im still sort of confused on which sort of joystick i should use, some say 4 way, 8way, so anyone really really know if nes is 4way or what?
I think you're having some difficulties at a conceptual level...
Once again, it's not the NES that's "4-way" or "8-way". It's the games.
For starters, a 4-way and 8-way joystick are identical. The only difference is how the SOFTWARE (not hardware) interprets the inputs.
For instance - on arcade PacMan, the game code itself can't handle two inputs being pressed at once. So when playing on an "8-way" joystick, if you slide the joystick from the LEFT position to the UP position, you will at some point hit both the UP and LEFT inputs at the same time. When you do this, the game code simply ignores the input. Try playing PacMan (ie: PuckMan) on MAME with an 8-way joystick and see how frustrating that is.
Now, a 4-way stick simply PHYSICALLY restricts the joystick actuator via a metal or plastic device, and stops the joystick from being able to move to the corner diagonals (essentially only allowing one directional input to be performed at any one time).
Moving beyond that, some 4-way arcade games were ported to console (eg: PacMan on NES). SOMETIMES the developers of these ports would alter the code so that the game could accept multiple directional input (simply overriding the first input with the second, rather than cancelling both). Thus, going back to our PacMan example, when you are pressing LEFT and slide your thumb on the joypad to UP, the game doesn't just ignore both inputs as it would on the arcade machine, but instead sees the transition from one direction to the next, and changes to suit.
So, once again, which type of joystick should you make for your NES? Well, that depends on hte game. Our friend Spiffyshoes made a nice list there for you, and it looks like you have a pretty good mix of 4-way and 8-way. Being a console system, I would opt for 8-way, as the vast majority of games were designed for that on console. As mentioned, there's no magic different between a 4-way and 8-way stick, so if you are smart you'll buy yourself a joystick that has a variable restrictor on it. If you come to a point where you find a game is unplayable in "8-way mode", then simply flip the stick over, change the restrictor plate, and get back to gaming with minimal fuss.
Hopefully this is now looking like less of a mountain, and more of a molehill.