If you have very young kids, this is probably worth a read.
The first thing out of my wife's mouth was something like, "What the

?!"

Now, my wife tends to overreact. Dog

on the floor it's, "What the

?!"
Our mortgage is

to another company, it's "What the

?!"
Quite honestly it gets

This time though, she's

for me to wake up.
I look at the clock and it's 5 AM. I don't give a

.
If it isn't a new video game, a fire/flood/thief in the imaginary
game room, someone kidnapping the kids, or the winning lotto numbers, I'm not getting up at 5 AM and whatever it is, is going to have to wait.
She

, "What the

?!" again and tells me to get ---my bottom--- up.
At this point, I can tell I'm not going to sleep until I

So I swing my feet down and

out into the hallway and into a pool of water. Gee... that's awfully cold I thought.
I

past the kitten standing on top of the chair (how long has she been stuck there? I thought) and make my way to the bathroom and the source of the water.
It takes a couple of seconds before my brain realizes that I'm standing in nearly an inch of water and the toilet is overflowing. My wife is

at me at this point.
It's weird, but I'm as cool as a

.
Yeah, both kids rooms, the entire hallway, the bathroom and 1/3 of the living room is floating in about an inch of water yet I was wishing that I thought to purchase a wet/dry vac when they were on sale.

I take care of the source of water and reach in tank to fix the problem there (stuck floater), reach into the bowl (while my wife

at the thought of the "dirty" water) and pull out a HUGE wad of toilet paper my 2 year old tried to flush down. Then I hunt down the carpet vacuum and proceed to vacuum up about six gallons of water.
My little two year old wakes up and she knows she's guilty as hell and runs from the

and hides, buck naked I might add, on our bed with her butt in the air.
My 4 (5 this month) son is

as hell and picks his way through the water and watches the whole thing unfold with some

. Demanding his morning chocolate milk of course.
My wife is throwing every towel we have on the mess until I stop her and tell her

Of course she

me and we

but I

in the end and she takes the kids to daycare and goes to work.
The damage is astonishing. My faux wood floor is buckling and I spent all morning tearing up the carpet in the kids rooms.

Normally I'd rather do anything but go to work, but this is one of those rare instances that I kind of rather be doing anything else. I guess I'll have to drill an exploratory hole in a couple of places (under the countertops in the bathroom for instance) to see if I have some sort of water breach there. I figure I must have upwards of twenty gallons or more of water in the house.
And I'm not even mad.
