Build Your Own Arcade Controls Forum
Main => Everything Else => Topic started by: Shredder1 on May 03, 2005, 03:43:29 pm
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I've tried a few date sites, unfortuantly almost all of them have you sign up for a free account before you can begin searching, so I can't even remember wich ones I've tried.
But so far I've been sticking with Yahoo! Personals. They seem to have the best choice of women out of the others, and I've emailed 8 local women so far to see who writes back. I'll give it three weeks before I do another search if no one rights back.
Has anyone tried online dating before and had any success with it? I'm to shy to mingle on the dating scene and I'm not one to get the guts to ask someone I've never met before out IRL.
Just curious.
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Never had to try it. But I know 2 couples that met online and are now married.
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I tried it. Went on a couple dates, we had some fun.
Then my wife found out, now we're getting divorced.
(no, I haven't really tried it)
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If you do meet someone, like people suggest for blind dates, meet somewhere other than either person's living quarters for the first meet.
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Two things.
I have had two friends that tried (eharmony?) Neither got married but they both had fun and met good people who they dated for a while.
Second never expose your massive sex toy collection until date 3.
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Yeah, if I do meet someone, I'll mention meeting at a local McDonalds or something, some place I know how to get to. Ain't I a romantic? ;)
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I tried it.
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In my area, Comcast just came out with "Dating on Demand". It's like a video dating service only you watch the videos through your digital cable box, on demand.
I wonder if that would be considered "online dating"?
-sab
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I've done it. These days it's considered pretty common and better than the bar scene. So don't be apprehensive. It's not for "desperate people" anymore. (And just think, by the time today's "IM" and "text messaging" generation reaches adulthood, hooking up via the net will probably be as common as sliced bread).
You'll still encounter your share of desperados and rejects, but use your head and weed em out if you sense anything "off".
If you don't like kids there's a group called "No Kidding".
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I never have (I don't think wife would approve)
but I know a few people who did and they seemed to like it...........
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http://www.mmodating.com/
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I know about half a dozen people who have tried it. All of them had positive experiences (one marriage).
I'm not single, but if I were that would be the route I would go.
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I suggest www.hotornot.com . Seriously. Most of the people are on there just for fun so you have a huge selection. I've met lots of great people from all over, but you can narrow it down to your area if you want.
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You need to realize the online ratio of men to women is something like 100 to 1. That means for every 1 possible connection a man gets, a women gets 100. This is not bunk, I have herd from more than one female friend that uses match.com that they can get 75-100 emails a night! Maybe it depends on the area you live (I'm in the SF Bay Area) but with odds like that, you are better off meeting people in real life.
I've also herd of male friends spamming all females located within 10 miles of their zip code just to try and increase their chance for getting a date...its that bad.
I eventually used the tried and true method of making as many female friends as possible, and then asking them to hook me up with single friends they know. Your chances are much better when you get a direct referal. ;D I met my current GF this way, and we have been together for over a year now.
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i met my current "hookup chick" through www.myspace.com , although i know a couple people seriously dating now through it.
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....uh, wait a sec....I thought this was a web dating service!....no wonder people keep sending me junk about arcade cabinets.
sigh.
:P :-*
MameMaster! 8)
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Online dating works well if you are female. If you are male, then forget about it. I have maintained ads for years without ever getting a response other than porn spam. I haven't gotten a reply from anyone since 1997.
If you are a guy do ANYTHING else, asking out random girls in the street will net you a better success ratio than online dating will.
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I typically get 1 response back for every 4 I send. This goes for match.com and yahoo personals.
My Eharmony success rate is nearly 100%, but it has its own drawbacks. You don't get the option to browse. You get matched up against people. The majority of girls don't have pictures or reserve the right to show their picture at a later date (total cop-out).
I like the fact that if yu see someone online on yahoo personals, you can chat with them on the spot.
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Hee hee, I just decided to browse the yahoo personals again for kicks, second match is a girl I have known for 10 years! ;D
Edit
OMG!
7th match is ANOTHER girl I have known just as long.
Girl number one has seriously dated like half my friends, girl number 2 is the on-again off again girlfriend of one of my other friends.
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Other problems I have seen to notice is that most of the ads from women tend to fall into one of the following categories.
Category 1: "My standards are too high".
Category 2: "There is absolutely no reason I need this ad."
Category 3: "I combine overweight and unnattractive in new and interesting ways".
Category #1. Women in this category very simply have artifically high standards. The men that meet those standards are those least likely to be browsing the personal ads. Lets face it if you are a super hot, 25 year old stud who is built like a greek god and makes $50,000-$75,000 a year (and meets all her personality requirements), then you aren't gonna be looking at the ad in the first place.
