Ugliest cab ever contest...VOTE NOW !!!

[Level42]

OK, how about a nice round-up of ugliest cabs ever ?
I think universal cabs (not the manufacturer Universal !) are mostly the ugliest around.

I'll kick of with two of the worst (I actualy saw one of those in real, almost vomitted ):



http://cgi.benl.ebay.be/Borne-darcade-non-jamma-avec-2-jeux_W0QQitemZ280005335382QQihZ018QQcategoryZ13716QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem#ebayphotohosting


This one is probably built in Belgium. Note how they tried to match the cosy interior of a Belgian bar where this unit probably was meant to be operated. At least the cut-out wood working is craftful but I hate it !!! Never try to make an arcade game look like a cupboard !!! And that marquee and bezel, what a combination with the cab, yugh !

Here you can get an idea of the side of such a cab:
http://speelgoed.2dehands.be/markt/baby_speelgoed/kermisatractie/11467708-wimi-s-style-video-game.html?sort=datum_desc


Next (probably even worse !!):



http://computer.2dehands.be/markt/console/overig/14352240-te-koop-arcade-kast.html?q=arcade

Words are not enough here......just click on that image and shiver !!!

Notice that both units use the same strange kind of coin door .....mmmmm maybe same manufacturer ?

[grantspain]

that world cup 90,they have gone well over the top with the artwork

[RayB]

That first one, the ebay listing mentioned it's made of "wood and copper". WOW

[Level42]

Yeah and then they wonder why videogames got so little interest lately.....

[Level42]

So no-one else has pictures of ugly cabs ?

OK, I'll  add one then: How about the ugliest cocktails ever (can we actualy call these cocktails ?)



Gotta admit: Nice big screens and very compact 

[hnugz]

http://www.wickedretarded.com/~crapmame/

[2PacMan]

  LOL...that site is hillarious.  Never seen it before.  I kept hoping when i clicked 'next' that my MAME machine wasn't going to be the next one!

[DaveMMR]

So I assume we're talking about actual cabs and not Mame cabs?  If so, I can't believe no one brought up the obvious... Poly Play!  If you had to ask me to date it, with no prior knowledge, I would have said 1978.  It's actually 1985! 

By the way, I've read that CrapMame site.  Hilarious and educational. 

[Level42]

Indeed, I was aiming at original cabs actualy, but that site with those hideous "mame-cabs" is great fun !! (I had seen it before though). And indeed you learn a lot from other's mistakes 

That Poly-Play thing is a fantastic contribution to this contest. This is MEGA-Ugly. I wouldn't want to be found dead over that machine....IT"S TOTALY HIDEOUS !!

Just read the KLOV info on that machine, and I read that it's an Eastern German product. Fits well next to your Trabant. 

I wonder what cab will win this contest, a Belgian or a German one ? Both are neighborcountries for me......let's pray that no-one digs up a Dutch made cab that's even more hideous 

I hadn't seen that one before. We want more !

[arcadefever]

 




http://cgi.ebay.com/Burgertime-video-arcade-game-A-TRUE-CLASSIC_W0QQitemZ300008998023QQihZ020QQcategoryZ13716QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem


 

[Magnet_Eye]

LMFAO! I just busted my insides laughing so damn hard from that site! I haven't laughed this good in years!

"CLEAR THE RUNWAY. PAC-MATT IS TAKING THE **** OFF!!"

"It's ARCADE PARADISE!

Clue 4 U: Nobody uses 9 inch monitors in paradise. For the sake of **** man."



Hahahaha! that guy's a riot!

 

[Q*Bert_OP]

http://cgi.ebay.com/Burgertime-video-arcade-game-A-TRUE-CLASSIC_W0QQitemZ300008998023QQihZ020QQcategoryZ13716QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem


 

Now *that* is what we call genuine firewood. (after you take out the burgertime insides, of course)

[97thruhiker]

http://www.wickedretarded.com/~crapmame/

"Did somebody bust open a bag of skittles on this mother******* control panel?"

That site is brutal but funny.

[BlinKY1337]

How terrible it would be to be on one of theese sites after all the work ouch

[RayB]

Here's a joke of a cabinet that the owner is selling as a genuine Pac Man and wants $600 for it!

