Worst US Theater released movies ever made… 80’s and up

[fallacy]

Star Wars Episode One. There actually bringing this pile of Sh*t back to the theaters in 3D? Ha haha!.. I just threw up in my mouth a bit.

Kazaam;  Staring Shaq - I would let it go if it was marketed for kids like Spy Kids or 3 Little Ninjas but it was not.

Batman & Robin;  What were they thinking, you really can’t get worse then this movie on every level. I mean I have not actually watched the whole thing, but that is only because if I try to watch a little bit on TV I run to the bathroom pucking from having witnessed so much suck all at one.

Down to Earth; Chris Rock film, supposed to be a comedy. Till this day it’s been the only film I have ever walked out the theater in the middle of the movie.

[nitz]

Fun topic.

+1 for Batman and Robin. Easily the worst Batman movie, and probably the worst superhero movie ever. George Clooney was terrible as Batman, Arnold was terrible as Mr. Freeze...come to think of it, everyone in that movie was terrible except maybe Michael Gough as Alfred. The dialog and story were terrible too. It's almost so bad it's good...but really, it's just bad.

Titanic. Blech. They're re-releasing this one in 3D too. Possibly the most overrated movie ever. The so called "love story" is stupid, thanks to terrible acting and writing. Everything after the ship hits the iceberg should have been great, but it's ruined by the whole love story motif.

Pearl Harbor. Again, a movie about a historic event that really should have been good, but they have to stick a love story in there. I have nothing against love stories per se, but when it's in the wrong movie with the wrong actors, it's painful and embarrassing to watch. Look, make a stupid ass love story with pretty boy actors or make a war/historical movie. Don't try to do both at once.

Armageddon. Do I even need to explain why? Just a bunch of noise with a stupid plot and silly acting.

This is all I can think of for now.

[SavannahLion]

It would probably be easier if we could divide the movies up by era or some other category but I'll give it my best shot.

Alice in Wonderland (2010): Don't get me wrong. I like Johnny Depp. I like Tim Burton. I really like Alice in Wonderland. But this damn movie just falls flat on its face. I've attempted to watch this move four times already and each time I never make any further than... I dunno some point in the movie. Can't even remember because my brain hemorrhages and I slip into a coma every time. Hands down, I would have rather have had American McGee try his hand at his version of Alice on the big screen. 

The Matrix Reloaded and The Matrix Revolutions: What.the..were.the.Wachowski.brothers.thinking?! How do you take one of the greatest Science Fiction films of all time with a fight scene that rivals Star Wars, bend it over, then ass ream it with a broken condom? Not just once, but twice and during one insanely long shoot?

Twilight Saga: Any of the movies. Just die. Just  die damn you. Vampires are NOT teen angst love stories. They are horror. Period. Interview with a Vampire was OK. It got me laid. Twilight Saga will not now nor ever get anyone laid. Only way this will ever get knocked off the stupid throne is when they release a Zombie love flick (Another if the previous is borked).

Moving into the  90's

Hercules (1997 Disney): I believe this is the first film that really spelled out just how crappy Disney animation studios have gotten and the internal craptastic films Disney continues to make. The Emperor's New Groove, Atlantis: The Lost Empire,Treasure Planet and so on. It wouldn't have been so bad if Disney let the damn movies die a peaceful death but some of the movies were actually made into T.V. series. What the hell?

Star Wars Episode One. There actually bring this pile of Sh*t back to the theaters in 3D? Ha haha!.. I just threw up in my mouth a bit.

+1 3D? WHY?? He got the formula so wrong in Ep1 that it might as well be taken out of the canon. Lucas had an excuse for the Christmas Special, he has no excuse for this one.

I can't think of any crap films from the 80's since they're so campy anyways.

[Trip]

You guys aren't even close

80's:

Howard the Duck

90's

Showgirls
Bio Dome
North

00's

Gigli - The Worst Movie
Catwoman
Battlefield Earth - Always giving Gigli a run for it's money

[DrChek]

Howard the Duck

Always the first thing that comes to mind when people bring up "worst" movie ever.

[garnerb350]

Super Mario Bros...(1993)




WTF was Dennis Hopper smoking?

Double Dragon (1994)


No wonder the parents of Party of Five died....

Dont forget this POS
Street Fighter (1994)

[Samstag]

I can't believe you guys are disparaging some of my favorite unintentional comedies.

[SavannahLion]

Howard the Duck

Always the first thing that comes to mind when people bring up "worst" movie ever.

Can't imagine why. Any movie that keeps my idiot neighbor kids quiet for an hour and a half and destroys their sense of being is ace by me.

[SavannahLion]

I remember watching The Animal on DVD and at the end, my dad was like, "they could have made a movie about aliens, and instead they made that."

I have to admit, that's a pretty good rule of thumb for the quality of a movie.  If the money and talent would have been better used making a movie about space aliens then you've just seen a stinker.

I disagree. David Manning thought it was a very good film and I agree with everything David Manning says.
 

[Green Giant]

Super Mario Bros...(1993)




WTF was Dennis Hopper smoking?

Double Dragon (1994)


No wonder the parents of Party of Five died....

Dont forget this POS
Street Fighter (1994)

You episode one haters really need to pay attention to this guy.  He nailed it.  I was 10 and thought the street fighter movie was just awful.


I would also like to add one of the worst movies I ever remember seeing in theaters:

Oh, and this other gem.  Although when I saw it first I liked it....what to 7 year olds know?


Oh, and we can't forget the WORST SEQUEL EVER MADE!!

[Louis Tully]

.

[Well Fed Games]

A.I.

[shmokes]

The only movies I've ever walked out of at the theater are Mr. Holland's Opus and Closer. There are plenty more that deserved it (even some that probably deserved it more), but those two will always belong to a special club for me.

[wp34]

The only movies I've ever walked out of at the theater are Mr. Holland's Opus and Closer. There are plenty more that deserved it (even some that probably deserved it more), but those two will always belong to a special club for me.

I hated Mr. Holland's Opus but didn't walk out on it.  Was there anything in-particular that caused you to get up and leave?

[fallacy]

The only movies I've ever walked out of at the theater are Mr. Holland's Opus and Closer.

I thought Mr. Holland's Opus was a good story.

You episode one haters really need to pay attention to this guy.  He nailed it.  I was 10 and thought the street fighter movie was just awful.

Ya I was like 13 and I thought the same thing. That was not Street Fighter that was Street Dildo in the Ass!

Titanic. Blech. They're re-releasing this one in 3D too. Possibly the most overrated movie ever. The so called "love story" is stupid, thanks to terrible acting and writing. Everything after the ship hits the iceberg should have been great, but it's ruined by the whole love story motif.

Pearl Harbor. Again, a movie about a historic event that really should have been good, but they have to stick a love story in there. I have nothing against love stories per se, but when it's in the wrong movie with the wrong actors, it's painful and embarrassing to watch. Look, make a stupid ass love story with pretty boy actors or make a war/historical movie. Don't try to do both at once.

Armageddon. Do I even need to explain why? Just a bunch of noise with a stupid plot and silly acting.

Worst Movies ever made? I think not good sir.

[Trip]

Everyone in the theater but me and my future wife walked out of The Majestic (with Jim Carrey if you never heard of this one, it was bad and forgetful)

It was one of the most awesome movies I have ever seen in a movie theater.  Have no idea what it was about, but it was f'in awesome.  LOL

If it happened now, unfortunately I think me and my wife would be the ones leaving...boo

[fallacy]

You guys aren't even close

80's:

Howard the Duck

90's

Showgirls
Bio Dome
North

00's

Gigli - The Worst Movie
Catwoman
Battlefield Earth - Always giving Gigli a run for it's money

80's:

Howard the Duck – I don’t really  remember this one

90's

Showgirls – This one provided me some porn as a kid.. so it has a special place in my heart.
Bio Dome – I thought it was entertaining as a kid so it can’t be all that bad.
North – I sure I watched it but don’t remember.

00's

Gigli - The Worst Movie – It got such bad review in the box office how many people even bothered to watch it?
Catwoman - Ehhhhh
Battlefield Earth - Always giving Gigli a run for it's money – Now here is a truly sh*ty movie. humorless, bad acting, bad story. Even as a kid you would be like turn this crap off.

[shmokes]

The only movies I've ever walked out of at the theater are Mr. Holland's Opus and Closer. There are plenty more that deserved it (even some that probably deserved it more), but those two will always belong to a special club for me.

I hated Mr. Holland's Opus but didn't walk out on it.  Was there anything in-particular that caused you to get up and leave?

It was just so sappy and melodramatic and exploitative and manipulative. Like the director thought (and I think this truly is the case) that he (she?) can get away with absolutely anything so long as (s)he dangles a handicapped child in front of you . . . because you're not going to say anything bad about a handicapped child, right?

