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Main => Everything Else => Topic started by: Stingray on November 08, 2005, 06:33:46 pm

Title: My dog is an alcoholic cleptomaniac - Stingray's drunk post
Post by: Stingray on November 08, 2005, 06:33:46 pm
So here I am, minding my own bidniss, having myself a few post-work frosty ones. I'm out on the porch, enjoying the nice peacful wilderness where I live, reach down for a drink. Beer not there. Oh no! BEER NOT THERE! I look off into the woods and see my beer...

(http://www.stingraysmadness.com/photohosting/albums/userpics/10001/boomerbrau.jpg)

The dog in the picture is lucky for two reasons.
1) I'm already pretty skuppered.
2) I have quite a lot more beer in the fridge.
I'll let her live.

-S
Title: Re: My dog is an alcoholic cleptomaniac - Stingray's drunk post
Post by: Bones on November 08, 2005, 06:44:47 pm
If you look really carefully you can see Stingray crying in the bottles reflection.
Title: Re: My dog is an alcoholic cleptomaniac - Stingray's drunk post
Post by: Ed_McCarron on November 08, 2005, 07:03:47 pm
Its almost like a running joke...

(http://mywebpages.comcast.net/emccarron2/tronguy_mk2.jpg)
Title: Re: My dog is an alcoholic cleptomaniac - Stingray's drunk post
Post by: missioncontrol on November 08, 2005, 11:40:09 pm
a real dog wouldn't pass out after 1 beer  ::)
Title: Re: My dog is an alcoholic cleptomaniac - Stingray's drunk post
Post by: Stingray on November 09, 2005, 08:31:12 am
Its almost like a running joke...


Nice one! :)

MC- She was far from passed out. I wish I would have had a video camera. She was trying really hard to keep the open end of the bottle in her mouth. The bottle kept spinning away from her, and she kept scooting around on the ground after it. I just hope she managed to drink it instead of spilling it on the ground. :D

-S
Title: Re: My dog is an alcoholic cleptomaniac - Stingray's drunk post
Post by: missioncontrol on November 09, 2005, 10:23:34 am
well on that case "good dog"
Title: Re: My dog is an alcoholic cleptomaniac - Stingray's drunk post
Post by: Stingray on November 09, 2005, 10:30:57 am
She shoulda just asked for her own. I learned a valuable lesson about setting a beer down on the deck last night. :)

-S
Title: Re: My dog is an alcoholic cleptomaniac - Stingray's drunk post
Post by: missioncontrol on November 09, 2005, 10:34:20 am
your own fult never leave an opened beer laying around..

that's why you have two hands. one for the beer and the other to do whatever else needs to be done. and if it is a job that requires two hands then you call a buddy and have him bring more beer.
Title: Re: My dog is an alcoholic cleptomaniac - Stingray's drunk post
Post by: Stingray on November 09, 2005, 10:37:39 am
If only there were some kind of device that has a flat platform to set things on, and legs to elevate those things to an altitude that would be unreachable by canines. Some day technology will catch up to my vision.

-S
Title: Re: My dog is an alcoholic cleptomaniac - Stingray's drunk post
Post by: missioncontrol on November 09, 2005, 10:39:03 am
no that's just crazy talk there
Title: Re: My dog is an alcoholic cleptomaniac - Stingray's drunk post
Post by: ChadTower on November 09, 2005, 10:47:38 am

Put the beer in your beer pocket.

Duh.
Title: Re: My dog is an alcoholic cleptomaniac - Stingray's drunk post
Post by: missioncontrol on November 09, 2005, 10:50:09 am

Put the beer in your beer pocket.


but that's where I keep the second one so that I don't have to make another trip to the fridge
Title: Re: My dog is an alcoholic cleptomaniac - Stingray's drunk post
Post by: Stingray on November 09, 2005, 10:51:25 am
Quote
Put the beer in your beer pocket.

Brilliant!

(http://americasoutback.typepad.com/blog/images/brilliant.jpg)

-S
Title: Re: My dog is an alcoholic cleptomaniac - Stingray's drunk post
Post by: ChadTower on November 09, 2005, 11:08:22 am
but that's where I keep the second one so that I don't have to make another trip to the fridge

The beer pocket is versatile.  You use it differently than I do.

Title: Re: My dog is an alcoholic cleptomaniac - Stingray's drunk post
Post by: missioncontrol on November 09, 2005, 11:13:09 am
mine didn't come with instructions
Title: Re: My dog is an alcoholic cleptomaniac - Stingray's drunk post
Post by: Stingray on November 09, 2005, 11:19:29 am
Somebody start a BYO Beer Pocket thread. I'm too cheap to buy one.

-S
Title: Re: My dog is an alcoholic cleptomaniac - Stingray's drunk post
Post by: ChadTower on November 09, 2005, 11:20:25 am

If you need instructions on how to use your beer pocket then you do not need a beer pocket.