[Level42]

Ohhhhh, Ray, can't you see ?? This is the "thought to be lost" pre-prodcution beta-test model, made by Tohru Iwatani himself !!!
Can't you read the marquee ? It's a New Game !!!

This is at least worth $2000 !!!





Not....sigh.....

But in al honesy, this is not going to rank high in the "ugliest" lists. I've seen a lot worse. I can't believe if you want a Pac themed cab that you do it this way, but it's not the ugliest I've seen.....

[Level42]

This is not contending, since it's not an original cab but this it MAJOR UGLY !!!:



I said it before in this thread: do not try to make a cab look like a cupboard.....(only exeption are cocktails, but those were MEANT to be like a piece of furniture)....

The problem with this one is that it is totaly hideous as a cab, but ALSO as a piece of furniture...

I hope this is put on "our" Wiki as an example of how not do things ?

[Vigo]

This is not contending, since it's not an original cab but this it MAJOR UGLY !!!:



I said it before in this thread: do not try to make a cab look like a cupboard.....(only exeption are cocktails, but those were MEANT to be like a piece of furniture)....

The problem with this one is that it is totaly hideous as a cab, but ALSO as a piece of furniture...

I hope this is put on "our" Wiki as an example of how not do things ?

your picture link is dead, so I'm putting a link to what you are refering to back on:

http://wiki.arcadecontrols.com/wiki/Image:Armoire.jpg

I don't know how that thing is considered to be a transformer....it's a cabinet disguised as a....well...a cabinet.

[davieboynj]

In the right environment, i think the armoire arcade kicks ass...  If my wife hated arcades and I had a small place, I'm sure i would end up sneaking something like that by her... 

Fortunately, I don't have to.  We're going to pick up her time pilot in a little bit.

[Vigo]

I had an idea a while back called Ghetto cab, which was inspired by the ghetto scooter. Basically it would be a cabniet made so poorly, it would just be a joke to look at.

Ghetto scooter

Ghetto Cab

[shardian]

You should make the ghetto cab. You would get a mamey for sure!

[horseboy]

http://www.ugiansky.com/trashcade/index.html

This one did get a mamey.

[ClubNinja]

For the record, I'd kill a kitten for a Poly Play.

[Vigo]

I'm currently married, and therefore will not be able to creade the Ghetto Cab. I won't object to someone making it in my stead as long as they give me some credit for inspiration.

Trash cade is awesome, I wonder if the guy really uses it. The only thing I disagree with is the X arcade deal, but I guess it just fits the theme of trashcade.

[Vigo]

For the record, I'd kill a kitten for a Poly Play.

Ok, Anyone out there willing to exchange any arcade cabinets for kitten sacrifices? We currently have two people willing to sacrifice a kitten.

Maybe I should post this on the buy/sell/trade board

Willing to trade [US-WI] I desire any and all arcade parts or cabinets in exchange for Kitten sacrifice. Trader must provide kitten

[shardian]

...you could use old light switches for buttons... that would make things very interesting. I have a handful of old lightswitches to donate to the cause.

[Vigo]

Hey yeah, or even a dimmer switch or even a pull chain lightbulb switch I would love to see someone rack up points with those

[shardian]

For a joystick, you could sit a screwdriver down in a hole with a ground wire attached to the metal part. During movement, it would come in contact with some scrap metal pieces with signal wires attached for directional senses.

OMG, this project is really starting to sound interesting.

Viggo, you should post a new thread for design ideas on the ghetto cab. This thing could end up being pretty neat!

[Vigo]

yeah, I'm on it...which board is the morst appropriate to start it on ya think?

[shardian]

Probably arcade misc. would be fine. I guess you could put it in project announcments if you wanted, but it is really just in the thought process stage right now.

[Vigo]

ok, I'll put a thread up

[Level42]

Hey, great fun guys.....I like it when a thread takes unexpected directions !!!

However, to return to subject just a bit, I have found another contender !!!
And it is with a little bit of pride that I actualy spotted this one and photographed it myself 

Last weekend, me and the family were in Scheveningen, the most famous beach resort in Holland. Don't come there a lot, but that might change, because I must say, I think they have the last true arcade in Holland. And with a fine selection of games too. I will post about it in another thread. However, amongst all the cabs there I found this totaly crap looking cab. I think it's been there since ages. It does hurt to see such a great game (1942 of course) in a condition like this. Look at the screen, those lines were there for real, that is not caused by camera ! But the worst thing of course is that mega-ugly cab. It's almost wider than tall ! I don't like the buttons and the cab was pretty much beat up, but that makes sense after all these years. No wonder that they put this one between the trashbin and some (defective) kid's cab.