It was boring and asinine. Just every second of it awful. But look how beautiful this precious damaged child is . . .

[ark_ader]

Scanners



The Boogems - lol such a load of tripe.



Sharkeys Machine



The Last Shark (Great White)  - Saw that at the cinema at Lakewood the day before Universal pulled it.

Mothers Day

 - one weird flick.




The golden child....


If I think of any more I'll post it.


<images not working>

[Vigo]

Happy Feet

Indiana Jones 4

[Trip]

The golden child....

The golden child was awesome, awesome I  tell you.  It was just on this weekend and I totally watched it.

I said I I  I I want the knife,  PLUHEEEEEEESSSEEEEE

[drventure]

My wife and I walked out of "The Fifth Element", and we don't walk out of many movies.

But apparently a lot of people loved that movie. 

Hell, Imdb even shows a 7.5 of 10

[Dartful Dodger]

The only movies I've ever walked out of at the theater are Mr. Holland's Opus and Closer. There are plenty more that deserved it (even some that probably deserved it more), but those two will always belong to a special club for me.

My wife and I walked out of "The Fifth Element", and we don't walk out of many movies.

But apparently a lot of people loved that movie. 

Hell, Imdb even shows a 7.5 of 10

If you can't sit through a movie after dropping 10 bucks on it, it's a bad movie.

I’ve sat through a lot of crap. It may have been bad, but watching nothing was worse.

Jack Frost was the only movie I ever walked out on.

[Cakemeister]

Ghost Dad
The Adventures of Pluto Nash (didn't see this one)
Dead Ringers
Mystic River
Punch Drunk Love (didn't see this one, either)

[Green Giant]

Wow PBJ, what sort of movies do you like?


I do find the results of this question quite funny.  You can really tell the people that have seen A LOT of movies vs. those that just go when they are expecting something good and get disappointed.

My wife and I walked out of "The Fifth Element", and we don't walk out of many movies.

Really?  I like the fifth element, still do.  It is just a fun sci-fi movie.  I can only imagine that both of you hate sci-fi and went to see it cause of bruce willis.

[shmokes]

Happy Feet

Indiana Jones 4

+1 on both of those. I didn't see Happy Feet in the Theater. Had I, it would have been the third movie I walked out of. I watched it on DVD with my daughter when she was like 3--I made it through the whole movie more-or-less, for her sake. I couldn't believe how awful it was. And the ham-fisted political message constantly being jammed down my throat had me gagging, even though I'm about as flaming liberal as they come.

[popsicle]

Indiana Jones 4

Unbelievably bad.  An insult to Temple of Doom even.

Caddyshack II?

Jaws the Revenge?

Hollow Man?

[Vigo]

My wife and I walked out of "The Fifth Element", and we don't walk out of many movies.

But apparently a lot of people loved that movie.  

Hell, Imdb even shows a 7.5 of 10

I absolutely loved it. It is just so offbeat and humorous; a great throwback to the lovable campyness of older sci-fi films like Total Recall. The whole movie is a parody.

[Donkbaca]

Hugo was terrible.  How in the heck that was nominated for best picture is beyond my comprehension.

English Patient won best picture and it, along with the Hurt Locker, are best picture garbage.

Where the Wild Things are is soul crushingly horrible, considering i loved that book when I was a kid.

[spoot]

Really?  I like the fifth element, still do.  It is just a fun sci-fi movie.  I can only imagine that both of you hate sci-fi and went to see it cause of bruce willis.

Any frame of film with Ruby Rhod should have been on the cutting room floor.  What a bleeping mecrob of a character he was.......ugh.

[Well Fed Games]

One year I rented movies based on what had done well at the Oscars, so I picked up Gangs of New York and Monster's Ball. Horrible, unlikable movies filled with unlikable characters. I quickly learned that the "academy's" taste in movies and mine would rarely match up.

Unrelated, but relevant: I also hate "Pay it Forward" with all of my being.

[drventure]

Really?  I like the fifth element, still do.  It is just a fun sci-fi movie.  I can only imagine that both of you hate sci-fi and went to see it cause of bruce willis.

Any frame of film with Ruby Rhod should have been on the cutting room floor.  What a bleeping mecrob of a character he was.......ugh.

+1 I couldn't remember that characters name, but good god, just awful.

Thing is, we're both huge sci-fi geeks. Maybe it was just the timing of when we saw it, just wasn't in the mood for that, I don't know.

But the only other movie I can remember walking out of was "Mom and dad save the world".

[Vigo]

I laughed ---my bottom--- off at Ruby Rhod. Perfect parody of prince. He was only a whiny ---smurfette--- because that is what Prince is, you are suppose to hate the guy.

[hypernova]

Yup, most Eddie Murphy movies lately.

Battle LA

[Trip]

It's crazy to see how different people's tastes are, how some people love a certain movie and some people just absolutely hate it.


I forgot about this movie, don't know how, but it absolutely made me want to track down the producers/screenwriter and physically hurt them.

Skyline

[drventure]

I laughed ---my bottom--- off at Ruby Rhod. Perfect parody of prince. He was only a whiny ---smurfette--- because that is what Prince is, you are suppose to hate the guy.

Yeah, I can see that now. If we watched it again, we might have a very different take on it now.

Skyline was definitely annoying in many ways, but at least watchable.

Pretty much the same with Battle LA. Chock full of "WTF" but still watchable.

[Vigo]

Bridge to Terebithia.

[spoot]

I laughed ---my bottom--- off at Ruby Rhod. Perfect parody of prince. He was only a whiny ---smurfette--- because that is what Prince is, you are suppose to hate the guy.

Sure but I hated it sooooo much I nearly hit "stop" to end the pain and throw the dvd on the shelve to never be completed.  Pretty sure I got up to get a beer or sumthing to get away.

[Vigo]

hehe, that is probably the way to react to about everything Chris Tucker is in.

[selfie]

Wow some films I really enjoyed are listed here...

I will defend Indy 4, yes it was dissapointing but it was no Matrix sequels.

Pearl Harbour would have been a lot better if it finished after the attack on Pearl.

Am I the only one who saw Ghost Rider???

[Trip]

Skyline was definitely annoying in many ways, but at least watchable.

I can watch any bad movie once, twice if I was paid.  Skyline would be early retirement money for me to watch it again.  That's definitely up there with Battlefield Earth and Gigli.

[Trip]

I will defend Indy 4, yes it was dissapointing but it was no Matrix sequels.

Am I the only one who saw Ghost Rider???

Matrix went bad before the sequels.  The last scene of the movie when he flies away, that made me immediately think uh oh, the sequel is gonna suck.

Ghost Rider sucked, but it wasn't worst movie evar suckage.

[Samstag]

Pretty much the same with Battle LA. Chock full of "WTF" but still watchable.

It's easier to appreciate after accidentally renting Battle OF Los Angeles.

[Green Giant]

I know half of you guys must have never seen Batman and Robin.

Batman had nipples.......nipples!!

Wax lips.......yeah, that was how you were immune to poison ivy.


That movie and the Avengers.  God they were so terrible.  The Avengers was actually the first movie I ever fell asleep in at the theater.

[wp34]

The only movies I've ever walked out of at the theater are Mr. Holland's Opus and Closer. There are plenty more that deserved it (even some that probably deserved it more), but those two will always belong to a special club for me.

I hated Mr. Holland's Opus but didn't walk out on it.  Was there anything in-particular that caused you to get up and leave?

It was just so sappy and melodramatic and exploitative and manipulative. Like the director thought (and I think this truly is the case) that he (she?) can get away with absolutely anything so long as (s)he dangles a handicapped child in front of you . . . because you're not going to say anything bad about a handicapped child, right?

It was boring and asinine. Just every second of it awful. But look how beautiful this precious damaged child is . . .

We saw the same movie.  You hit the nail on the head.  It lost me when he was thinking of running away with his student.   

My son's band teacher looks and acts just like Drefus--except he checked-out years ago and is just going through the motions if you look past the facade.  I call him Mr. Holland to my wife.

[Ond]

Bridge to Terebithia.

That's 2 now, do we think alike?,  I enjoyed the 5th Element and hated Terebithia.  Supposedly it was an OK book, but it should have stayed just that, a book. 

I don't think I've ever actually walked out of any movie,  the most 'wrong' I ever got it was taking a new girlfriend to a sensitive love story with plenty of nakedness....but with only males in the lead roles, now I'm not gay nor homophobic but BLOODY HELL          I can't recall the title, maybe the therapy has blocked it out.  Rotten Tomatoes is my indispensable pre-movie strategy!

[SavannahLion]

I avoided mentioning Batman and robin because, quite honestly, I can't remember jack ---steaming pile of meadow muffin--- from that movie. All the previous versions kind of become a foggy memory after the Joker reboot. If only he lived.

