So hard it's unplayable...

[JimmyU]

I found one to add literally last night. I'm a massive fan of scrolling co-op fighters and last night thought I'd finally play Double Dragon II through. Yeah it's starts mild and is noticably harder than the first game, but play it further and it turns to hell!

The awful 'left attack/right attack' control system aside, it soon gets ridiculously hard but in a very cheap way, not progressive. The enemy moves become very random, the collision detection is iffy, simultaeous blows always go in favour of the enemy and some dudes just seem unhittable. There was one particularly cheap bit where the sliding block wall just nailed me from left to right without any chance to move. This game is so cheap 1 life literally lasted 2.5 seconds!

In short, it sucks balls. The control system is lame, the slowdown is worse than the first game, the difficulty is cheap and the levels are literally recycled from the first game, with slightly newer skins. Finally the reward for completing the game? A single-frame picture and 'the end' logo.


This game is an abomination to the great original. I dare you to try it....

Double Dragon III is even worse.  The NES version of the game is truly the definition of crappy gaming.

[Ummon]

Oh Target Earth....That game was damn hard but really good.  Had a great Robotech feel to it.

Try rip-off. Some of those ships are right from Macross.


I don't think Double Dragon is that hard, and they really updated the speed of movement, as well as the moves. The spinning round-house and stuff is cool. You really need a partner to play, though. And I don't remember it slowing down. I'll have to go back and look.

[MaximRecoil]

Double Dragon for the Atari 2600 comes to mind. I doubt there is a single first-time player that's ever made it past the first pair of peon enemies that attack you. Yes, the game can be figured out (even then it is still extremely difficult), but for someone new to the game, it seems impossible.

[mini77]

Double Dragon for the Atari 2600 comes to mind. I doubt there is a single first-time player that's ever made it past the first pair of peon enemies that attack you. Yes, the game can be figured out (even then it is still extremely difficult), but for someone new to the game, it seems impossible.

I forgot that ever existed.  Sure the 2600 had some dodgy ports but Double Dragon was an abomination.  The collision detection is so bad you can get hit by a car an inch away from you.  That, and the graphics will make your eyes bleed.

[Beretta]

there are probably lots, but one that comes to mind is marble madness.. i never could play that game very well past the first board or two.. i liked the game but just could'nt get anywhere with it.

[protokatie]

there are probably lots, but one that comes to mind is marble madness.. i never could play that game very well past the first board or two.. i liked the game but just could'nt get anywhere with it.

Arcade (trackball) or NES version? If you sucked at the arcade version that much then I will have to * at you! The NES version was horrible, not just in controls.


* laugh at you so hard my eyes bleed piss and I poop myself!

Meh, maybe you played on a machine with a ---smurfy--- trackball, that would make a world of difference when it comes to MM.

EDIT: Or maybe you were young and playing it too much like arkanoid, thusly "over spinning" the ball, instead of focusing on precision in the moment?

[slasherman]

I always found Rolling Thunder very difficult but of course not unplayable...
And one of my favorite games Gun Smoke is also very hard, I always get tired by all the button clicking and then I miss... I think I have come to that Ninja without using continue..

Arcanoid is also very hard but this is probably due to, I never had the spinner...
The incorrect joystick. spinner, trackball and so on is often the reason why it's unplayable.

And Space Shuttle on Atari 2600...

[Ummon]

I forgot that ever existed.  Sure the 2600 had some dodgy ports but Double Dragon was an abomination....That, and the graphics will make your eyes bleed.

That immediately comes to mind when mentioning the 2600 in so late an era. Christ almighty.


Marble Madness only has seven boards, by the way, and time can get short real easy, but everyone should be able to get to the third board even with a joystick. Without cheats I've gotten to the fifth board once or twice, I think. I have a trackball, but only one, so when playing with another person, or just for shits an giggles, I've used a stick and, like in 270 racing games, there's a technique. You cannot use it continously, but have to push and baby-tap.

some people (myself included) struggle with Crazy Climber. Zwackery is near impossible without the right controls.

Zwackery does really need the right controls. Crazy Climber is a little tricky, but I've made it to the third scraper several times.

Not in the arcade... but there is a Really insanly hard game for Sega Genesis.
(and it Should have been in the arcades)


       "Target Earth"

I guess I'm just a hard-ass when it comes to this kind of thing, but all these invasion deals are just ridiculous. If you want it gone, then you drop a planet buster on it...or do something similar like in Greg Bear's novel THE FORGE OF GOD. If you want to take it over, then nano's the best way to go. Safe, and you just let it do all the work.