The only good thing about the cab are probably the Suzo sticks.

I must say all the other games were in great condition !!! They had two pins that played excellent, so they do a good job on maintanence.
This is also why this cab was just so "out of place" there....

[Vigo]

Yeah, thanks for letting us hijack your thread for a while there...

Once you have got enough ugly cab pics collected, you should put a poll up so we can vote!

 

[Howard_Casto]

So I assume we're talking about actual cabs and not Mame cabs?  If so, I can't believe no one brought up the obvious... Poly Play!  If you had to ask me to date it, with no prior knowledge, I would have said 1978.  It's actually 1985! 

By the way, I've read that CrapMame site.  Hilarious and educational. 

Don't pick on poor poly-play... it isn't ugly, it's just communist.  Literally, a product of East Germany.  Were lucky it isn't entitled "Glorious Socialist Games of the People" and painted red with a picture of Stalin on it.  Not that there's anything wrong with that, I'm just saying, like tetris, it's a miracle that it ever even made it into production.   

[brophog]

The only good thing about the cab are probably the Suzo sticks.

And here I thought it was the suzo's making it ugly.

[danny_galaga]

So I assume we're talking about actual cabs and not Mame cabs?  If so, I can't believe no one brought up the obvious... Poly Play!  If you had to ask me to date it, with no prior knowledge, I would have said 1978.  It's actually 1985! 

By the way, I've read that CrapMame site.  Hilarious and educational. 

Don't pick on poor poly-play... it isn't ugly, it's just communist.  Literally, a product of East Germany.  Were lucky it isn't entitled "Glorious Socialist Games of the People" and painted red with a picture of Stalin on it.  Not that there's anything wrong with that, I'm just saying, like tetris, it's a miracle that it ever even made it into production.   

well, actually someone in the west ripped off tetris knowing the commies werent about to sue for infringement...

[DaveMMR]

So I assume we're talking about actual cabs and not Mame cabs?  If so, I can't believe no one brought up the obvious... Poly Play!  If you had to ask me to date it, with no prior knowledge, I would have said 1978.  It's actually 1985! 

By the way, I've read that CrapMame site.  Hilarious and educational. 

Don't pick on poor poly-play... it isn't ugly, it's just communist.  Literally, a product of East Germany.  Were lucky it isn't entitled "Glorious Socialist Games of the People" and painted red with a picture of Stalin on it.  Not that there's anything wrong with that, I'm just saying, like tetris, it's a miracle that it ever even made it into production.   

It's a pile of wood and electronics, and therefore, can not have hurt feelings.   PP is cool with it, I'm sure.   

[Level42]

The only good thing about the cab are probably the Suzo sticks.

And here I thought it was the suzo's making it ugly.

I meant they were the only good-quality parts. Wether they look nice or not is a matter of personal taste. I like Suzo's grew up with them, short throw and trabel, VERY sturdy and well built. So many of my other topics about my love for Suzy, I mean Suzo

[Level42]

OK, this is not a real arcade cab, but it's SOOOO ugly, it definitly deserves a place here.



http://cgi.ebay.com/Carpeted-MAME-Arcade-Cabinet_W0QQitemZ320013267481QQihZ011QQcategoryZ13716QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

Even IF you decide to do the carpet thing, at least hide that you used a TV-set as a monitor and at least TRY to make your own CP.......

They even had the guts to put Pac Man on top of this.  BLASPHEMY !

[brophog]

Wasn't converting everyone to Suzo's part of Hitler's global plan?

[Level42]

Uhmmmmm, for what it's worth. Don't know how they teach history at your place, but Hitler was German (actualy Austrian, but that was about the same at the time he ruled...)

Suzo is DUTCH. (Actualy DUTCH comes from Deutsch, which means German, but apparantly in the past English speaking people couldn't hear the difference between our language and German....this is already painful enough as it is.....)

The Netherlands were run-over and occupied for 5 years and my family has suffered from it like most people here.

Be a bit more careful with your jokes please.