Where the Wild Things Are. Jesus, I actually forgot about this one. My kids sit through a lot of crap but this one they actually asked me to get rid of. Mind you, they're 4 and 2 so they still like Barney.

Happy Feet I tolerated. I think there's a fan edit somewhere that attempts to thin out the annoying political angle. I'd rather not waste time watching again it though.

I'm surprised someone mentioned Jurassic Park III. Would've thought JPII was worse.

Bridesmaids. One of the very few films I got up and left on. I must be tired as Hell if I forgot this one. Oddly, my wife grew to like this one but keeps falling asleep at the cookie scene. Same scene I got up and left on.

My wife reminded me of two others. Hell Boy and Underworld. I bought both on the recomendation of someone and I find they're outrageously lame. The movies too. I'd sell the movies off but I can't figure out where they are. I don't know what it is about them and I honestly can't see the appeal.

[Malenko]

I love Bio-Dome and I'm not even a pothead.

How are we defining bad? ,bad directing (if so everything Michael Bay ever),bad premise, bad acting?

Worst Overall:
Blair Witch Project, my buddy wouldn't let me get up and leave the theater. He kept saying "I heard good things, it'll get better". It didnt.

Worst Sequel:
3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain  I forgot how ---smurfy--- this movie was until my nephews wanted to watch it a few weeks ago. Worst part? Its not the worst Hulk Hogan movie

Worst Hulk Hogan move:
Tie: all of them. Kidding, no Holds Barred was passable but if you wanna torture someone get Suburban Commando, Santa with Muscles, and Mr.Nanny. For good measure finish them off with the entire series of Thunder in Paradise.

I hate everything Tyler Perry, and most "Black Comedies" By Black Comedies I dont mean great flicks like Fargo, "Very,very,very bad things" and Four Rooms, I mean steaming turds like "Who's Your Caddy?" and "Roscoe's house of Chicken and Waffles"   However, Black Dynamite is epically awesome and is everything that is right with movies.

I also hate pretty much EVERY parody movie after the naked guns (even 33 and 1/3 is kinda meh). Epic Movie, Disaster Movie, Date Movie, Scary Movie, Meet the Spartans, Vampires Suck, heck even Airplane II .

I've listed too many as it is.

[Ginsu Victim]

I hate everything Tyler Perry, and most "Black Comedies" By Black Comedies I dont mean great flicks like Fargo, "Very,very,very bad things" and Four Rooms, I mean steaming turds like "Who's Your Caddy?" and "Roscoe's house of Chicken and Waffles"   However, Black Dynamite is epically awesome and is everything that is right with movies.

You at least like the first Friday movie, right?

[Zero_Hour]

Boxing Helena. 1993

It's the film so bad that Kim Bassinger backed out of the movie, and lost millions for breach of contract after doing so doing so. It pretty much bankrupted her. If you've seen the film, I'm sure you'd agree that it was money well spent.

[HaRuMaN]

I liked Friday

 

Friday's a good one.  "It's Friday, you ain't got no job, ain't got ---steaming pile of meadow muffin--- to do...  Ima get you high today"

[Donkbaca]

How could you not like hell boy?  Guillermo Del Toro is the ---steaming pile of meadow muffin---!

The planet of the apes reboots are abysmal, really any planet of the apes other than the first one is bad.  I LOVE the first one by the way, the way Charleton Heston delivers his epic lines:

"Imagine me needing someone. Back on Earth I never did. Oh, there were women. Lots of women. Lots of love-making but no love. You see, that was the kind of world we'd made. So I left, because there was no one to hold me there"

That is probably the best line ever.  I should package that line with my dolphin training business cards in a how to get laid for nerds kit, just substitute "Earth" for Beverly Hills....

[Bootay]

Donk: I love the first original Planet of the Apes too. the 2nd was awful and 3rd was alright but kind of bad, but the last one was decent...Conquest of the Planet of the Apes. I didn't mind the reboots though. I know everyone hates the Burton one but I didn't mind it.

And a few other comments of my opinion...

Friday is probably the only Chris Tucker movie I can watch. Too bad they ruined Friday with all the stupid sequels. I like The Fifth Element but Chris Tuckers character ruins it. So annoying.

The only comic movies I truly hated were Batman & Robin and Spawn. People mention the Adam West Batman movie, but at least you knew what it was going in, with Batman & Robin they took a franchise that was sort of dark and gritty for it's time. (with Forever starting to get stupid and campy) and they turned it into total camp. It wasn't what the series was about. And with Spawn, they took a totally adult story and turned it into a family movie.

Scanners I liked, but I love old horror and I tend to like Cronenberg's old stuff. (Even though some of the pacing is slow compared to more modern movies)

I like Underworld 1 & 2 and Hellboy 1 & 2.

Movies I recall hating at the theater are:

The Talented Mr. Ripley
Spawn (As previously mentioned)
Eyes Wide Shut
Vanilla Sky
Jason Goes to Hell

[Donkbaca]

They should remake Spawn, that comic has been going on for 20 years now

[HaRuMaN]

They should remake Spawn, that comic has been going on for 20 years now

HBO's animated Spawn were actually pretty good.  The live action movie?  Man, they ruined that...

[Vigo]

Donk: I love the first original Planet of the Apes too. the 2nd was awful and 3rd was alright but kind of bad, but the last one was decent...Conquest of the Planet of the Apes. I didn't mind the reboots though. I know everyone hates the Burton one but I didn't mind it.

I didn't mind Burton's Planet of the apes either. I went into it telling myself that there had been a pile of bad planet of the apes movies before it, so there is no point to expect anything. It was good action mixed with a lackluster plot. I ended up feeling it passed as an OK film. I felt the special effects and costume work were stellar.

Of course, nothing tops the original movie. It's good to see some other Heston fans out there.   

[Mikezilla]

I cant believe nobody mentioned this, but Terminator 4? I was so pissed after watching that garbage.

PBJ, youre insane. Batman and Robin is the worst movie ever made. You can talk about the classic "worst movies ever" but Batman and Robin is number one, a bunch of movie magazines agreed. Thats the only movie I have ever walked out of. Terrible. I dont even know how it ends. How did you not like Scott Pilgrim?! I was bummed that I DIDNT see it in theatres. Loved that movie.

Live free or die hard. Vigo mentioned Indy 4, and jesus god that movie was a pile of ---steaming pile of meadow muffin---. I dont understand either, considering the entire crew was the same.

Phantom Menace
Valentines Day
Pearl Harbor - SO freaking long, I almost went insane
X men 3 - This movie pissed me off because the other ones were so well done. HATED IT.
Spiderman 3. How the hell can you ruin Venom?! Yup, they did.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre The Beginning. Yeah, my sister and I saw this cause we liked the first one so much, it wasnt as bad as the other ones I mentioned, still pissed I paid to see it though.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3. I was a kid and my dad took me to see it, I dont remember a damn thing about it, so I probably hated that one most of all. The second one was pretty awful too.

The end to the Tim Burton Planet of the Apes is what pissed me off. I dont really remember too much of the movie, but I remember HATING the end. I wish he would get a new crop of actors. Im sick of seeing Helena Bonham Carter, and Johnny Depp in everything he does.

[Donkbaca]

People lie about the Phantom Menace.  I remember when it came out, I had nerd friends that waited hours to see it the day it came out, when they came home they were all like, "Man that was so awesome! The podracing was epic, blah, blah, blah.  I saw it about a month afterwards with the same friends who wanted to see it again, and I hated it.  Everyone craps on it now, but I would wager there are a ton of fanboys on this board who probably ponied up to see it 2-3 times in the theater.

Last Action Hero was a total bust, remember how Arnold was the man, and every movie he made was awesome?  Then Last Action Hero came out, and his star fizzled about as fast as I can remember.

[Vigo]

People lie about the Phantom Menace.  I remember when it came out, I had nerd friends that waited hours to see it the day it came out, when they came home they were all like, "Man that was so awesome! The podracing was epic, blah, blah, blah.  I saw it about a month afterwards with the same friends who wanted to see it again, and I hated it.  Everyone craps on it now, but I would wager there are a ton of fanboys on this board who probably ponied up to see it 2-3 times in the theater.

[Mikezilla]

I remember not hating it as much as I hate it now, but still thought Jar Jar binks was annoying, and the metichlorion thing was absurd. I remember thinking "if the rest of the movies are going to be this bad, they are going to ---Bad words, bad words, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when saint censors you?----fy Darth Vader" Totally called it.  

Edit: I never saw Last Action Hero. In theatres, or at all really.

[Vigo]

Edit: I never saw Last Action Hero. In theatres, or at all really.