Category #2. Most category 2 people are also either category 1 people, or are just dense. Category 2 people don't need the ad at all. This includes all girls who are college students, all women who are really good looking, and anyone who describes their bar or party scene.
Category #3. These might truly be nice girls, but I know, and you know, and everybody else knows that we aren't going to pick them out of a photo lineup. I am fairly open minded about such things, having dated plenty of heavier women, etc, but I just like everyone else pass these ads right on up. Real life would actually serve these women better then trying for internet dates. At least in real life they have a chance to let their other qualities shine.
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I'm telling you... go to www.hotornotcom
Add a "meet me" profile. There are tons of women because, like me, they didn't go there initially for the dating service. But once there it's like, what the hell?
And it's impossible to be on hot or not without a picture. It may nut be a real picture of the person, but there will be a pic.
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No fat chicks.
There, that's my add. You can run with that if you want....
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I suspect most of the women start and mostly finish their searches based on the guy's job title and/or income bracket. Change your income bracket to $80k/year and see what happens.
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Met my current GF on yahoo.. been together 2 years..
good times..
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I admit, I put myself on hot or not about 4 or 5 years ago(please don't beat me with your keyboard). it was pretty lame. But i got talking to a whole bunch of women that way.
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Hor or Not is defintely fun and was the novel thing when it first came out. I've used it more as a "joke" site than anything else though... posting pictures of myself in less-than-attractive poses, just to see what kind of rating I would get. Fun stuff.
I've met a couple women that way, one of which was.. uhmm.. not what she seemed in her picture!
Hot or Not is cool, but like any other online dating service be wary! :)
-sab
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I had one really good black and white picture I took of myself shirtless on the thinnest day of my life (I weighed in at 190 that day, my usual adult weight has been 240), that picture was like an 8 on hotornot, but the only problem was that it wasn't me. Well it was me, but not really, I'm not an 8, that picture sure is, but I'm not!
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I saw that picture and gave you a 10, you sexy hunk-a man meat!
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My buddy uses http://www.facethejury.com/
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THe problem with me and the local scene is that I'm way too shy to ask someone out. THat, and I usually meet the hot chicks at their work place. For instance, a cute lady at a bagel store I go to reminds me of one of my highschool friends that I liked, and the other works at a chinese resteraunt, and I doubt it would be polite to ask them out at their work place.
Plus, how would one know if they are interested? I guess for now I'll try my luck with online dating :).
But I never thought of the Guy to Girl ratio aspect before, and the chances of getting a reply back from one of the ladies I've written is probably not good, even if they like the picture I sent in :) .
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If you haven't met your wife by the end of college (or HS if you don't go to college), it's going to be a LOT harder afterwards.
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That's what I figured during highschool. If I didn't find a girlfriend there, or in the small portion of college I went to, I'd be way to shy to do it later. And so far that seems to be true...
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THe problem with me and the local scene is that I'm way too shy to ask someone out. THat, and I usually meet the hot chicks at their work place. For instance, a cute lady at a bagel store I go to reminds me of one of my highschool friends that I liked, and the other works at a chinese resteraunt, and I doubt it would be polite to ask them out at their work place.
Plus, how would one know if they are interested? I guess for now I'll try my luck with online dating :).
But I never thought of the Guy to Girl ratio aspect before, and the chances of getting a reply back from one of the ladies I've written is probably not good, even if they like the picture I sent in :) .
You and a gigantic teeming pool of other men. Too shy to ask out girls, so you try it on the computer, and you outnumber THEM 100ish to 1. Numberically if you check the websites it is only like 5 or 6 to one, but realize that the majority of the women listing the ads are doing so on a lark, or because they just broke up yesterday, etc, or they have impossibly high standards. While most of the men listing the ads are serious.
Also, don't ask out the girl working at the bagel shop, ask out the girl sitting in the bagel shop. Big difference, generally don't ask out women while they are at work, lots of guys do it, some women get almost overwhelmed with it (one girl I work with who is like 21 or 22, sort of cute and slightly chubby gets hit on at work CONSTANTLY, something about her says "here is a girl I would have a chance with", so she gets hit on even more than the thinner prettier girls).
Actually, I should drill some of that last paragraph into my own head, I literally sort women into physical categories of "Too pretty for me, out of my league", "I don't want her, you can have her, she's too fat for me", and "Best I could hope for".
The "Best I could hope fors" are not all that common, and that is all I ever bother to look at. Line up 20 single women and I will likely immediately rule out 10 of them as "too pretty" 3 as "too slutty looking", 3 of them as "Nothing wrong with her, just doesn't do it for me", 3 of them as "below even MY standards", leaving one "best I could hope for".
