Thanks guys. I know some people just say thanks for the sake of it, but I really mean it. It always amazes me how good this forum really is.
She fell asleep at 2.50pm, the vet came late. At least she was given that little bit extra to spend with people that loved her.
What is upsetting is that I am not really an emotional person, but whenever I was upset or down she was always there. She was usually very loud and had a bark that would shatter windows, but whenever I was down she would just sit next to me, be completely quiet and look up at me.
Now that I am down she is not here to comfort me and that is what will be the hardest part.
I had her since I was 12. So through the toughest years of my life she was there. Now (even though in reality I am not) it seems like I am on my own.
There was a time when I became really ill. I was in intensive care for a month and hospital for a further 6 weeks. I remember her being the first thing I saw when I came home. She didn't bark or anything, just sniffed me, wagged her tail and sat by me whilst I lay of the sofa recovering for another 2 weeks.
I am at work now. I love my job, but I really don't want to be here now. I always keep work and personal separate so nobody knows. Yesterday I heard someone in the corridor saying that I seemed quiet (I am usually like my dog... loud). It is nice to know that there is at least some form of outlet here.
One thing has been really drilled home though... you can lose the people you love at any moment, so make the most of it while you can and tell them you love them everyday, because that chance might not come again.