It is pretty much a gratuitous Arnold love fest. Some kid is given a magic movie ticket that opens a gateway between movies and the real world, and you can go into a movie and it brings movies to life and ---steaming pile of meadow muffin---. All the kid wants to do with it is go see and Arnold movie so he can see his hero in action. A crazy adventure ensues, I guess. It left me wondering what kind of young teenage male would pick visiting an Arnold action flick where you can get shot and killed any second above using it on a porno movie or some movie that you can use to aquire kickass superpowers or bars of gold? 

[garnerb350]

Its funny, but I find myself watching crappy movies that i know sucked in the theatres (mostly on netflicks now)....And I will stop whatever im doing just to watch it... I don't know call it a nostalgia or whatever... but one movie that stands in my mind is 1986 The Wraith (Charlie Sheen, Randy Quaid)... it was so crappy it became awesome...that and Kung-Pow:Enter the Fist...

[Bootay]

They should remake Spawn, that comic has been going on for 20 years now

HBO's animated Spawn were actually pretty good.  The live action movie?  Man, they ruined that...

Yes the animated series was great..too bad stupid HBO cancelled it before it was finished.

[knave]

I agree with most of this, EXCEPT. The Fifth Element, is one of the Best Movies EVER!

Flying cars, check. Gruff Cynical Bruce Willis in a tanktop, Check (and its Orange!)
Cool weapons, check. Alien bad guys, check.
Funny, check. and the best part...Mia Jovoich!

Sure Chris tucker is annoying...but it's still a great movie.

[Malenko]

You at least like the first Friday movie, right?

Hey Smokey's back here takin a ---steaming pile of meadow muffin---!
How you get fired on your day off?


Yeah, I really like the first friday, the sequel to it wasnt terrible. Tastes so good make you wanna slap yo momma!

I cant believe nobody mentioned this, but Terminator 4? I was so pissed after watching that garbage.

Silly boy, they only made 2 Terminator movies. T1 and Judgement Day.


As for last action hero, yeah the first 15 is good, especially the Hamlet scene. Worst part is that movie was very original concept but the execution was ---steaming pile of meadow muffin--- and the kid in it ...man I kept hoping he'd ---smurfing--- die.

[Hoopz]

I generally enjoy Charlie Sheen's movies but The Chase was awful.

And I fell asleep during Russia House.  Never walked out on a movie but that's the only one I slept during.  I don't see as many movies as most of you guys especially in the last 10 years or so.

Never saw em but all my friends can't stand the Twilight movies.  Are they really awful?

[Malenko]

Never saw em but all my friends can't stand the Twilight movies.  Are they really awful?

Better acting in budget porn, better love story too.


The first Lord of the Rings movie was the first movie I fell asleep in, TWICE in 1 sitting

[wp34]

Never saw em but all my friends can't stand the Twilight movies.  Are they really awful?

I've not seen any of them but I laughed out loud during the preview for the new one prior to Hunger Games.     It looked like a parody.

I don't get the hate for Fifth Element.  That is one of my favorite movies despite the performance of Chris Tucker.  To this point I've never met anyone that disliked that movie.  Heck my doctor quoted it during my last office visit and a women I work with named her dog after Leloo.   

[Vigo]

Leloo Dallas Multipass.

[Nephasth]

[yotsuya]

Man, I'm glad I don't go to the movies with any of you guys. 

I avoid ---smurfy--- movies by not going to see them in the first place. 

[Le Chuck]

Went and saw 5th Element as a first date movie.  Got lucky afterwards about 20 minutes in.  Still an all time fav movie.

[yotsuya]

Went and saw 5th Element as a first date movie.  Got lucky afterwards about 20 minutes in.  Still an all time fav movie.

I can't tell you how many 90s sucky ass Christian Slater movies I got dragged to for the promise of a little something something.

[nitz]

Titanic. Blech. They're re-releasing this one in 3D too. Possibly the most overrated movie ever. The so called "love story" is stupid, thanks to terrible acting and writing. Everything after the ship hits the iceberg should have been great, but it's ruined by the whole love story motif.

Pearl Harbor. Again, a movie about a historic event that really should have been good, but they have to stick a love story in there. I have nothing against love stories per se, but when it's in the wrong movie with the wrong actors, it's painful and embarrassing to watch. Look, make a stupid ass love story with pretty boy actors or make a war/historical movie. Don't try to do both at once.

Armageddon. Do I even need to explain why? Just a bunch of noise with a stupid plot and silly acting.

Worst Movies ever made? I think not good sir.

If we're talking "worst movies ever made" in a strict literal sense, these are far from it of course, but my criteria is basically if it's a mainstream movie that seems like it should be great and it falls as flat as these ones did, it's a contender for worst movie ever. I don't count stuff like Bio-Dome because they're not even really trying to make a good movie and you pretty much know what it's gonna be like going in. I also don't count non-mainstream stuff simply because it would kill the conversation for most people including me - most of the truly horrid stuff is obscure and forgotten because it's so bad.

Super Mario Bros...(1993)




WTF was Dennis Hopper smoking?

I was 11 when this came out and I was pretty psyched about it, and of course it ended up being a huge disappointment. And yeah, even as kid I remember thinking something like, "Dennis Hopper is in this? What the ---fudgesicle---, did he lose some crazy bet or something?" However, when I saw it again years later I actually kind of liked it. I think if you ignore the fact that they totally puked on the source material and just treat it as a sort of cheesy B movie, it works on that level.

A.I.

Yep, another contender for sure. If you describe the basic plot to someone and that it's Spielberg, it sounds like it should be great, but it really sucked.

Worst Overall:
Blair Witch Project, my buddy wouldn't let me get up and leave the theater. He kept saying "I heard good things, it'll get better". It didnt.

Oh man, somehow I forgot about Blair Witch Project.   I don't think I even made it to the 30 minute mark on that one. That's my winner (loser?) right there...that for me has gotta be the worst piece of ---steaming pile of meadow muffin--- to ever be shown in a public movie theater.

I also hate pretty much EVERY parody movie after the naked guns (even 33 and 1/3 is kinda meh). Epic Movie, Disaster Movie, Date Movie, Scary Movie, Meet the Spartans, Vampires Suck, heck even Airplane II .

I think the reason the Naked Gun movies worked so well is that they are really more pastiche than parody. Pastiche done well is funnier than just straight parody. The problem with Epic Movie, Disaster Movie et al, is that they seem to think simply referencing a recent popular movie is funny. I never saw it, but I think Date Movie had a guy who looked like Napolean Dynamite saying, "Don't vote for Pedro". How is that funny? It's not.

As for the Star Wars prequels, I've always maintained that they're really not that bad, but I'm not a huge Star Wars fanboy either. I think a lot of people were hoping if not expecting that these would be as good as the original trilogy which of course they never could be. I came to them with very low expectations and thus was not disappointed. Phantom Menace and Clones are easily the two weakest of the six, but they have parts that are quite enjoyable, while Revenge of the Sith is actually very good IMO, almost on par with Jedi.

Man, I'm glad I don't go to the movies with any of you guys.  

I avoid ---smurfy--- movies by not going to see them in the first place.  

This. It's usually so easy to tell these days when a movie is going to be ---steaming pile of meadow muffin---. It's one of the reasons I don't go to the movies that much anymore - most of them just aren't that good. When I was a teen I'd watch 5+ movies a month (mostly via video rentals) because I had tons of free time to burn and it wasn't as easy to find out beforehand if something sucked without the internet. But these days I just can't be bothered unless something looks pretty good, and sometimes even then I don't bother.

[fallacy]

Has anyone seen Contagion. Man all star cast that was so bad… it was soooooooooo boring. I am not sure what they were going or in this movie… maybe trying to go for some kind of realistic view on what would happen if a virus brook out. Talk about your 0 entertainment. When the movie was over I was just staring blankly at the screen, I almost felt like I was just staring at a white was for 2 hours straight.

[GregD]

Some of the movies listed I really enjoyed.  Bridge to Terabithia...Mystic River...etc

Bad movies:
Kid & Play's House Party
Kazzam
Striptease
Anything with the words Ace Ventura in the title
Encino Man
The Happening
White Chicks
Corky Romano
Battlefield Earth

[wp34]

The Happening

Bingo!  I have to think the actors in this had to be panicking halfway through the shoot.  Everything about it sucks except the cinematography. 

[Bootay]

Yea I need to add The Blair Witch Project to my list. I found 0 entertainment in that movie. I also hated Paranormal Activity. zzzzzzzzzzzz snooze fest. I don't get why people tell me these movies are scary. I also hate any movie that mimics this formula.

White Chicks. Yea I saw that and also hated it..but I tend to hate everything with the Wayans Bros.

The Happening I liked until they revealed the premise....then I was like "WHAT?! LOL"

I like the Fifth Element, I just wish the Chris Tucker character was removed. He is the Jar Jar Binks of that movie.

