That's just a Steven Wright joke...powdered water 

I spilled spot remover on my dog............now he's gone
If you were driving in your car at the speed of light and turned the headlights on, would anything happen?
I've got a life-sized map of the United States.  In the corner it reads "1 mile = 1 mile".  Last summer, I folded it.
I went to the hardware store and bought some of that used paint.  It came in the shape of a house.