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| High school drop outs |
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| Vigo:
Looking from the outside, I get the impression your nephews look up to you quite a bit. Even if it is a summer thing, I think you have enough cool interests that something has to spark with them if you can get them to come over for at least a few weeks. Maybe toe the line where you can crack into another awesome project with them as long as they don't fail out of school. They might respond to that. :dunno If they are really in hillbilly hell, then there might be enough incentive alone that they can get out of town during the summer if they pass at school. |
| ark_ader:
--- Quote from: yotsuya on April 22, 2015, 01:59:57 pm --- --- Quote from: Mr_Numbers on April 22, 2015, 01:50:28 pm ---We all have opinions, shouldn't you share yours with reasoning behind it seeing as you have 19 years (at minimum) in the education field? Otherwise why even bring that up? :dunno --- End quote --- Because I don't feel like Internet fighting today. Nobody wins. --- End quote --- You seem to like to piss on my threads, why not here? ::) --- Quote from: Vigo on April 22, 2015, 03:31:45 pm ---Looking from the outside, I get the impression your nephews look up to you quite a bit. Even if it is a summer thing, I think you have enough cool interests that something has to spark with them if you can get them to come over for at least a few weeks. Maybe toe the line where you can crack into another awesome project with them as long as they don't fail out of school. They might respond to that. :dunno If they are really in hillbilly hell, then there might be enough incentive alone that they can get out of town during the summer if they pass at school. --- End quote --- This could work, if you make it an incentive. |
| Xiaou2:
Heya Ed, First, Props to you for looking out for them. So many people are so wrapped up in themselves... and cant even be bothered to help... even if asked directly. Some of the Harsh words said in reply here, sadden me greatly. It shows lack of compassion, empathy, understanding, patience and care. Condensed: - Mother : Mentally Abusive. Hate, anger, manipulative, ... and Neglectful. No attention nor affection was given. - Father : Physically and Mentally abusive. A true terror, that I was lucky to survive. - Poverty : Not even an Atari... until like 1mo. from non-production. Few toys. Not much to eat. Few clothes, many stained, ripped, and or way too small. - Bullied and made fun of at school. No friends till maybe 8th grade... in a different school. - Bullied at the Appt. complex we were living at. - Spent most of my youth, hating myself, poverty, parents, and suicide was a consideration... - Had no motivation or drive. Almost always tired. Hard time concentrating. Was slow mentally, compared to the other kids. - Was weak and clumsy. Always picked last in gym. Always made fun of, and or railed for my lackings in coordination. - Dropped out of School in the middle of 10th grade... due to huge conflict with Mother. - Video games may have been one of the few reasons why I made it this far. They took my mind away from the pain and suffering I was going through on a daily basis. - Years of neglect and abuse, and a loveless life... led to years of intolerable loneliness... creating repeating cycles of heavy Depression that lasted almost into my 30s. Feeling so empty and alone... that it was like I had a hole inside my heart. It burned as if it was on fire. Id get weeks of it, put a bandaid over it.... and keep moving on... but it would always rip back open again. - It also created a lack of confidence and self worth. Hence, when I did get into negative relationships... I stuck with them... because I felt that was all I really deserved... It took years of self repair to try to Undo the damages that were impressed into me as a child, from my father. First, to become aware of my issues... and next, to try to find a way to get past them. I was deeply hurting internally, as a result of neglect, as well as not having a single shred of Love in my home life. All I got was pushed around and abused. My only inspiration, was my Grandfather.. but we only saw him on some of the Holidays. He would drop everything, and say hello to us Kids. He would pay full attention to us, tease us, play games, ask us how we were, give us warmth and love... and no matter what negative things mother said to him about our past Naughty behaviors... he didnt judge nor change his feelings about us. He was everything they were not. Kind, Patient, Hard to anger, never used curse words, always put others before himself, generous, respectful, a deep thinker, quick to forgive, didnt pre-judge others... nor make negative assumptions. He was a great listener. A problem solver, and conflict resolver. If you upset him... he would set you straight sternly... but then would still hug you and forgive you shortly after. If only I could have had him as a father... Anyways... even with his influence.. it took a long time before I was able to approach his inner qualities. *** As a kid in such a place... I didnt see past my own nose. I was living inside a dark tornado... blind to most