[NickG]

Arkanoid (arcade w/spinner) wins this one for me.  I am not sure if I can ever get better at it.

[MaximRecoil]

I don't think there is an arcade game that holds a candle to Double Dragon for the Atari 2600 with regard to difficulty right off the bat. If anyone reading this has never tried it, get an emulator and fire it up. Better yet, have a friend try it and sit back and laugh as he gets mercilessly throttled by the first two guys; completely helpless to do anything about it. I had my nephew try it once and laughed myself to tears.

[smalltownguy]

I always found Rolling Thunder very difficult but of course not unplayable...
And one of my favorite games Gun Smoke is also very hard, I always get tired by all the button clicking and then I miss... I think I have come to that Ninja without using continue..

Arcanoid is also very hard but this is probably due to, I never had the spinner...
The incorrect joystick. spinner, trackball and so on is often the reason why it's unplayable.

And Space Shuttle on Atari 2600...

Meh. Rolling Thunder. I've spent a bit of time on it.....

My nemesis? Believe it or not, Pac-Man. I've been tainted by the Ms Pac w/ speed up hack. When I play on regular speed now it's like I'm stuck on stupid or something.

[DrFrag]

My vote goes to Act-Fancer Cybernetick Hyper Weapon.  I stumbled across it while looking for Data East platform games.  When you kill an enemy, a powerup is released but it flies into the air and you have to jump to get it.  Get hit, and you lose powerups.  Over time, you lose powerups.  Get to the first boss a few screens in without powerups and you're toast.  Get killed, go back to the start.  It's insane.  Try it now, go on.  I can wait 30 seconds.

I also agree with Double Dragon III.  You can pump credits in and have multiple players, so you can make progress (so not really unplayable I suppose), but by the end your teammates are nothing more than bait.  Add to that powerups that can only be acquired by adding more credits, and it's a money eating machine that rivals Gauntlet.

Rolling Thunder is one game I don't find too hard.  Can't quite finish it on 1 credit, but I'm decent at it.

[ivwshane]

I feel ashamed for not thinking of it in my first post. Super Street Fighter II Turbo

By default it's set to Very Hard. This game is the reason why someone would want to put F2 on their admin panel.

Even on Very Easy, I can't get past the 3rd level.

Those who tell you the game is easy are lying.

Those who aren't lying are actually remembering Street Fighter 2: Hyper Fighting incorrectly, which is 10x easier.

In comparison Street Fighter II: The World Warrior is 100x easier and the entiretly of the Street Fighter Alpha series is 1000x easier.

When I set it up on my MAME cabinet, I have it configured so that the coin mech GIVES YOU money for playing it in compensation.

Although I haven't played a ton of games in mame, I did play this one and I have to agree!! It's freaken hard and made me want to smash my cab:o

I say this as someone who is decent at street fighter and I consider myself a street fighter junkie.

[Clones]

Pong man, that up and down motion gets me everytime.


I was playing mame arkanoid on an older computer and it was kicking ---my bottom---, was not real smooth.  Moved to a newer cpu and the game play is smoother and am playing a little better.  Rolling thunder continues to kick my electronic ass. 

 

[ark_ader]

Pacman.

[Jimmy Jingles]

Speaking of the 2600, I remember this E.T. game (or maybe it was Indiana Jones)? that was extremely hard.

Arcade wise it was always Defender for me...god how I sucked at that game.

[Dudeman]

"Unplayable" is really a per person thing. I've always found Defender unplayable. But I rock at Marble Madness and Crazy Climber.

[isucamper]

Speaking of the 2600, I remember this E.T. game (or maybe it was Indiana Jones)? that was extremely hard.

Arcade wise it was always Defender for me...god how I sucked at that game.

Raiders of the Lost Ark on 2600 was pretty much unplayable without some sort of exteral descriptions of what was going on and what the items were. 

[clok]

I have a problem with games that the Boss stages are unreal hard. You can with practice make it throuhg the normal part, then you get to the 10,000 shot ot kill boss who shoots 500 shots at a time. I understand its spose to be hard, i get that. But so many are just over the top.