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THe problem with me and the local scene is that I'm way too shy to ask someone out.
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Having standards or saying this person is too high for me or below me is wrong.
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One other problem I have noticed that I personally have is this. I dated high school girls from age 15 to about age 20. At age 21 I switched to dating girls barely out of high school. I pretty much stopped dating altogether at age 23. Now I am pushing 28 and women my own age just seem terribly old looking to me. When browsing the personal ads I keep finding myself looking at all the little 19 year old pixiefaerie girls rather than actual women (not the hot ones so much as the ones that still have that youthful "cute" look).
Of course in person those girls seem like little girls and I have little interest in most of them once I actually talk to them (MOST, every once in a while I'll meet one that holds my interest, but nothing ever comes of it).
When I look at the women MY age all I can think is "She looks 35", or "I couldn't touch those standards with a ten foot pole". I guess I have almost backed myself in a corner, wanting a girl who looks like a 19 year old little pixiefaerie, with the maturity of a girl my age, combined with low standards (if a woman has high standards in traditional areas then it is guaranteed I pretty much won't meet any of them).
Also, for Shredder1, if you REALLY want to get over your fear of women/shyness, then pick a woman you know who is inaccessable. Pick one who is inaccessable for emotional reasons and not for "out of your league" reasons. Then pursue her hardcore for a while. If I got anything out my my "relationship" with a certain emotionally distant girl I recently spent 2 years on is that I totally lost that shyness. I rarely ever ask anyone out, but it is more because I never see anyone I would actually ask out (self imposed standards, that women must meet, but not exceed!!!).
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Here's a good personal add.. feel free to use it.
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I've dated tens and I've dated fives... honestly, the 7-8 who is a normal human being is the best. Tens are mental and fives are too needy.
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I usually date 5's, but I was lucky enough to find a *normal* 10!
(okay hunny, can we have sex now?)
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Pick one who is inaccessable for emotional reasons... Then pursue her hardcore for a while.
[cough]stalker[/cough]
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Here's something else to consider..
Here's my pic..
(http://www.ninjaturtlesnetwork.com/menu/pic.jpg)
I forgot to shave, and need to get a haircut, and took a shabby pic of myself, but uploaded the picture anyway...
And here's the picture of a girl I wrote...
personals.yahoo.com link (http://personals.yahoo.com/us/preview/view?index=1&id=personals-1109021704-492058&done=http%3A%2F%2Fpersonals.yahoo.com%2Fus%2Fpreview%2Fpreview%3Fsavedads%3D1%26detailnp%3D1%26noedit%3D1%26total%3D10%26position%3D9%26most_recent_last%3D)
The lady above, or the lady below,
personals.yahoo.com link (http://personals.yahoo.com/us/preview/view?index=3&id=personals-1108400049-885701&done=http%3A%2F%2Fpersonals.yahoo.com%2Fus%2Fpreview%2Fpreview%3Fsavedads%3D1%26detailnp%3D1%26noedit%3D1%26total%3D10%26position%3D8%26most_recent_last%3D)
is the type of...look in a girl that I go for. That cute, girl next door type who likes movies and Technology :). The first one is in the 10 category that I probably have no chance with, but figured it was worth a shot. Us shy types tend to stick together :). The second is in the 7 category who I think would take the time to write back to me, and definetly looks cute. Lets hope one of the 8 I've written does :)..
If not, time to go searching again in a month :).
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Yeah, if you don't even make the effort to put up a flattering photo, they're just going to write you off without reading what you wrote. Laziness is not a turnon.
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I forgot to shave, and need to get a haircut, and took a shabby pic of myself, but uploaded the picture anyway...
Please tell me your not using that pic as your Yahoo pic?
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Now I am pushing 28 and women my own age just seem terribly old looking to me. When browsing the personal ads I keep finding myself looking at all the little 19 year old pixiefaerie girls rather than actual women
Dude, you got a problem. 19 year old girls haven't done it for me since I was about 16.
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Unfortunatly, I am. I just don't take good pictures, and I make sure to mention that in the note. I just updated it with a clean shaven, better combed hair picture, but it still didn't look that great.
I also uploaded this picture, http://www.ninjaturtlesnetwork.com/menu/pic2.jpg wich turned out a little better, but still not great.
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do you have a pic where you are dress up a bit and you have a haircut?
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Well, I do have a prom pic of me in a tux, but I was so uncomfortable in the thing that I wasn't smiling when the picture was took. Plus it also shows a bit of gut.