I'm not trying to convert everyone to Suzo, I'm just trying to put up for them because it's all Happs here....

[leapinlew]

Now come on Level42. Put on a bit thicker skin. It was an obvious attempt at humor. Lets not make this a political correct zone...

Pac-man is yellow - Asians everywhere will have to deal with it
Rush'n Attack - the bad guys are Russian... or appear to be russian
Donkey Kong is in fact, a primate and not a donkey at all
Ms. Pac-man has a baby pac-man despite being a Ms. and not a Mrs.
Nurses continue to die from accidental shootings in Operation Wolf (NOoo!)

I don't think anyone intended to cause you any personal harm. It's all in good fun.

[Zakk]

So Hitler didn't like Suzos?

[Level42]

Had they excisted then, he probably would, because he liked things that could aim and hit quicker than anything else......

[Zakk]

Had they excisted then, he probably would, because he liked things that could aim and hit quicker than anything else......

So Germany would have been the suzos, and The allies would have been the Wicos?

[Vigo]

 
Well, I guess the wicos won WW2...

[jlfreund]

This one is funny:

http://www.wickedretarded.com/%7Ecrapmame/4.html

[Level42]

Good that someone dug this up again....I still had to add this one:

Fax

Tooke the picture myself couple of weeks ago while visiting Funspot, Weirs Beach, IMHO that place is heaven on earth for classic arcade game lovers. Go there if you haven't been !!! www.funspotnh.com

Anyway, here's the ugly Fax machine:

[Level42]

OK, let's vote about what we feel is the Ugliest Arcade Cab ever.

Although I didn't mention this in my first posting and in the thread subject, I was actualy meaning real arcade cabs that once were built by "factories", not home-built (MAME) cabs. Even though I know that maybe the ugliest cabs DO come from the home-build scene, I think these must be ruled out because there's very likely only one "copy" of them around. (which is a good thing considering their uglyness ).

Now, dedicated cabs, the one's with original artwork for that single game, are rarely really ugly. You can discuss about them, but each one, maybe in their cheesy 70/80's way, are all works of art IMHO.

So, the one's that stick are mostly the non-original cabs, the universal cabs that take a PCB and play that game, and were meant to be put in commercial service and were built at least in small series.

So I selected these contenders:

1) Wimi's Style Video Game

Strong points: Tries to look like a cupboard but still has flashy colors on the marquee and bezel.
Weak points: Those curly carves look like a lot of work went into it.

2) World-Cup '90

Strong points: Where do I begin, about everything is MEGA ugly about this. The "marquee" definitly gives it bonus points on the Ugly-scale !
Weak points: uhmmmmmm,uhmmmmmm......

3) Poly Play

Strong points: Ugly wood-grain, wrong dimensions, looks like a 70's cab, but is from 1985.
Weak points: well-built, blinking colored lights behind marquee (or should that be a strong point ?), looks great next to your Trabant

4) "Burgertime" NOT THE ORIGINAL OF COURSE, but the one listed in this thread !

Strong points: Ugly woodgrain, WRONG silhouette, what is that bezel ?
Weak points: It has the original Burgertime marquee of the DECO release (check KLOV.com). But then, that might be a cheap copy

5) Homerson 1942

Pro: Small like a candy cab, but WAY uglier because it's too wide compared to it's height. Has fruitmachine buttons.
Con: Suzo joysticks that look like they've been there ever since the cab came into operation, (look how shiny those handles are !) and they still work great...

6) Fax

Pro: Looks like a jukebox, but then one of the REALY ugly one's. Yugh, again fruitmachine buttons, bet then it's a quitz game....   And again, this is more wide than tall. What's that little black thing in the middle ? Oh, it's the CRT !!!
Con: It had some clever compression technology to cram as many as possible questions in the little amount of RAM they had in those days.


I'm sure there are many more ugly cabs around, but I think it'll be fun to see who will win. Should we send an award

I know what my personal favorite is

[Kevin Mullins]

4) "Burgertime" NOT THE ORIGINAL OF COURSE, but the one listed in this thread !

