I live in kinda a crappy neighborhood. I've had a couple break-ins at my house, and the neighborhood is shady - tons of foreclosures, drug problems, domestic issues, etc. But, I'm used to it all. Nothing could have prepared me for yesterday.
I have been a grilling up a storm now that the weather is warm enough. So for Memorial day, I go out to as usual to prep my grill. I uncover my grill, set everything up, and get ready to fire it up in preparation for that whole chicken I seasoned to perfection. I look down in horror upon one of the most unholy sights I have ever gazed upon. Someone else's meat was left out on my ---smurfing--- grill. This is not even good meat here, it was an Oscar Meyer wiener flopped right out on my grill. Grill rape in the first degree.
I feel so violated right now. I just can't shake it. Who would do such a bastardly thing as sneak on someone's property use another man's grill? A ---smurfing--- weiner on a stick too! Those microwave in 30 seconds flat. Then they had the nerve to use my grilling utensils and leave little bits of wiener all over my stainless steel tongs. To make matters worse, they covered my grill back up when done, as if I wouldn't notice. I never saw a need to disinfect a grill before yesterday, but I had to do something to ease the feeling that my grill was violated by a 2 dollar whore of the BBQ underbelly. I still was able to cook my chicken to perfection, but I did not enjoy one bite. Not one bite at all.
Maybe I shouldn't have locked my grill up. I can understand a thief, but to use another man's grill is just beyond anything I can comprehend. And seriously isn't this a major violation of man-code? You know, don't mess with a man's dog, truck, boat or grill? If I ever catch that fiend, there will be hell to pay.
Sorry, I had to get this off my chest. I think I kept this bottled up inside far too long.