I am sure there are others mentioned that are bad like Kazaam and Battlefield Earth, but I never saw them and won't bother because everyone tells me they are bad.

[shmokes]

"[Phantom Menace] was pretty good... can't wait to see the clone wars."

You have terrible taste in movies. Seriously, you've disparaged a lot of fine, and even very good movies in this thread. And then you drop this? What the Christ, lol? Jar Jar Binks was the star of that movie. I mean that literally. He had more screen time than any other character. And he was supported by the dreadful performance of that little kid playing young Anakin. I mean, putting aside the contrived, after-school-special quality of the story, and the temporal disconnects with the rest of the franchise (Midi-chlorians, better technology in Episode 1 than 4,5,6), the movie was just ---smurfing--- awful. Pretty much as awful as it's possible for a movie to be.

I get that there's chocolate and vanilla ice cream, and everyone is entitled to their own opinion. But dog ---steaming pile of meadow muffin--- flavored ice cream is just objectively gross.

[Vigo]

The Happening

Bingo!  I have to think the actors in this had to be panicking halfway through the shoot.  Everything about it sucks except the cinematography. 

Would have been good as a 1 hour special maybe? Some concepts were pretty cool, but there is only so long you can run from trees.

[Trip]

All the M Night Shamalamadingdong movies are terrible.

[Green Giant]

"[Phantom Menace] was pretty good... can't wait to see the clone wars."

You have terrible taste in movies. Seriously, you've disparaged a lot of fine, and even very good movies in this thread. And then you drop this? What the Christ, lol? Jar Jar Binks was the star of that movie. I mean that literally. He had more screen time than any other character. And he was supported by the dreadful performance of that little kid playing young Anakin. I mean, putting aside the contrived, after-school-special quality of the story, and the temporal disconnects with the rest of the franchise (Midi-chlorians, better technology in Episode 1 than 4,5,6), the movie was just ---smurfing--- awful. Pretty much as awful as it's possible for a movie to be.

I get that there's chocolate and vanilla ice cream, and everyone is entitled to their own opinion. But dog ---steaming pile of meadow muffin--- flavored ice cream is just objectively gross.

I thought he was talking about his beliefs at the time.


All the star wars fanboys walked out of the movie and immediately started convincing themselves that it was good.  Only over time did the self hypnosis wear off and they realized how bad lucas ---steaming pile of meadow muffin--- on it.

I really often ask myself what was lucas on in the 70s that produced such genius stuff?  Or what is he on now that has warped his mind?

[wp34]

All the M Night Shamalamadingdong movies are terrible.

I like Signs.  Inclined to agree with you on the rest.  Supposedly, The Happening doesn't make much sense because they changed the twist half way through.  Probably just a convenient excuse but there are a few plot lines that go nowhere (the mood rings).

I liked Unbreakable and Signs a lot.  I enjoyed the Sixth Sense and The Village in the theater but they don't hold up on a 2nd viewing.  Don't care for any of the rest of his movies.  My kids saw "The Last Airbender" and acted like you all do concerning Phantom Menace--like their childhood had been desecrated or something.

[wp34]

Also want to throw into consideration all musician biopics.

Coal Miner's Daughter is the oldest one I'm familiar with and the plot is EXACTLY THE SAME in every single one of them ever since.

Agreed.  "Walk Hard" does a good job lambasting this exact cliche.

[TopJimmyCooks]

All the M Night Shamalamadingdong movies are terrible.

I liked Unbreakable a lot and I am not a superhero/comic book person at all.  and 6th sense although it's a single gag movie certainly.  Agree some like the village weren't as good. 

[Mikezilla]

"[Phantom Menace] was pretty good... can't wait to see the clone wars."

You have terrible taste in movies. Seriously, you've disparaged a lot of fine, and even very good movies in this thread. And then you drop this? What the Christ, lol? Jar Jar Binks was the star of that movie. I mean that literally. He had more screen time than any other character. And he was supported by the dreadful performance of that little kid playing young Anakin. I mean, putting aside the contrived, after-school-special quality of the story, and the temporal disconnects with the rest of the franchise (Midi-chlorians, better technology in Episode 1 than 4,5,6), the movie was just ---smurfing--- awful. Pretty much as awful as it's possible for a movie to be.

I get that there's chocolate and vanilla ice cream, and everyone is entitled to their own opinion. But dog ---steaming pile of meadow muffin--- flavored ice cream is just objectively gross.

Totally agree with this. Everything.

I dont get how you guys can bash all of M. Nights movies. Sixth Sense, Unbreakable, Signs, and the Village were all great. None of his movies hold up for a second time. Thats the cool thing, once you watch em, your mind is blown (not so much with Signs, still good though) and you cant watch em again. Didnt see Lady in the Water, but The Last Airbender was god awful, and the Happening was a joke. It made me hate Mark Whalberg because his "acting" and voice were so freaking annoying. 

[Donkbaca]

I agree with Nitz.  I think the topic should be changed to most dissapointing released movie ever, half the movies that people are citing, I mean, c'mon, did you really EXPECT them to be good? Seriously?  You expexted Kazaam or White Chicks to be good?

Blair witch, that's a good one.  They marketed the ---steaming pile of meadow muffin--- out of that movie, my buddy couldn't wait to see it, and it was utter crap.

The new Star Wars movies were pretty crappy, and if you really rewatch the old ones, they aren't that great, what makes them cool is that Darth Vader is a good bad guy, Harrison Ford is charismatic, and the effects were cool. Luke, the hero, is a whiny ---smurfette---.  Yeah Jar Jar is annoying, but so are ewoks.  We like these movies because they were awesome when we were kids, just like kids nowadays PREFER the newer ones to the older trilogy.  I think most of the Star Wars hype is nerd nostalgia

Sixth Sense was good, I liked it in the theater, I didn't expect much of it, and I really enjoyed it.  Same goes for Matrix, saw it opening night at the Man Chinese in Hollywood, didn't know a whole lot about it other than previews and I was blown away.  That being said, everything after Signs is garbage for M. Knight.  The happening was so, so stupid.  Beware! The trees are pissed and are out to get you!  Thing is, if M. Knight weren't sucha  dick, he would still have tons of fan boys, look at Kevin Smith

Clerks was funny, Chasing Amy was OK everything else has been a steady stream of rotting garbage, yet there are diehard Kevin Smith fans.  Why?  Because he's nice to his fans, and they look at him and identify with a fat, comic loving, trenchcoat wearing geek.  Seriously, the dude shouldn't be relevant at all, yet people still love him.

The Mortal Kombat mo 

[shmokes]

I frankly wish people would stop giving Signs a pass, lol. Compared to everything that came after it, yeah, it's a masterpiece. But it's a very mediocre movie on the whole, with laugh-out-loud plot holes and periods of such bombastic stupidity that you just about get whip lash being yanked from your suspension of disbelief so forcefully.  Sixth Sense was excellent for a one-time watch, but of course so reliant on its gimmick that it can only be appreciated once. Unbreakable is great.

[Donkbaca]

The transformers movies were a let down, the last superman film was too, GI Joe fell flat

[Vigo]

"[Phantom Menace] was pretty good... can't wait to see the clone wars."

You have terrible taste in movies. Seriously, you've disparaged a lot of fine, and even very good movies in this thread. And then you drop this? What the Christ, lol? Jar Jar Binks was the star of that movie. I mean that literally. He had more screen time than any other character. And he was supported by the dreadful performance of that little kid playing young Anakin. I mean, putting aside the contrived, after-school-special quality of the story, and the temporal disconnects with the rest of the franchise (Midi-chlorians, better technology in Episode 1 than 4,5,6), the movie was just ---smurfing--- awful. Pretty much as awful as it's possible for a movie to be.

I get that there's chocolate and vanilla ice cream, and everyone is entitled to their own opinion. But dog ---steaming pile of meadow muffin--- flavored ice cream is just objectively gross.

Totally agree with this. Everything.

I dont get how you guys can bash all of M. Nights movies. Sixth Sense, Unbreakable, Signs, and the Village were all great. None of his movies hold up for a second time. Thats the cool thing, once you watch em, your mind is blown (not so much with Signs, still good though) and you cant watch em again. Didnt see Lady in the Water, but The Last Airbender was god awful, and the Happening was a joke. It made me hate Mark Whalberg because his "acting" and voice were so freaking annoying. 

The only positive thing I can say about the phantom menace is they tried to throw back to what star wars used to be in a couple cases. Yoda was still a muppet (although that have been overwritten, thanks george), it had real Jedi lightsaber battles, and although it failed miserable at doing so, they tried to put together a "rag tag" group that adventured around and had blaster fights. The 2nd prequel felt more like a political drama with every character was pretty much at their own location. Oh, and Phantom proved John Williams can still make a awesome movie score. I am really trying my hardest to compliment that turd of a film.