FYI
That actually IS the original Data East (DECO) Burgertime ...... before Bally Midway bought the rights to it. This was when burgertime and several others were still run on a cassette tape sytem known as DECO Cassette System.
http://www.klov.com/game_detail.php?letter=B&game_id=7239
http://www.klov.com/game_detail.php?letter=D&game_id=7479
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DECO_Cassette_System


They also used a smaller "better" looking cab which I have. (overall better style anyways)
Highly universal cabs as well.
Which I need to take a pic of and post on KLOV or something because I can't find one on the web anywhere.

But I did find a "modified" verison of it that might be a good candidate for the "UGLY Poll".



The Burgertime in your poll list got my vote for sure though. 

[grantspain]

that last pic brought back some memory's,when i first started work we had loads of those cabs-was'nt it one of the first systems to use cartidges(its a long time ago),anyway the games were rubbish and we ended up putting on electronic coin mechs and rewiring for our own pre-jamma universal edge connector but they still looked pants

[Level42]

Still, I think it's a beauty compared to the current leader in the poll

[RayB]

New contenders:
The "Nitendo" cab: Let's you play NES games on a timer (and includes a wonderful little viewing window displaying the NES inside).


Next up, something that looks like it was built by the Borg:

[grantspain]

that last one looks like its been in a fire,and you are correct the world cup 90 cab is really poo,it looks like it was knocked up in someone's shed

[AE35]

Uhmmmmm, for what it's worth. Don't know how they teach history at your place, but Hitler was German (actualy Austrian, but that was about the same at the time he ruled...)

Suzo is DUTCH. (Actualy DUTCH comes from Deutsch, which means German, but apparantly in the past English speaking people couldn't hear the difference between our language and German....this is already painful enough as it is.....)

The Netherlands were run-over and occupied for 5 years and my family has suffered from it like most people here.

Well said. People should know the most important conflict in history and who did what,
when and why. Holland is a very perfect example of a highly evolved country.

EDIT: Why IS Donkey Kong called a Donkey, anyway??

[RayB]

Im sure Wiki has the answer to that...

[Lutus]

Is that Hitler at the top of the Bezel/Marquee of the "Fax" machine?   

[saint]

Pretty sure it was a mistranslation from Japanese?

Well said. People should know the most important conflict in history and who did what,
when and why. Holland is a very perfect example of a highly evolved country.
EDIT: Why IS Donkey Kong called a Donkey, anyway??

[horseboy]

Pretty sure it was a mistranslation from Japanese?

Well said. People should know the most important conflict in history and who did what,
when and why. Holland is a very perfect example of a highly evolved country.
EDIT: Why IS Donkey Kong called a Donkey, anyway??

The story I read said that it was a bad fax from Japan. It was supposed to be Monkey King. M mistaken for a D and I mistaken for an O.

[RayB]

OK, fine I'll look it up... Here:

(From Wiki)
The name was chosen by game designer Shigeru Miyamoto as a combination of the word "Kong", since the movie King Kong had caused it 'to colloquially mean monkey' in Japan. According to Snopes, Donkey was chosen because Miyamoto intended it "to convey a sense of stubbornness." Various urban legends have circulated, saying that the actual name was to be "Monkey Kong" but was changed by accident for the American release. Snopes debunked these myths in "Donkey Wrong."

And the link to the snopes myth debunking:
http://www.snopes.com/business/misxlate/donkeykong.asp

[spacies]

Jeepers,

There is some ugly beasts in here! 

I think I have seen uglier in the project announcements though     

Come on, someone had to say it 

[johnm160]

I never saw that crap mame site before.

That has got to be one of the funniest sites on the web, I was laughing so hard I woke my daughter up.    

[shardian]

Just thought I would add this:

http://cgi.ebay.com/Pac-Gal-Arcade-Game-Ms-Pac-Man-Hack_W0QQitemZ260038819995QQihZ016QQcategoryZ13716QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

[RayB]

At least that's not painted black.

[Level42]

Well this has taken long enough, so the honerable winner of the Ugliest Cab Ever Contest is........

World-Cup '90

Although Fax and "Burgertime" were a close runner-up, the World-Cup '90 has everything it takes to deserve the title Ugliest Cab Ever:

- horable wood-syle boards which are way too thin and put together in all the wrong ways and places...
- a pick-up letter marquee...
- totaly wrong buttons...
- t-molding ? What IS that ?
- a general uglyness that is all over the cabinet, no "weak" spots to be found.

Congratulations, alas there's no prices in this contest except for eternal "fame"

Thanks for all contributing !!!