Xmen: I can bea the whole game on a quarter, but magneto spanks me so hard. It took me a  long time to deal with the statue/egypt type guys (3), but i finally got so i could handel that. Rest of bosses are not to bad, but Magneto, I cry BS!

somebody tell me how to beat him without pumping quarters...

and dont tell me to use powers, you only have so many and this is single player im talking, not group.

[protokatie]

Speaking of the 2600, I remember this E.T. game (or maybe it was Indiana Jones)? that was extremely hard.

E.T. was easy if you knew what you were supposed to do (collect candy, wait for mother ship to call, then go onto mother ship - repeat. Just avoid the kidnapper and push up if you fall). Indiana Jones for the 2600 looks impossible. Have you seen the angry video game nerds vid for that one?

http://screwattack.com/AVGN/2008/Indy  he reviews a few others in this as well...

[Ummon]

Pacman.

I played Pac maybe ten times...if that....back then. Maybe the first time I saw it, I saw some teen dude get up to three keys. A few years ago, I got up to one or two galaxian ships. A couple weeks ago, I got my first key. I'm usually best on games if I haven't played them for a spell. Unless it's been too long, and then I have to remind myself of things to do.

Arkanoid is just breakout with bells and whistles. Not to hard, once you get the hang of it, although I think the tracking with a spinner is like any other geared optical game. There are gaps in the resolution, even with a TT spinner, cos it's just not the same precision.

I do hate those scrollers that are fairly easy the first and maybe second wave, and then just ramp up intensely. Good marketing tactic, though.

[ahofle]

I think I found the game referenced by the OP.  Jump Coaster.
Try this: do NOT research the game in any way, fire it up, do NOT watch the attract mode, add credit, and start.  Tell me you don't die in 3 seconds LOL. 
"You have no chance to survive make your time!"

[DeLuSioNal29]

Mortal Kombat II (Challenger Hack version). You start with the bosses, usually Kintaro as your first opponent.  Ultra unfair, ultra hard.   Try it and see for yourself.

The only cool thing about this version is that when you play with 2 players you can figure out Fatalities easier, since there is an unlimited Fatality time built into this version.   

~ DeLuSioNaL

[DeLuSioNal29]

Also, I agree with the Arkanoid comment.  I'm really good at this game and even with the unlimited man cheat it's extremely difficult to beat.  I kept saying to myself, "How the heck can someone beat this game playing normally?"

~ D

[miles2912]

I think I found the game referenced by the OP.  Jump Coaster.
Try this: do NOT research the game in any way, fire it up, do NOT watch the attract mode, add credit, and start.  Tell me you don't die in 3 seconds LOL. 
"You have no chance to survive make your time!"

LOL.   Ok went in blind.  Put in a quarter.  In 2.5 seconds first man dead.  HUH?  Ok.  Second man... dead in 5 seconds.. BUT - Huge breakthru.  I figured out what person I was controlling!

Last man.  Maybe 15 seconds and I learned that you can CENSORED.  Still no clue what I am doing.  Off to pump in a few more quarters and que the game up for friday night to see how fast my buddies die.

[ahofle]

LOL.   Ok went in blind.  Put in a quarter.  In 2.5 seconds first man dead.  HUH?  Ok.  Second man... dead in 5 seconds.. BUT - Huge breakthru.  I figured out what person I was controlling!

 
Exact same here.

Last man.  Maybe 15 seconds and I learned that you can

SSHHHHHHHHH!!!  That's the beauty of this -- not knowing that.  You should edit it out of your post LOL.

[Ummon]

I think I found the game referenced by the OP.  Jump Coaster.
Try this: do NOT research the game in any way, fire it up, do NOT watch the attract mode, add credit, and start.  Tell me you don't die in 3 seconds LOL. 
"You have no chance to survive make your time!"

Circus Charlie is like that, too. Was for me, anyway. I eventually got up to the third or fourth board, but the maneuverability an all is really not intuitive.

[Ummon]

Okay, I played Jump Coaster pretty much as requested. I had looked up the game at KLOV, but only quickly browsed the screenshot. I got past the first board on my first dude. I, however, didn't get very far on the second, because I wasn't really paying attention to the coasters, which you have to think all four directions, and jumping doesn't 'pull you off the grid'. This game is a bit like Mr. Do's Wild Ride, but not anywhere near as cool. But it may be okay enough to go in my 'mentionable' category.