I like most M Night movies, but Unbreakable is the only one I watched more than once, I loved the comic undertones of the film. The happening was simply not happening. I thought it was a cool concept for a short story, but trying to make an action movie about trees shaking at you is beyond lame. Airbender was about the worst acting I have seen in years with exception to Wahlburg in the Happening, but I can't blame him. If a director told me to act how I would react to a tree shaking at me menacingly, I wouldn't know what to do either. I saw lady in the water, and as long as you accept that was designed as a self parody and a slap at all M Night haters, it is great. I also saw devil, and although it was a mediocre film, I loved how oldschool it was that almost the whole thing took place in an elevator. It reminded me of an old Hitchcock in that regard.

[Vigo]

Devil was okay but he didn't direct it.  Don't be one of those "Tim Burton's best movie is Nightmare Before Christmas" people.

Didn't know that. M night's name was slapped all over the film. IMDB tells me he wrote it though, which is much more than most producers.

[Trip]

The problem with M Night's movie is from about the middle til the credits roll.  They all have potential but he completely blows his load after getting the initial idea for the movie.  He needs to get a better writer to develop the story so it actually progresses and ends decent.

Sixth Sense was predictable, figured out  he was dead fast and said to my wife "Yep, he's dead."  Ruined the movie for her.    

Didn't like Signs in the slightest, everything was just way too WTF about that movie.  WTF were the aliens doing?  Were they just on some kind of massive acid trip or smoking blunts and got an idea to scare the pants off the stupid humans only to lose to getting hit with WATER? 

Head Alien: Hey, I got an idea, even though we have the technology to travel to all sorts of planets, let's attack a world that's covered and RAINS the ---steaming pile of meadow muffin--- that can easily kill us and not wear anything to protect ourselves. 

Yes Man Alien:  Fan F'in Tastic idea Fred, then we can poke holes in the wood and run around while they figure out we don't like water....

Unbreakable just upset me because of it's wasted potential.  Village was the same way.

[Donkbaca]

Devil was nothing at all like a Hitchcock film

[Vigo]

I was only referring to the aspect that 90% of the film was in only one location, but was still suspenseful and plot-filled. I was mostly comparing to a few hitchcock films like Rope or Rear window, but it is also an element in films like 12 Angry Men or Wait Until Dark.

[Donkbaca]

I was only referring to the aspect that 90% of the film was in only one location

That's not very Hitchcock

[Vigo]

I was only referring to the aspect that 90% of the film was in only one location

That's not very Hitchcock

Have you seen rope or rear window?

[Trip]

Better ending to Signs

[elkameleon]

Mortal Kombat: Annihilation

[lordnacho]

Snakes on a Plane

NSFW

[fallacy]

You guys think the fact that aligns did not like water was the gimmicky part about signs? really? No really that is what you think? How about that fact that aliens attacking was supposed to be a world wide event yet the movie acts like there pointless little farm house is the main hub of events! You have naked aliens with no machines or weapons sticking their hand under there basement door like the boogie man… Just WTF!!  Here’s an idea? Shoot a double barrel shotgun through the door that will take care of it! Does every house in America get their own alien creeping around like Santa Clause?

That’s not an attack that is scavenging. The fact that they are scavenging naked and along on a new planet, and getting caught in people pantries means they are incredibly stupid. They might even be stupider then the people that think the fact that the aliens did not like water is what made this movie suck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[yotsuya]

You guys think the fact that aligns did not like water was the gimmicky part about signs? really? No really that is what you think? How about that fact that aliens attacking was supposed to be a world wide event yet the movie acts like there pointless little farm house is the main hub of events! You have naked aliens with no machines or weapons sticking their hand under there basement door like the boogie man… Just WTF!!  Here’s an idea? Shoot a double barrel shotgun through the door that will take care of it! Does every house in America get their own alien creeping around like Santa Clause?

That’s not an attack that is scavenging. The fact that they are scavenging naked and along on a new planet, and getting caught in people pantries means they are incredibly stupid. They might even be stupider then the people that think the fact that the aliens did not like water is what made this movie suck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You forgot some ones in that line of exclamation points, bro.

[shmokes]

What I love most about signs . . . very very most, is that the TVs are tuned to the news throughout a large portion of the movie. And the newscasters politely stop talking whenever one of the movie characters want to talk, and then they continue with their newscast as soon as Mel or Jaoquin (or however it's spelled) are finished. Seriously it's one of those things that are easy to miss, but once you hear it you can't unhear it. You notice it every time it happens and it's pretty jarring.

[Trip]

You guys think the fact that aligns did not like water was the gimmicky part about signs? really? No really that is what you think? How about that fact that aliens attacking was supposed to be a world wide event yet the movie acts like there pointless little farm house is the main hub of events! You have naked aliens with no machines or weapons sticking their hand under there basement door like the boogie man… Just WTF!!  Here’s an idea? Shoot a double barrel shotgun through the door that will take care of it! Does every house in America get their own alien creeping around like Santa Clause?

That’s not an attack that is scavenging. The fact that they are scavenging naked and along on a new planet, and getting caught in people pantries means they are incredibly stupid. They might even be stupider then the people that think the fact that the aliens did not like water is what made this movie suck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry, I tried to get the point across that the aliens were effing stupid with the dropping acid comment and the poking holes in the wood instead of attacking.  LOL

There were a lot of stupid aspects in that movie to wrap up in a single post.

[shmokes]

Yeah, I'm sure if a hostile alien race was menacing the earth in general and my family in particular my daughter would start walking around in a daze putting cups and bowls of water all over every horizontal surface in the house, and everyone else in the family would act pretty much oblivious to her behavior. Very realistic.

The movie is not good.

[Bootay]

What I love most about signs . . . very very most, is that the TVs are tuned to the news throughout a large portion of the movie. And the newscasters politely stop talking whenever one of the movie characters want to talk, and then they continue with their newscast as soon as Mel or Jaoquin (or however it's spelled) are finished. Seriously it's one of those things that are easy to miss, but once you hear it you can't unhear it. You notice it every time it happens and it's pretty jarring.

Hmm...I've only watched the movie once and didn't really care for it much. I need to watch it again and see if I notice this.

[Hoopz]

Gymkata.  Worst. Movie. Ever.

[Le Chuck]

Gymkata.  Worst. Movie. Ever.

Disqualified!  Gymkata is so bad it's good. I can narry ponder a happier saturday morning from my childhood than eating a cauldron of lucky charms and watching Gymkata on the superstation.  My father would stop his marathon yard work so we could go inside and catch this horrid little gem in all it's glory.   

[Bootay]

hehehe I used to love Gymkata along with all ninja/martial arts based movies in the 80s. I recently watched Gymkata again and it is BAD..but since I loved it as a kid I can't hate it.

Other movies that are bad but I loved as a kid are American Ninja and Ninja III: The Domination. Both are so bad they are good. Revenge of the Ninja however is BADASS 80s cheese. LOL

[lordnacho]

It's like you know me.  I was obsessed with the Ninja movies as a kid.  I tried to rewatch Ninja 3 recently, so so so awful.

[Bootay]

Ninja III is bad but you gotta love the golf course scene. So many WTF moments it's great.

[lordnacho]

watching now

[Bootay]

Yea, that's the censored version. In europe they cut all the ninja star throwing out for some reason. Here's the real version:

[shmokes]

Lol . . . that's awesome.

[Mikezilla]

How about Ice Pirates or Alan Quatermain?!

[Bootay]

Ice Pirates was another movie I liked as a kid, but I haven't watched it since I was a kid so no clue how I would like it today. I think I have it on my media center. I should try and watch it. 

[Mikezilla]

I watched it a few months ago. There were 2 scenes I laughed ---my bottom--- off. 1, was the space herpes scene, and the other was when a robot got knocked off a catwalk and it did the robot on the way down. Im laughing just thinking about it. 

[fallacy]

Ninja III: The Domination review

http://cinemassacre.com/2012/03/11/ninja-iii-the-domination-1984/

[Bootay]

Ninja III: The Domination review

http://cinemassacre.com/2012/03/11/ninja-iii-the-domination-1984/

Yep. I watched that before. I don't care what anyone thinks. Them 80s ninja movies are awesome.

[J_K_M_A_N]

Anyone see No Retreat, No Surrender with Jean-Claude Van Damme? I liked it as a kid (knowing how bad it was even then). I watched it with my son when he was about 12 and we laughed quite a bit. I still jump through it from time to time.

J_K_M_A_N

[fallacy]

Anyone see No Retreat, No Surrender with Jean-Claude Van Damme? I liked it as a kid (knowing how bad it was even then). I watched it with my son when he was about 12 and we laughed quite a bit. I still jump through it from time to time.