I buy pants with built in beer pockets.  If your jeans do not have pockets big enough in which to store a beer bottle, you are wearing the wrong jeans.
Title: Re: My dog is an alcoholic cleptomaniac - Stingray's drunk post
Post by: Stingray on November 09, 2005, 11:22:03 am
And all this time I thought you were just glad to see me.

-S
Title: Re: My dog is an alcoholic cleptomaniac - Stingray's drunk post
Post by: missioncontrol on November 09, 2005, 11:22:38 am
I didn't say I didn't know how to use one I just said that mine didn't come with instructions so that is why I use my beer holder differently than you
Title: Re: My dog is an alcoholic cleptomaniac - Stingray's drunk post
Post by: ChadTower on November 09, 2005, 11:23:53 am
I didn't say I didn't know how to use one I just said that mine didn't come with instructions so that is why I use my beer holder differently than you

But, you are not using it incorrectly.  Different is not incorrect in this case.
Title: Re: My dog is an alcoholic cleptomaniac - Stingray's drunk post
Post by: missioncontrol on November 09, 2005, 11:24:59 am
I would think placing an open beer in the beer pocket and risking the chance of spilling it incorect usage
Title: Re: My dog is an alcoholic cleptomaniac - Stingray's drunk post
Post by: Stingray on November 09, 2005, 11:30:17 am
Probably for the best to put the beer in the pocket in it's full upright position.

-S
Title: Re: My dog is an alcoholic cleptomaniac - Stingray's drunk post
Post by: ChadTower on November 09, 2005, 11:40:22 am

Yes, once skilled, you can place an open beer bottle into the pocket and do most normal tasks without fear of spillage.

Of course, oftentimes, the action of last resort should be the action of first resort, which is to finish the beer before undertaking any task that requires putting the beer down.  Then you can place an unopened beer into the beer pocket without risk of a spill.
Title: Re: My dog is an alcoholic cleptomaniac - Stingray's drunk post
Post by: missioncontrol on November 09, 2005, 11:42:45 am
I find it easier just to drink and avoid working
Title: Re: My dog is an alcoholic cleptomaniac - Stingray's drunk post
Post by: ChadTower on November 09, 2005, 11:44:31 am

I'm not talking about work.  Sometimes, things require you to put your beer down.

Examples:

A woman has two boobs.  This should require two hands.

Some sandwiches are large enough for two hands.

A wiffle bat is best used with two hands.
Title: Re: My dog is an alcoholic cleptomaniac - Stingray's drunk post
Post by: whammoed on November 09, 2005, 11:47:18 am
I said beer pocket, not meat pocket you jackass! :o
Title: Re: My dog is an alcoholic cleptomaniac - Stingray's drunk post
Post by: ChadTower on November 09, 2005, 11:50:16 am

It usually takes two hands to choke a guy.
Title: Re: My dog is an alcoholic cleptomaniac - Stingray's drunk post
Post by: Stingray on November 09, 2005, 11:52:56 am
It takes both hands to get your beer back from a drunk dog.

-S
Title: Re: My dog is an alcoholic cleptomaniac - Stingray's drunk post
Post by: ChadTower on November 09, 2005, 11:54:15 am

If the dog stole your beer, how hard is it to get a beer from a dead dog?
Title: Re: My dog is an alcoholic cleptomaniac - Stingray's drunk post
Post by: Stingray on November 09, 2005, 11:58:10 am
Is this a zombie dog, or just a regular dead dog?

-S
Title: Re: My dog is an alcoholic cleptomaniac - Stingray's drunk post
Post by: ChadTower on November 09, 2005, 11:58:47 am

It stole your beer.

It should be killed, reanimated, then killed again as an object lesson.
Title: Re: My dog is an alcoholic cleptomaniac - Stingray's drunk post
Post by: whammoed on November 09, 2005, 11:59:39 am
Is this a zombie dog, or just a regular dead dog?

-S
Homosexual Zombie dog with rabies....and bad gas.
Title: Re: My dog is an alcoholic cleptomaniac - Stingray's drunk post
Post by: Stingray on November 09, 2005, 12:01:01 pm

Homosexual Zombie dog ....

You forgot NTTAWWT.

-S
Title: Re: My dog is an alcoholic cleptomaniac - Stingray's drunk post
Post by: whammoed on November 09, 2005, 12:08:45 pm

Homosexual Zombie dog ....

You forgot NTTAWWT.

