I agree, all light off is way too dark, and not great for your eyes in combination with the flashing lights.
I also do not like Recessed lights at all. The light is always too focused in small spots... and that makes things too dark in most areas, and too bright near them.
The temporary solution, could be to hang something like an inverted cone / umbrella under them. Paint the inside white, so that most all of the light reflects up to the ceiling. If its still too bright, use a low watt bulb, or place a tinted filter around it.
I noticed that when putting a touchier lamp in the living room.. (low watt florescent bulbs in it) there was virtually no glare on the TV glass anymore. In comparison, any standard lamp always reflects badly off of it.. and thats even with the factory anti-glare coating.
Another thing Ive thought about trying, is getting hold of some polorized tint film... and putting it on the glass top.
Other options... Overhanging Fabric tents. Hanging plastic shields made of semi-translucent (or outright reflective opaque) material. As well as a DMD anti-glare reflector. (simple piece of angled plastic)
Anti reflective glass is too expensive for me. Cheaper to wear polarized glasses while playing