Yep that was actually one of my favorite movies as a kid! Even then I knew how bad the acting was but it did not stop me from watching it over and over and over again.

Funny that they are showing Van Damme on the main cover of the DVD. I did not even know it was him in it until a while later. He was really only the main boss battle at the end, I think this was his first movie.

[elkameleon]

Arnold Schwarzenegger in Commando! This movie has some great lines! I totally had a crush on Alyssa Milano in this movie... I was like 6 when I saw it, so gimme a break!

[wp34]

Arnold Schwarzenegger in Commando! This movie has some great lines! I totally had a crush on Alyssa Milano in this movie... I was like 6 when I saw it, so gimme a break!

Man I feel old. I saw Commando in the theater.   

Awesome movie.  I love in the credits when they show Arnold and Milano feeding a deer by hand.   

[Le Chuck]

Arnold Schwarzenegger in Commando! This movie has some great lines! I totally had a crush on Alyssa Milano in this movie... I was like 6 when I saw it, so gimme a break!

- What did you say to Sully? 

- I let him go. 

[Bootay]

Hey this thread is supposed to be about bad movies, Commando is awesome. Arnold was pure gold in the 80s. The worst Arnold movie ever is "Hercules in New York"...now that's a bad movie. It was from 1970 and it was Arnold's first movie. The best part, the American version dubbed his voice because of his accent.

Hercules in New York (1970) Trailer.

[DNA Dan]

Anyone mention Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn?

[Paladin]

Anyone mention Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn?

Hahaha!  I got free tickets to the local theater premier of that one, in 3D!  If I remember right every single car that crashes blows up.  I also remember shouting 'shoot the goo' when the green stuff came out of the dudes arm.  Man I'm getting old!

[wp34]

Wow, after attempting to watch it today, I want to throw the Sherlock Holmes 2 movie into the consideration pile. 

It was borderline Captain America bad. 

 

The Captain America movie is awesome.  You must be talking about the old TV series.

[shmokes]

The Captain America movie is awesome.  You must be talking about the old TV series.

LMAO. How . . . I mean HOW IN GOD'S NAME could anyone think that? I'm no PBJ. I loved Hellboy 1, Spiderman 1 & 2, X-Men 1 & 2 (and First Class), Iron Man 1, Kick Ass, Unbreakable, Sin City, American Splendor, Watchmen, Batman, Batman Begins/Dark Knight, A History of Violence. Maybe A History of Violence and American Splendor are out of place on the list since they're not traditional superhero stories, but regardless . . . I'm a sucker for comic book movies. With that said, Captain America is easily the worst movie I've seen in the last three years, maybe longer. If it were any worse it would be Plan-9-From-Outer-Space bad. Unfortunately, that's not the case. It's just bad.

[Vigo]

You must not have seen the Green Lantern then.

[Green Giant]

The Captain America movie is awesome.  You must be talking about the old TV series.

LMAO. How . . . I mean HOW IN GOD'S NAME could anyone think that? I'm no PBJ. I loved Hellboy 1, Spiderman 1 & 2, X-Men 1 & 2 (and First Class), Iron Man 1, Kick Ass, Unbreakable, Sin City, American Splendor, Watchmen, Batman, Batman Begins/Dark Knight, A History of Violence. Maybe A History of Violence and American Splendor are out of place on the list since they're not traditional superhero stories, but regardless . . . I'm a sucker for comic book movies. With that said, Captain America is easily the worst movie I've seen in the last three years, maybe longer. If it were any worse it would be Plan-9-From-Outer-Space bad. Unfortunately, that's not the case. It's just bad.

What about it?

I am so confused.  I mean I can understand someone hating it, but what I don't understand is how you can like all of those movies you listed and hate Captain America so much.

You aren't talking about the cheesy one from 1990 are you?

[Well Fed Games]

The Captain America movie is awesome.  You must be talking about the old TV series.

LMAO. How . . . I mean HOW IN GOD'S NAME could anyone think that? I'm no PBJ. I loved Hellboy 1, Spiderman 1 & 2, X-Men 1 & 2 (and First Class), Iron Man 1, Kick Ass, Unbreakable, Sin City, American Splendor, Watchmen, Batman, Batman Begins/Dark Knight, A History of Violence. Maybe A History of Violence and American Splendor are out of place on the list since they're not traditional superhero stories, but regardless . . . I'm a sucker for comic book movies. With that said, Captain America is easily the worst movie I've seen in the last three years, maybe longer. If it were any worse it would be Plan-9-From-Outer-Space bad. Unfortunately, that's not the case. It's just bad.

I'm right with you on your "likes" but thought C.A. was a fine superhero movie... not the best, not the worst. Certainly better than Green Lantern. Thor... I fell asleep during. Kind of disappointed that the plot of Thor is going to influence the Avengers so much. I give superhero movies a lot of grace because, hey, I wanted them since I was a kid. But Fantastic Four II, and making Galactus into a big cloud? THAT was a bad superhero movie.

[Mikezilla]

The Captain America movie is awesome.  You must be talking about the old TV series.

LMAO. How . . . I mean HOW IN GOD'S NAME could anyone think that? I'm no PBJ. I loved Hellboy 1, Spiderman 1 & 2, X-Men 1 & 2 (and First Class), Iron Man 1, Kick Ass, Unbreakable, Sin City, American Splendor, Watchmen, Batman, Batman Begins/Dark Knight, A History of Violence. Maybe A History of Violence and American Splendor are out of place on the list since they're not traditional superhero stories, but regardless . . . I'm a sucker for comic book movies. With that said, Captain America is easily the worst movie I've seen in the last three years, maybe longer. If it were any worse it would be Plan-9-From-Outer-Space bad. Unfortunately, that's not the case. It's just bad.

I'm right with you on your "likes" but thought C.A. was a fine superhero movie... not the best, not the worst. Certainly better than Green Lantern. Thor... I fell asleep during. Kind of disappointed that the plot of Thor is going to influence the Avengers so much. I give superhero movies a lot of grace because, hey, I wanted them since I was a kid. But Fantastic Four II, and making Galactus into a big cloud? THAT was a bad superhero movie.

  I didnt think Captain America was THAT bad. I think the biggest flaw in C.A. was the casting. I still couldnt wrap my head around the reasoning for casting the Human Torch into Captain America. He isnt even blonde.  Green Lantern was garbage, best thing about that was Blake Lively and even she was annoying. Both FF's were terrible, glad I didnt see em in theatres. Im stoked for Avengers, I just hope they get the Hulk right, and dont focus on Hawkeye or Black Widow at all. Well, they can focus on certain parts of Black Widow I guess... 

[SNAAKE]

new captain america wasnt even bad. if thats THE worst you've seen in last 3 years then you dont watch much. Id say it was pretty average with unnecessary 3D. hugo weaving in any movie is auto win

[fallacy]

LMAO. How . . . I mean HOW IN GOD'S NAME could anyone think that? I'm no PBJ. I loved Hellboy 1, Spiderman 1 & 2, X-Men 1 & 2 (and First Class), Iron Man 1, Kick Ass, Unbreakable, Sin City, American Splendor, Watchmen, Batman, Batman Begins/Dark Knight, A History of Violence. Maybe A History of Violence and American Splendor are out of place on the list since they're not traditional superhero stories, but regardless . . . I'm a sucker for comic book movies. With that said, Captain America is easily the worst movie I've seen in the last three years, maybe longer. If it were any worse it would be Plan-9-From-Outer-Space bad. Unfortunately, that's not the case. It's just bad.

I think we pretty much share the exact same mind when it comes to movies and TV shows. I thought Chris Evans did a great job at portraying Captain America. I also like how they had Starks dad in it and how he almost invited flying cars that must have fell through. What killed the movies was that typical pointless forgettable bad guy. This is not James Bond knock it off with that crap! I hate James Bond...

What was even worse was Green Lantern. I usually like everything Ryan Reynolds does but he just down right sucked at playing Green Lantern. I don’t know why his character was so off but damm…work it out.

If we really want to talk about sh*t movies try watching Conan the Barbarian (2011) and Immortals (2011)

[shmokes]

You must not have seen the Green Lantern then.

Correct. And I don't doubt it was worse than Captain America. Same goes for the FF films. Some movies are just so obviously horrible that the decision to skip them altogether is an easy one. By that's faint praise for the piece of nonstop garbage that was Captain America.

new captain america wasnt even bad. if thats THE worst you've seen in last 3 years then you dont watch much. Id say it was pretty average with unnecessary 3D. hugo weaving in any movie is auto win

What are you talking about? What's so great about Hugo Weaving? He plays exactly one role--Agent Smith. He was good in the Matrix. The second two Matrix movies were godawful. He was fine in V for Vendetta, but that's largely because he seemed less like Agent Smith with a Guy Fawkes mask on throughout the entire film. He was HORRIBLE in Lord or the Rings (hint: because he played the elf king as Agent Smith). What else is there? Happy Feet? Horrible. The Wolfman? Crap. Transformers? Are you joking? And his performance in Captain America (Agent Smith with an inexplicably beat-red face) was so awful it seemed to be deliberate comedy. Yeah . . . rather than an auto win, with only a couple of exceptions everything Hugo Weaving has ever done has been garbage.