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If you don't try it won't work. The picture clear says 1000 words, all of which are variations of "leave me alone - I don't really want the risk of being hurt"
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dude you have to purposely like look all nice and neat and stuff just for this pic. put some effort into it, think about it people take one glance at your pic and decide whether or not to pass over it or read more. that picture is everything
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Well, that being said, here's pic 3
http://www.ninjaturtlesnetwork.com/menu/pic3.jpg
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i cant even make out your face, blurry =\
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give itr a refresh, I just scanned it in. Digital picture didn't come out too well..
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That is the other dating photo failure method: an obviously very old photo from when you were thin. Seen it way too many times.
Browsing dating sites is good fun, even if you're not looking.
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yeah like i said, dont be lazy and post an old pic. we all know some women can throw on a tanktop and look hot. but with the 10 to 1 ratio on these sites, u gotta be pimpish. go get a haircut, shave, etc. have your friend take a pic for u
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Haircut is getting done today. I guess I could use a pic that will get taken laster this month. That'll be a proffesional picture at a convention done by a proffesional photographer, rather than a quick snapshot..
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I wish you luck
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I never have been to a date sight. or chat room.
I know a bunch of girls here in KY. have just up and quit there jobs and took off to be with there chat friend .
Father in law has meet 3 ladies from one sight. All were looking for a sugar daddy. no kidding.
all 3 ladies tried to get us out of the picture ( My wife (his daughter) and my 2 girls) really strange ladies :o
but if you think about it. 72 years old and in 1st month he had like 20 replies. and hooked up with 3
I guess it is were you live.
my advice is ... clean up... ( dress up like you were going some place nice)
(church clothes) try walmart for Pics. $8.00 and you get a floppy. let the pros take the pic.
try the chat rooms. I never have ( very happy being married) I meet my wife at the flee market in AZ.
Jan will be 16 years
good luck
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:o ;D :-X ??? ;)
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I know a bunch of girls here in KY.
How deep? Up to their waists, or higher still? Probably makes it easy to pick 'em up since they can't run through that stuff easily
$8.00 and you get a floppy.
I'm pretty sure guys are taking Viagra to AVOID that problem. Why would you want to PAY to continue to KEEP that problem?
I meet my wife at the flee market in AZ.
Evidently she didn't get the instructions or was used to going to the "stay right here until a guy comes along and takes you hostage for life" market
I'm so sorry dawayne, I just couldn't hep mahsef after reading your post. I hope ya get a laff outta those brudder! ;D
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I guess it is were you live.
my advice is ... clean up... ( dress up like you were going some place nice)
(church clothes) try walmart for Pics. $8.00 and you get a floppy. let the pros take the pic.
Good advice...But one more thing...SMILE!!!
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drew.
LOL
nope I am not thin skined. ;D
had to quit the viagra to mush $$$$
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I dont think him having a smile on will do much, if i may be so bold as to say "its not looking good"
I wouldnt post anymore pics and get by on your personality if possible.
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That attitude unfortunalty won't get him any further either...The idea here being to MEET a woman....He won't be able to hide behind a smiley forever. <Not to talk about you in the 3rd person Shredder1>
Seriously...First impressions Can and often do make or break a relationship...Learning how to be comfortable with people in public<and looking like your comfortable, will make a big difference.
Keep your stick on the ice ;)
Xar256 ;D
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Keep your stick on the ice ;)
Xar, is that just the "BYOAC" version of $8 for a "floppy"? ;D
Shredder, confidence is what you require. No one can teach that to you, it can only come through putting yourself out there, finding out how much good/bad stuff you can handle regarding yourself, and looking for a bright side or funny way to deal with it.
I AM the best looking guy on these forums because my wife told me I am, and I've got such good taste that I married the smartest woman I've ever met.
Other guys here will tell you I'm dead wrong because their wife told THEM that, and THEY have the smartest woman in the world. Personally, I can't believe they can confuse "dead wrong" with "dead sexy", but.....meh!
See how that works? ;D
I didn't even need to buy a Magnum P.I. car or anything (Zakk, couldn't resist throwing that in there ;) )
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Yeah 10's are psychoe. I only reserve 10 for models and some beauty queens, but they are off their rockers.
I have one that randomly IM's me because I don't give her attention. She swings wildly between anger and self-pity. Why do I avoid her in the first place, though? Because she's psycho! :P
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And here's the picture of a girl I wrote...
personals.yahoo.com link (http://personals.yahoo.com/us/preview/view?index=1&id=personals-1109021704-492058&done=http%3A%2F%2Fpersonals.yahoo.com%2Fus%2Fpreview%2Fpreview%3Fsavedads%3D1%26detailnp%3D1%26noedit%3D1%26total%3D10%26position%3D9%26most_recent_last%3D)
I'm thinking that's got to be a fake ad. Either that, or this girl gets around a bit. I saw that same picture @ Hot or Not a while back. In the 'gay' section (yeah, I browse the gay women, is that a crime?).