everyone, and everything... as most all of my consciousness was Internal. Internally feeling horrible. Sorry for myself. Hate for myself and my life. Anger for being brought into this world. Pain & Suffering. Nightly Nightmares that could be made into horror movies that would be Banned from being shown in Theaters.. Reliving negative past experiences. Feeling bitterness, having Jealousy. Any attempt to impress importance of school was fully lost to me. I didnt think Id even live past to graduation, let alone find a job in the 'Real World'. Id figured Id just be a dishwasher at best... my full life. I simply didnt care about anything. Felt things were completely hopeless. And so I gave up. Didnt even really try. No amount of force and stern words.. nor stern actions... would have changed my ways. It only would have made me worse... which is exactly what happened. At the Age of 16, mother got me a job washing dishes at her workplace. It kind of helped to turn me around even more... because I now had the money to buy nice clothing... and since I felt better about myself, I looked happier and reacted better towards others. I actually started to made more friendly relationships... but then, we had to move... due to mother divorcing step father... The story is far too long to fully get into... but the point basically boils down to the fact... that until I was strong enough internally... there was no hope whatsoever. I needed most... someone to give some love and attention... and some guidance that wasnt too harsh, too judgmental, too overbearing. I needed Positive reinforcement. Some experience. And some time to fix my internals... so that anything would even remotely start to be heard. Remember that change is a long and slow process, in humans. So despite your care and concern, remember to be patient... and so try to disconnect failures or lack of progression, from your emotions. A Buddhist main principle, is that one should realize that mankind's Suffering, comes from Attachments. From expectations. If you are expect (emotionally attached) a certain result... and it does not come to pass... then you will cause your own suffering. However... if you remain kind of detached... you can accept whatever results that follow. All that said.. I do know that I, as well as most... could have used a far better wake-up call about the "future to be". But the schools... and even parents... rarely make these things that clear. For example... young children often do not understand the real value of money... where it comes from... how hard it is to earn it... and the monotony of the daily grind. If a physical lesson is provided in a very realistic way... It could very well lead to far better choices, as well as better parent to child relationships. Also, many kids are a bit spoiled in some ways... in that many things are given easily to them. Many come to expect this level of treatment. Expect to be saved when they fall. And parents fall into the trap of thinking Love is giving kids everything they ask for ... and or saving them from every negative circumstance they have gotten into. Basically, creating a helpless, self-centered, careless, adult-baby. None of this stuff is easy. And most of success in life, is overcoming ones Internal battles. Ed, I sincerely wish you and yours, the best of luck in overcoming these challenges. Admiration and Respect, Steve |
| ark_ader:
That explains it. |
| Xiaou2:
--- Quote from: ark_ader on April 26, 2015, 04:57:09 am ---That explains it. --- End quote --- Funny enough, I was at a Managers meeting for Namco's Time-Out Arcades. I sat amongst a table of like 10 managers. They got to the issue of Hiring. A bunch of them started spewing things about how nobody should hire dropouts... unless theres a GED. Said that they just wouldnt be willing to work hard, could be thugs, thieves, and other stupid crap. Funny thing is that the DM whom hired me told me he wasnt supposed to hire, for that company policy. I was already Managing an Ice Cream shop in the mall. I told him, to prove myself, Id work from the bottom level employee upwards... but only with true intent to promote. He hired me, and I was promoted twice.. making manager in under 3 months of training. I voiced my opinions to said table... of their idiocy. That many whom have dropped out, may need the job more so than the others... and whom may be willing to work harder than the rest. Funny thing is... one story they told, was that of a "Diploma'd" Manager, whom was recently fired for selling tokens and pocketing the money... among other crooked things. I think he even found a way to steal the deposit money as well. While I do not advise people to drop out... It should never be a statement of whom they are. Quite frankly, most of school's memorized knowledge is utterly Useless... and many people cant even remember the stuff, even a few years after, let alone a few months after getting out. Schooling doesnt prove character, drive, adaptability, attitude, nor work ethic. It barely teaches you the ability to "Think" for oneself. But, because so many people are so Judgmental... its best to have the degree, else some zombie clown, will try to hold you down. |
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