Author Topic: Curse or Blessing? (contains bacon) (Read 4046 times)

JoyMonkey · « **on:** August 22, 2005, 09:43:54 pm »

I woke up this morning at the usual unholy time of 5:30am. I took a shower, then I went to grab my coffee before leaving for work. On the way to the coffee maker something caught my eye that, sleepy as I was, immediately rose my onboard bacon alarm; THE DOOR OF MY FREEZER WAS OPEN!!!
I stood there in shock, then opened it slowly and watched as water poured out of the front of it. Being so early in the morning, I thought I'd just close it and pretend nothing had happened. But I couldn't leave it for more than a few seconds before checking to see what savory delights had come to an unfortunate end. I woke up my wife and told her. She started to cry. Yesterday we'd spent hours preparing food and had tried to stuff a little too much into the freezer. Let this be a warning to all of us!

The freezer was mostly full of bacon and pork related products imported from the farthest reachest of the earth. I thought it was all lost. Then I realised that this may well be the greatest thing ever to happen to my diet! This bacon would need to be cooked up for immediate consumption!

For the next week, I'll be living on pure bacon!

Here's some pork chops being prepared for broiling!

Here's what I had for desert today:

(those are english muffins with Austian rose-hip jam!)

Here we see some German sausage, American bacon, Irish bacon and Canadian bacon together in their natural habbitat:

Zakk · « **Reply #1 on:** August 23, 2005, 01:00:06 am »

I clogged an artery just looking at those pics. However, I lost 10 lbs in drool alone.

Pass the A1, we're going in!

(dammit it's 1am here, and I just GOTTA go fry up some sausage now. That outta wake the house...DAMN YOU!!!)

Ooops! Someone left the freezer door open!!

pointdablame · « **Reply #2 on:** August 23, 2005, 01:09:31 am »

Be honest now... you opened that freezer on purpose just so you could make this thread the next day... I'm on to you!!!

Sephroth57 · « **Reply #3 on:** August 23, 2005, 09:31:37 am »

dude.... im jealous. you should send me some bacon

ChadTower · « **Reply #4 on:** August 23, 2005, 09:40:32 am »

Seriously, there is a line at which there is too much bacon in too short a time. You'll end up puking it back up or worse, spattering it out.

Stingray · « **Reply #5 on:** August 23, 2005, 09:56:18 am »

I think my heart just exploded in my chest. Can we do it again?

-S

dogg0 · « **Reply #6 on:** August 23, 2005, 03:23:26 pm »

i think i just exploded in my pants...

ChadTower · « **Reply #7 on:** August 23, 2005, 04:26:41 pm »

That could mean so many things.

Stingray · « **Reply #8 on:** August 23, 2005, 04:27:46 pm »

Even I don't like bacon that much.

-S

Sephroth57 · « **Reply #9 on:** August 23, 2005, 04:28:08 pm »

so in other randomness, i convinced the chick im banging to get nipple rings. shes getting them done today, woot

ChadTower · « **Reply #10 on:** August 23, 2005, 04:29:03 pm »

I'm sure she is going to be thrilled that a thread about sausage, pork, bacon, and the resultant body processes from eating them in mass quantities, made you think about her.

dogg0 · « **Reply #11 on:** August 23, 2005, 04:29:51 pm »

Quote from: Sephroth57 on August 23, 2005, 04:28:08 pm

so in other randomness, i convinced the chick im banging to get nipple rings. shes getting them done today, woot

i think i just exploded.... [ok no more splooging]

Sephroth57 · « **Reply #12 on:** August 23, 2005, 04:33:45 pm »

Quote from: ChadTower on August 23, 2005, 04:29:03 pm

I'm sure she is going to be thrilled that a thread about sausage, pork, bacon, and the resultant body processes from eating them in mass quantities, made you think about her.

lmao, i dunno what made me think of her. its funny though ill be out in a restaurant and ill see a picture of bacon on a menu and im like damn i wish i had a cameraphone so i can take a pic of this for the forums. and shes like wtf, and yeah, she thinks u guys are weird

Stingray · « **Reply #13 on:** August 23, 2005, 04:36:59 pm »

Quote from: Sephroth57 on August 23, 2005, 04:33:45 pm

Quote from: ChadTower on August 23, 2005, 04:29:03 pm

I'm sure she is going to be thrilled that a thread about sausage, pork, bacon, and the resultant body processes from eating them in mass quantities, made you think about her.

lmao, i dunno what made me think of her. its funny though ill be out in a restaurant and ill see a picture of bacon on a menu and im like damn i wish i had a cameraphone so i can take a pic of this for the forums. and shes like wtf, and yeah, she thinks u guys are weird

Ask if you can take pictures of her nipple rings for us. If she doesn't think that's weird enough, ask if she minds being covered in raw bacon for the pic.

