokes are not as direct. Episode 2 looks to bring more actual and hopefully more laughs. I think that they will get much better when we get more character development and more into the story. I thinks its usually typical for animations to have a less that spectacular effect.

The main thing i think we have going for us  is the production quality, we can always improve on the writing.

And yes snake we did draw all this up from scratch.
Did you get the video game jokes in there?

Any comments and ideas are truly appreciated and taken into consideration

Thanks

[Frostillicus]

Well you got the production quality right on the mark - very clean looking.  I like the little illustrations of you guys in the about us area.  

[1UP]

Tighter editing, and more boobies.  >

Work on cutting out unnecessary scenes, like when the bad guys all come walking into the room, they're standing around a while before anything happens.  You could have just cut from the exterior of the rummage bin directly to the bad guys going "Muuahahaha!"  A lot of things could have been sped up or cut out.  This will not only make it more watchable, it makes a lot less work for you as well.

Also, you need to give us guys a reward for watching all those prongs walking around.  Definitely more boobies!