It's the end of the world as I know it...

[JoyMonkey]

No, this isn't about the election. As it turns out, I'm getting married in about a week's time  

I'm havin a big WTF day today. The Bush re-eleciton had me freaking out, then I remembered that I should really be freaking out about the wedding. BIG WTF!

So whose got the encouraging words of advice for me? What am I supposed to be doing this close to the wedding? I'm sure there's something I should be doing...

 

WTF?

[whammoed]

Should be looking forward to your bachelor party.

[Crazy Cooter]

Drinking.

Just not so much that you don't remember what happened, because the misses will get worried.

"Wow honey, what a hangover.  I don't even remember what we did last night until 5 in the morning.  When we left the strip club..."  <-- Not a good conversation.

[JoyMonkey]

Should be looking forward to your bachelor party.

Nope. They're going to get me so f'd up it makes me feel sick just thinking about it. My fiancees insane cousin is planning it all over Vegas. All I know is I'll need at least one change of underwear.  
All my friends from Ireland are flying in though, thats something to look forward to.

[GGKoul]

Make sure the people you hired know all the details and have everything covered.  There should be no questions about setup and colours the day of the wedding.

Remember its HER day... she's been dreaming about her wedding since she was a little girl.  One thing, you can't control everything that happens during the day.  Just relax and enjoy the ride


I got married Aug/03 and you have to remember the following words:

- Yes Dear
- No you don't look fat
- Yes this taste good

In my case, the sex is better when your married.  

[Mr. Dude]

Congratulations man!  My word of advice is to make sure your future wife is calm and happy at this point in time... if she's happy you'll be happy!  

[abrannan]

So whose got the encouraging words of advice for me? What am I supposed to be doing this close to the wedding? I'm sure there's something I should be doing...

 

WTF?

Do the things I forgot to do.  Eat & sleep.  My wife went back home to prepare for the wedding a week in advance, leaving me to finish moving our stuff into a new apartment, while being two months into a new job.  I lost 7 pounds that week from stress.

[hulkster]

well in all seriousness.....do you have your honeymoon stuff planned?  plane tix, reservations for the resort (or wherever you are staying), if you are going out of the country make sure you have your passport or CERTIFIED copy of your birth cert. (not a copy).  just start going over preparations for after the wedding.  i mean, odds are she will know what to do for the actual wedding day, but after that she'll be all tired and want to leave everything else up to you!  so be prepared and dont suck.

[Crazy Cooter]

In my case, the sex is better when your married.  

That's because someone else is finally in the room with you.
HAHAHAHA.  You left yourself open on that one.

[GGKoul]

Should be looking forward to your bachelor party.

Here's my Bachelor Party story.

- Buddy's picked my up and took me out to Silicone Steakhouse..  
- Arrived at the party around 8pm and said HI to everyone there.  Cause I knew I wouldn't be able to do it afterwards.
- Had a computer tied to my leg as my ball-and-chain for the evening
- Had a few shots of some Greek Brandy
- Went up, said a speech.. and that's all I remember...

Woke up in the morning and I felt fine.  I spoke to my buddy and I told him "I feel fine and I don't remember acting a fool or being sick."  Thats when he started laughing and said... "I threw up around 10 times and had to get carried home"  They worse part was that they had a video of the whole night.  Which is good, because I don't remember a thing...

And here's what kinds of friends I have... whenever I fell, they started counting to 10... as if I was a boxer and was knockedout.  But I kept getting up...  

Maybe one day I'll send the video to America's Most Funniest Videos... I'll probably win the $10,000.

[GGKoul]

In my case, the sex is better when your married.  

That's because someone else is finally in the room with you.
HAHAHAHA.  You left yourself open on that one.

Touche....

[Goz]

Start working on your excuses as no matter happens, not even if you had nothing to do with it.... it's your fault.

This typically becomes the norm after the first year or two.

Congrats on the marriage.

-Goz

[JoyMonkey]

- Went up, said a speech.. and that's all I remember...

Ah sh*t, I didn't even think that I'd have to make a speech. I think I'll just let the booze talk for me.

[mr.Curmudgeon]

Congrats JoyMonkey!

Now for something curmudgeonly,
Marriage??? Why ruin a perfectly good friendship??  j/k

Best of luck, feel free to send invites to all us New England BYOAC'ers...especially if there's an open bar!!!

mrC

[Jabba]

Congrats!

My words of advice are temember one thing, A wife can be responsible for 90% of your happiness, or 90% of your displeasure....Treat her nice!

[tep0583]

No, this isn't about the election. As it turns out, I'm getting married in about a week's time  

I'm havin a big WTF day today. The Bush re-eleciton had me freaking out, then I remembered that I should really be freaking out about the wedding. BIG WTF!

So whose got the encouraging words of advice for me? What am I supposed to be doing this close to the wedding? I'm sure there's something I should be doing...

 

WTF?

Oh, sweet Jesus, no!

Warn a guy next time. I though this WAS a political thread, not a declaration of pure evil!