-S

ChadTower · « **Reply #14 on:** August 23, 2005, 04:38:23 pm »

Forget raw bacon, hang cooked strips from the rings.

Sephroth57 · « **Reply #15 on:** August 23, 2005, 04:40:20 pm »

chad, thats an awesome idea for breakfast in bed... lol

shes so whipped she might do it to

ChadTower · « **Reply #16 on:** August 23, 2005, 04:41:19 pm »

Now you know you gotta whip her with bacon, in the act, when she's, oh, say looking in the same direction you are.

dogg0 · « **Reply #17 on:** August 23, 2005, 04:41:41 pm »

thats sexy

ChadTower · « **Reply #18 on:** August 23, 2005, 04:42:35 pm »

"No, baby, I don't want you to lose 15lb. I need that to put my bacon on."

ChadTower · « **Reply #19 on:** August 23, 2005, 04:55:22 pm »

One more thought:

A tattoo of a strip of bacon right at the base of the back. Sexy.

Mrs Peale · « **Reply #20 on:** August 24, 2005, 10:25:21 am »

Chad-

I'll get that Tattoo if someone will pay off our credit card debt!!

ChadTower · « **Reply #21 on:** August 24, 2005, 10:28:03 am »

Quote from: Mrs Peale on August 24, 2005, 10:25:21 am

Chad-

I'll get that Tattoo if someone will pay off our credit card debt!!

Hrm. The issue, of course, would be access to the property.

Stingray · « **Reply #22 on:** August 24, 2005, 10:28:47 am »

Maybe we could take up a collection. I gots a nickle.

-S

ChadTower · « **Reply #23 on:** August 24, 2005, 10:29:41 am »

Peale's wife is worth more than a nickel.

Mrs Peale · « **Reply #24 on:** August 24, 2005, 10:31:34 am »

Thanks, Chad! Anyway, we would need like 500,000 nickels!

OK, Boys, start lookin for change in your sofas!

ChadTower · « **Reply #25 on:** August 24, 2005, 10:35:04 am »

Quote from: Mrs Peale on August 24, 2005, 10:31:34 am

Thanks, Chad! Anyway, we would need like 500,000 nickels!

OK, Boys, start lookin for change in your sofas!

Oh, well, if I have to change my sofa, no deal. I sleep on it half the time.

Mrs Peale · « **Reply #26 on:** August 24, 2005, 10:50:13 am »

Sleeping on the sofa must be a guy thing. Peale can fall asleep anywhere and sleeps on the sofa half the time.

I used to make him come to bed, now I just leave him there, all uncomfortable looking, while I have our whole bed to myself!

ChadTower · « **Reply #27 on:** August 24, 2005, 10:52:57 am »

Quote from: Mrs Peale on August 24, 2005, 10:50:13 am

Sleeping on the sofa must be a guy thing. Peale can fall asleep anywhere and sleeps on the sofa half the time.

I used to make him come to bed, now I just leave him there, all uncomfortable looking, while I have our whole bed to myself!

I sleep on the sofa half the time because I don't sleep well. I toss and turn all night. I don't see the sense in keeping my wife up all night when she has a long day of chasing two kids around ahead of her. I can stare at the ceiling above the sofa just as easily as I can the ceiling above the bed.

Stingray · « **Reply #28 on:** August 24, 2005, 11:10:23 am »

I fall asleep on the recliner just about every night. Mrs. Stingray still kindly wakes me and puts me to bed. Wonder how long I have before she starts leaving me there.

-S

ChadTower · « **Reply #29 on:** August 24, 2005, 11:12:08 am »

It will end the night you wake up and the person she put to be wasn't you.

Stingray · « **Reply #30 on:** August 24, 2005, 11:15:07 am »

Guess I'd better stop falling asleep in the recliner!

-S

Mrs Peale · « **Reply #31 on:** August 24, 2005, 11:16:36 am »

I tried for the last 6 years to wake him and get him to come to bed. The last time I did, he said 'Go away'. That was the end of that!

ChadTower · « **Reply #32 on:** August 24, 2005, 11:17:22 am »

Quote from: Mrs Peale on August 24, 2005, 11:16:36 am

I tried for the last 6 years to wake him and get him to come to bed. The last time I did, he said 'Go away'. That was the end of that!

Peale doesn't weigh much. Lift him up and carry him.