-S
You think theres nothing wrong with zombie dog beer farts?  Ich. :-X
Title: Re: My dog is an alcoholic cleptomaniac - Stingray's drunk post
Post by: Stingray on November 09, 2005, 12:12:59 pm
Well, I'm pretty open minded. :D

-S
Title: Re: My dog is an alcoholic cleptomaniac - Stingray's drunk post
Post by: missioncontrol on November 09, 2005, 12:59:25 pm

A wiffle bat is best used with two hands.

isn't a wiffle bat made of plasic? couldn't you swing it with one hand
Title: Re: My dog is an alcoholic cleptomaniac - Stingray's drunk post
Post by: ChadTower on November 09, 2005, 01:08:16 pm

...best...used...
Title: Re: My dog is an alcoholic cleptomaniac - Stingray's drunk post
Post by: Luxury on November 09, 2005, 01:32:05 pm
Primitives.
Title: Re: My dog is an alcoholic cleptomaniac - Stingray's drunk post
Post by: ChadTower on November 09, 2005, 01:33:34 pm

Pfft, those are for people who simply can't do it right without help.
Title: Re: My dog is an alcoholic cleptomaniac - Stingray's drunk post
Post by: missioncontrol on November 10, 2005, 01:34:50 am
the only time you should set your beer down is right after you say "hey ya'll watch this"
Title: Re: My dog is an alcoholic cleptomaniac - Stingray's drunk post
Post by: Bones on November 10, 2005, 01:59:11 am
the only time you should set your beer down is right after you say "hey ya'll watch this"
Some years ago I had two strippers come to my place before heading off to a bucks night. They did some interesting stuff with a beer bottle.

This is another acceptable reason to put your beer down and come to think of it, one of them might have said "hey ya'll watch this".
Title: Re: My dog is an alcoholic cleptomaniac - Stingray's drunk post
Post by: Franco on November 10, 2005, 03:18:52 am
Got one of these free yesterday. Perfect for taking four chilled ones down the park etc.

(http://i23.ebayimg.com/02/i/05/0a/93/18_1_b.JPG)
Title: Re: My dog is an alcoholic cleptomaniac - Stingray's drunk post
Post by: missioncontrol on November 10, 2005, 04:10:06 am

Some years ago I had two strippers come to my place before heading off to a bucks night. They did some interesting stuff with a beer bottle.

reminds me of time I was in Thailand, yep those strippers in the clubs did some very intersting things with bottles.

on of them even opened up a bottle with her  :o........
Title: Re: My dog is an alcoholic cleptomaniac - Stingray's drunk post
Post by: Stingray on November 10, 2005, 09:24:18 am
Got one of these free yesterday. Perfect for taking four chilled ones down the park etc.

(http://i23.ebayimg.com/02/i/05/0a/93/18_1_b.JPG)

From now on, I'm taking one of those with me when I venture out on the porch. You never know when your beer supply may be assaulted by bandits.

-S
Title: Re: My dog is an alcoholic cleptomaniac - Stingray's drunk post
Post by: ChadTower on November 10, 2005, 09:45:28 am
the only time you should set your beer down is right after you say "hey ya'll watch this"

If I ever said "hey y'all" the people around me would kill me before I did anything anyway.
Title: Re: My dog is an alcoholic cleptomaniac - Stingray's drunk post
Post by: ChadTower on November 10, 2005, 09:46:31 am
From now on, I'm taking one of those with me when I venture out on the porch. You never know when your beer supply may be assaulted by bandits.

Up here, you'll get a nice little visit by the Police saying "PUT THE SHOTGUN DOWN AND BACK AWAY SLOWLY, SIR".
Title: Re: My dog is an alcoholic cleptomaniac - Stingray's drunk post
Post by: Stingray on November 10, 2005, 09:48:12 am
Down here, if'n you ain't walkin' around with a shotgun, the po-lice wonder what y'all been gettin' up to.

-S
Title: Re: My dog is an alcoholic cleptomaniac - Stingray's drunk post
Post by: ChadTower on November 10, 2005, 09:50:49 am

Well, remember, we aren't allowed to do anything here.  I got pulled over once and had a pool cue, in a case like that, in my back seat.  The Officer made me get out of my car and open the case to prove it wasn't a gun.  Not sure what he would have done had it been a gun, but he sure as hell wanted to know whether or not it was before he was letting me go anywhere.
Title: Re: My dog is an alcoholic cleptomaniac - Stingray's drunk post
Post by: Stingray on November 10, 2005, 09:54:58 am
People drive around with a shotgun in the back window of their pickup here. I'm pretty sure that it's legal to have a gun in the car provided it's unloaded and not concealed. However, you can get a licence to carry a concealed (and loaded) handgun by taking a two week course.

-S
Title: Re: My dog is an alcoholic cleptomaniac - Stingray's drunk post
Post by: missioncontrol on November 10, 2005, 10:46:03 am
depending on the season people around here carry either a gun or, a gun and a bow, or  a gun and a muzzel loader or, several guns
Title: Re: My dog is an alcoholic cleptomaniac - Stingray's drunk post
Post by: Stingray on November 10, 2005, 11:01:49 am
If I didn't have this gun, the King of England could just walk in here anytime he wants and start shoving you around. --Homer Simpson

-S