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nope me and my wife do the same for kicks. :angel:
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i hope the URL "ninjaturtlesnetwork" doesnt show up on the sites ur posting these pics, lol
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i wonder what ever happened to this guy.. lol
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His profile sez he was last here 2 days ago. Methinks he secretly has a crush on you, and has been chatting with you online disguised as a super-phat chick to get the nekkid pics of you for his personal collection
Now that the cat's outta the bag, fess up. You think he's dead sexy but are afraid to come out of the closet ;D
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I met my wife through adultfriendfinders.com. But I did a good deal of work and effort to get a good ad there. I regularly got responses back from the women I messaged, and met several people for coffee before I met and fell for my wife.
For internet dating sites, for men, I have a few REALLY GOOD tips.
1) sign up for a woman's account.
In other words, sign up for a free ad, and post that you are a woman, red-hair, athletic build, non-smoker, looking to meet some new people and have some fun. Don't post a picture. Then sit back and watch the messages *FLOOD* in. If you want them to come in even faster, mention that you have big boobs. Read the messages that you get. They will be a fantastic guide on exactly what NOT to say to get someone to respond to you. 90% of them will all say the same thing, with various measurements given between 9 and 12 inches. Most of those will end with requests for your phone # and address. Most all of the others will be something insipid or stupid that will make you roll your eyes and mutter "loser" under your breath.
2) Do *NOT* spam the same message to all of the women who match your search.
Many of the women out there have more than one account on the same site, and will catch you if you send them the same message to different accounts. There are a LOT of "spammers" out there who get disqualified immediately for that.
3) When you do find someone that sounds like you'd be interested in talking to them, *read*their*ad* and respond to what it is that they said about themselves.
She says she likes cycling? Ask her what it is that she likes best about it... etc.
Also, a great idea for an attention grabber, or ice-breaker is to sympathize with the fact that she is being deluged with stupid messages.
Basically, understand that your message will be one of hundreds that will be flooding into her mailbox. You have to stand out from that crowd, and you have to do it by being interesting, down to earth, realistic, and interested in her. Once you can do that, then you'll start getting replies back to your messages. And once they start talking to you, then you can pick and choose which of them you want to spend time with.
Just pay attention. That's really the important part.
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So, basically, do the same things one does in real life to get a woman.
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I met my wife through adultfriendfinders.com.
No kidding? I thought that was a porno site? I see pop-up ads from there all the time with topless strippers / escort types.
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So, basically, do the same things one does in real life to get a woman.
Well, other than the bit about dressing up like a woman and getting hit on by guys so you can see what "the competition" is doing. ;D
I met my wife through adultfriendfinders.com.
No kidding? I thought that was a porno site? I see pop-up ads from there all the time with topless strippers / escort types.
Well, it's a hook-up site. Friendfinders is for people looking for pen-pals and beach-walk buddies. AdultFrienfinders is for folks looking for some sex. Because of that, there's a lot of people who post pornoriffic pics of themselves, and the website throws around the best of them to attract business. Hey, strippers need love too! ;D
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More like they throw around a lot of made up ads that are 100x better looking than the crap you'd find in your area.
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exactly..
i actually joined that site for a month it was the biggest waste ever. it was either gross fat girls, fake ads that when u message them link u to a site where u have to pay to see "the rest of their pictures", or just plain weirdos. i dunno how u met anyone on that site man
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Just lucky I guess...
Here I am, fat, bald, and more than 5 years older than the upper limit she was looking for. She's a young, athletic redheaded hottie with green eyes, who was just looking for some hookups. We celebrated our 5-year aniversiary this weekend!
I'm 9 years older than her, and just don't get this "hip and hop" music she listens to... but then, she doesn't remember the Superfriends, or H.R. Puffenstuff.
Or, it could be that we're just both plain weirdos. ;D Either way, it am teh happeh!
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lucky bastard, i love redheads.... i demand pics! =p
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He's not lucky, he's wealthy.
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OOH, see now that would make sense.
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I'm 9 years older than her, and just don't get this "hip and hop" music she listens to... but then, she doesn't remember the Superfriends, or H.R. Puffenstuff.
Puffenstuff is one of those hip hop guys she listens to.
Either way, it am teh happeh!
In Engrish prease!