Mrs Peale · « **Reply #33 on:** August 24, 2005, 11:19:15 am »

Nah. I don't want him in bed THAT badly!

Stingray · « **Reply #34 on:** August 24, 2005, 11:20:20 am »

Quote from: Mrs Peale on August 24, 2005, 11:19:15 am

Nah. I don't want him in bed THAT badly!

ZING!

-S

ChadTower · « **Reply #35 on:** August 24, 2005, 11:22:30 am »

Ow.

I mean that.

pointdablame · « **Reply #36 on:** August 24, 2005, 11:26:46 am »

Quote from: Mrs Peale on August 24, 2005, 11:19:15 am

Nah. I don't want him in bed THAT badly!

if you had that bacon tattoo, I have a feeling you wouldn't be able to keep him OUT of the bedroom

ChadTower · « **Reply #37 on:** August 24, 2005, 11:27:22 am »

I tell you what... make that tattoo scratch and sniff and maybe we can work out a deal.

Mrs Peale · « **Reply #38 on:** August 24, 2005, 11:31:03 am »

Hmmm...let me think about that one...

Dogs are eager enough to smell people's butts!

pointdablame · « **Reply #39 on:** August 24, 2005, 11:31:34 am »

Quote from: Mrs Peale on August 24, 2005, 11:31:03 am

Hmmm...let me think about that one...

Dogs are eager enough to smell people's butts!

That is a very good point.

ChadTower · « **Reply #40 on:** August 24, 2005, 11:32:13 am »

Hey, if you have a nice enough behind, nearly anyone will sniff at it.

Sephroth57 · « **Reply #41 on:** August 24, 2005, 11:32:58 am »

scratch and sniff bacon tattoo... mmmmm

pointdablame · « **Reply #42 on:** August 24, 2005, 11:52:16 am »

Quote from: Sephroth57 on August 24, 2005, 11:32:58 am

scratch and sniff bacon tattoo... mmmmm

Stingray · « **Reply #43 on:** August 24, 2005, 12:17:42 pm »

Peale's gonna blow a gasket when he reads this thread.

-S

pointdablame · « **Reply #44 on:** August 24, 2005, 12:18:20 pm »

Quote from: Stingray on August 24, 2005, 12:17:42 pm

Peale's gonna blow a gasket when he reads this thread.

-S

Or bring Mrs. Peale to a tattoo shop

ChadTower · « **Reply #45 on:** August 24, 2005, 12:18:25 pm »

Bah, what is Peale gonna do, write us mediocre letters of recommendation?

pointdablame · « **Reply #46 on:** August 24, 2005, 12:18:58 pm »

Quote from: ChadTower on August 24, 2005, 12:18:25 pm

Bah, what is Peale gonna do, write us mediocre letters of recommendation?

yup... still funny

ChadTower · « **Reply #47 on:** August 24, 2005, 12:20:05 pm »

Yeah, don't think it has any more uses left in it, though.

Stingray · « **Reply #48 on:** August 24, 2005, 12:23:02 pm »

Quote from: ChadTower on August 24, 2005, 12:20:05 pm

Yeah, don't think it has any more uses left in it, though.

Maybe not today, but it'll be fresh as a daisy by Monday.

-S

SirPeale · « **Reply #49 on:** August 24, 2005, 07:02:24 pm »

Quote from: ChadTower on August 24, 2005, 12:18:25 pm

Bah, what is Peale gonna do, write us mediocre letters of recommendation?

Wife pointed out this comment, she didn't get it, I didn't either. What's it mean?

ChadTower · « **Reply #50 on:** August 24, 2005, 08:20:09 pm »

Origins here.

Stingray · « **Reply #51 on:** August 25, 2005, 09:15:12 am »

Still funny enough to produce a grin this morning.

-S


Main	Restorations	Software	Audio/Jukebox/MP3	Everything Else	Buy/Sell/Trade
Project Announcements	Monitor/Video	GroovyMAME	Merit/JVL Touchscreen	Meet Up	Retail Vendors
Driving & Racing	Woodworking	Software Support Forums	Consoles	Project Arcade	Reviews
Automated Projects	Artwork	Frontend Support Forums	Pinball	Forum Discussion	Old Boards
Raspberry Pi & Dev Board	controls.dat	Linux	Miscellaneous Arcade	Wiki Discussion	Old Archives
Lightguns	Arcade1Up	Try the site in https mode		Site News


Unread posts \| New Replies \| Recent posts \| Rules \| Chatroom \| Wiki \| File Repository \| RSS \| Submit news