Run for the nearest border, arm yourself, and DO NOT ANSWER THE PHONE! It's your only chance!

(yeah, I was married....once)

Seriously, though, it might be too late, but you might want to check into her family's mental history. (My doctor told me that one, and he was serious) There's nothing like being married to a psycho to ruin the whole experience for you.

Barring any mental issues, just enjoy you last week of freedom. Double check all of your plans. Standard stuff.

Oh, and good luck, hopfully you won't need it.

[GGKoul]

Pre-nup?  

[RacerX]

You have my sympathy, JoyMonkey.  I don't know why you were worried about the outcome of the election.  You're about to install your own personal dictator.

Enjoy.  

Just kidding.  

Congrats, and enjoy the wedding festivities!

[SeaMonkey]

If it is the right one, then your life will be a blessing from the wedding day forward.

I love my wife very much, and she enriches my life every day.

May your happiness and joy be as deep as mine.

[DrewKaree]

Never forget you're the man.  If she doesn't want to listen to you, show her where the door is - she probably thought "I do" was the password and she's now a member of the club - set her straight from the get go and you won't ever have problems with her in the future.  Memorize this phrase - it'll serve you well in your many happy years of marriage - Don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya!



Ok, back to reality - perfect the art of butt smooching, and realize you WILL get yelled at on your wedding day for something by someone - it's your fault, after all, everyone wouldn't be there if you hadn't said anything  

Don't be afraid to open your mouth, even if you know it will piss her off - years down the road, when you explode in a rage because "you always do _____" she won't have a clue that it bugged the snot out of you....open your mouth, and open it often, it's the best defense against divorce.  I PROMISE you she won't be shy about opening hers!

Congrats....may it be everything you hope it to be, and a whole lot more.

[Crazy Cooter]

If it is the right one, then your life will be a blessing from the wedding day forward.

I love my wife very much, and she enriches my life every day.

May your happiness and joy be as deep as mine.

Why don't we have a smiley face that pukes?
j/k.

If she gets you really mad, kick her in the shin while she's asleep.  When you see her rubbing it in the morning it will put a smile on your face.  Besides, you get more room in the bed that way.  

[DrewKaree]

Why don't we have a smiley face that pukes?

we have one that is barely holding it back  

If she gets you really mad, kick her in the shin while she's asleep.  When you see her rubbing it in the morning it will put a smile on your face.  Besides, you get more room in the bed that way.  

   THAT is funny!

[SirPeale]

Why don't we have a smiley face that pukes?

Like that?  I admit, I hotlinked it from my site.

As for your wedding, JoyMonkey, I'll say this: I've been married for nearly six years now.  Six years, three houses and two and 1/2 kids later, I can say that the wedding?  It's just one day.  Remember, it's the marraige that's important.  You'll have to work on it.  It's hard work, but good work.  Work on it daily.

[danny_galaga]

don't do it!! forget the marriage, just have the batchelor party  

[Dexter]

All my friends from Ireland are flying in though, thats something to look forward to.

Have a good one chief! We're organising a stag week for my mate whose coming home from Australia to Dublin to get married. Its a throw up between Vegas, Amsterdam and Ibiza. Should be a howl, the blokes crazy.

All the very best of the future! Hoping to tie the knot myself in 2006. As you know its so expensive over here you need to plan it well in advance and save like a mofo.

[Magnet_Eye]

i just like to go to the strip clubs and tell them its my bachelor party...even though i am not engaged to anyone. you get better, um, service that way.  


good luck with the marriage!  

[missioncontrol]

So whose got the encouraging words of advice for me? What am I supposed to be doing this close to the wedding? I'm sure there's something I should be doing...

my advice: run...run far away and don't look back  

just kidding someone had to say it

good luck and congrats

[JoyMonkey]

Thanks for all the comments, I think everything's going pretty smoothly. We fly to Vegas in the morning and the ceremony is on Saturday (sorry, no webcam). I've been all retardedly happy for the last few days; sort of like a kid at Christmas, I'm really looking forward to it!

I'll be back in a couple of weeks, right now I'm off to walk the plank.

Paul.  

[GGKoul]

Thanks for all the comments, I think everything's going pretty smoothly. We fly to Vegas in the morning and the ceremony is on Saturday (sorry, no webcam). I've been all retardedly happy for the last few days; sort of like a kid at Christmas, I'm really looking forward to it!

I'll be back in a couple of weeks, right now I'm off to walk the plank.

Paul.  

We want pictures!

[PacManFan]

Thanks for all the comments, I think everything's going pretty smoothly. We fly to Vegas in the morning and the ceremony is on Saturday (sorry, no webcam). I've been all retardedly happy for the last few days; sort of like a kid at Christmas, I'm really looking forward to it!

I'll be back in a couple of weeks, right now I'm off to walk the plank.

Paul.  

Good luck JoyMonkey, I wish you the best.

-PMF

[fredster]

Good Luck JoyMonkey.