[Vigo]

I figure we threashed out the captain america debate on too many threads already, so I am not gonna say much. I wanted to just point out how entertaining it is reading your rants, shmokes. Even if I completely disagree, I can feel the seething hate from your Captain America rage all the way over here. It is like you would rather sand your face with a belt sander than watch that movie again.

[drventure]

What's so great about Hugo Weaving? He plays exactly one role--Agent Smith. ...He was HORRIBLE in Lord or the Rings (hint: because he played the elf king as Agent Smith).

 

We just wanted Fellowship of the Ring again over the weekend. My daughter had never seen it.

Ever scene with Weaving in it, I was thinking this +exact+ thought. Agent Smith with long blonde hair.

[Vigo]

I remember the time I was watching LOTR in the theater with my wife (I think it was two towers). In the scene where Hugo Weaving and Vigo Mortensen meet up, I put on my best Agent Smith impression and leaned to my wife and said: "Mister Aragorn."

My wife broke out in a full laughter and it caused everyone around to stare. She was so embarrassed. I never let her forget that one. Hehe.

Goes to show, agent smith was on both our minds as well. 

[drventure]

 

The thing is, since Agent Smith is such an iconic character, and The Matrix such a good film, I sometimes wonder if it's that, and not Weaving's performance capabilities (or lack thereof) that cause that reaction.

Still, Elrond seemed awfully Smithesque

[wp34]

The Captain America movie is awesome.  You must be talking about the old TV series.

LMAO. How . . . I mean HOW IN GOD'S NAME could anyone think that? I'm no PBJ. I loved Hellboy 1, Spiderman 1 & 2, X-Men 1 & 2 (and First Class), Iron Man 1, Kick Ass, Unbreakable, Sin City, American Splendor, Watchmen, Batman, Batman Begins/Dark Knight, A History of Violence. Maybe A History of Violence and American Splendor are out of place on the list since they're not traditional superhero stories, but regardless . . . I'm a sucker for comic book movies. With that said, Captain America is easily the worst movie I've seen in the last three years, maybe longer. If it were any worse it would be Plan-9-From-Outer-Space bad. Unfortunately, that's not the case. It's just bad.

I liked it.  I read the comic as a kid and it evoked what I remembered liking about the character.  I was shocked they kept the WWII story line and really felt that added to the movie. It allowed them to keep the patriotic angle of the character. Tommy Lee Jones was great as always.  Having Stark's dad in it was also cool as well.  The villain was weak but that didn't ruin the movie. 

Okay I'll downgrade it to fantastic.

[GibsonRiddler]

All the sequels to Highlander.

[Le Chuck]

All the sequels to Highlander.

Quit polluting my reality with your heresy.  There are no sequels to Highlander and there was no television show.  Connor Macleod was born in Scotland and later defeated the Kurgan the end. 

[Vigo]

Highlander needs to take it's own advice: "There can be only one!"

[shmokes]

Tommy Lee Jones was great as always.

The film actually had lots of good actors. Tommy Lee Jones is great and I love Stanley Tucci. I even have a soft spot for Hugo Weaving, to be honest, mainly because of Agent Smith, though. Unfortunately, the good supporting cast (Weaving excluded) couldn't outweigh the awful casting of Chris Evans in the main role, or the ridiculous script, or the terrible directing. Also the source material pretty lame, but that wouldn't matter in the hands of a talented writer/director. Hell, even the lame choice of Chris Evans might not have mattered with a good script and a good director. Christopher Nolan has proven that twice. Christian Bale is a terrible Batman (which is strange cos he's a talented actor), but his two Batman movies have been great.

[wp34]

Highlander needs to take it's own advice: "There can be only one!"

That's pretty good.   

[Mikezilla]

I figure we threashed out the captain america debate on too many threads already, so I am not gonna say much. I wanted to just point out how entertaining it is reading your rants, shmokes. Even if I completely disagree, I can feel the seething hate from your Captain America rage all the way over here. It is like you would rather sand your face with a belt sander than watch that movie again.

Seriously, damn, its almost comical! I also love the Shmokes totally berates the person into thinking they are retarded because of his superioroty complex. By love, I mean hate, because its annoying.   

[knave]

All the sequels to Highlander.

... and there was no television show...

C'mon the TV show wasn't That bad. I enjoyed it until they took it too far...

[Vigo]

I figure we threashed out the captain america debate on too many threads already, so I am not gonna say much. I wanted to just point out how entertaining it is reading your rants, shmokes. Even if I completely disagree, I can feel the seething hate from your Captain America rage all the way over here. It is like you would rather sand your face with a belt sander than watch that movie again.

Seriously, damn, its almost comical! I also love the Shmokes totally berates the person into thinking they are retarded because of his superioroty complex. By love, I mean hate, because its annoying.   

 

[shmokes]

Seriously, damn, its almost comical! I also love the Shmokes totally berates the person into thinking they are retarded because of his superioroty complex. By love, I mean hate, because its annoying.   

Lol . . . I'm berating a movie, not a person. It's not my fault if you feel guilty for having bad taste.   

[Mikezilla]

Seriously, damn, its almost comical! I also love the Shmokes totally berates the person into thinking they are retarded because of his superioroty complex. By love, I mean hate, because its annoying.   

Lol . . . I'm berating a movie, not a person. It's not my fault if you feel guilty for having bad taste.   

Cmon man you know what I mean. Its all good, Im just saying, I think its funny.  I personally didnt mind Weavings acting in LoTR because it was so minimal. How else are you supposed to act as king of the elves? If anything, blame Peter Jackson.

[shmokes]

If anything, blame Peter Jackson.

That's not nice! Why do you want to protect Weaving, but not Jackson?   

Seriously . . . I'm sure Jackson deserves some of the blame, but Weaving was the only one to play his character as Agent Smith, whereas many other actors delivered pitch-perfect performances (especially Ian McKellan). So I tend to blame Weaving. But who knows . . . maybe Jackson just loved Agent Smith and specifically said, "Just play this exactly the way you did Matrix . . . that's perfect!"

[Vigo]

As long as they didn't rewrite the script to make him "Agent Elrond". Instead of having him walk places, you see some random elf in the background have a head seizure and turn into Elrond. Lazy ass digital elf king......

[Grasshopper]

All the sequels to Highlander.

Lol. Couldn't agree more. The bizarre thing about the Highlander sequels is the way they decided to completely rewrite all the rules. It's almost as if the sequel writers hadn't actually bothered seeing the first film, and just guessed what it was about from the title. They might just have got away with it, except for the fact that they didn't actually bother explaining what the new rules were!

[JayB]

hehehe I used to love Gymkata along with all ninja/martial arts based movies in the 80s. I recently watched Gymkata again and it is BAD..but since I loved it as a kid I can't hate it.

Other movies that are bad but I loved as a kid are American Ninja and Ninja III: The Domination. Both are so bad they are good. Revenge of the Ninja however is BADASS 80s cheese. LOL

Ninja III, same girl as in Breakdance     Ice Pirates is great

[Le Chuck]

Breakin 2 Electric Boogaloo

Gangs in pastels coming together to clean up the town through the majesty of dance.  Plus there is a random rotating room scene that is a total precursor to Inception. Horrid movie because it takes itself seriously.

[Bootay]

hehehe I used to love Gymkata along with all ninja/martial arts based movies in the 80s. I recently watched Gymkata again and it is BAD..but since I loved it as a kid I can't hate it.

Other movies that are bad but I loved as a kid are American Ninja and Ninja III: The Domination. Both are so bad they are good. Revenge of the Ninja however is BADASS 80s cheese. LOL

Ninja III, same girl as in Breakdance     Ice Pirates is great

Yea...it was Breakin' not Breakdance. But whatever. hehe Yes same girl. I haven't seen Breakin' since I was a child, but I still watch Ninja III...so ridiculous it's awesome.

[garnerb350]

Not just Breakin 2, what bout Breakin?

Dont forget this gem...

This is the story of a young M.Bison before he had his sights on Shadaloo, and Pvt. Guile was on a recon mission...

[yotsuya]

Not just Breakin 2, what bout Breakin?

Dont forget this gem...

This is the story of a young M.Bison before he had his sights on Shadaloo, and Pvt. Guile was on a recon mission...

Don't ---fudgesicle--- with Breakin'. My parents actually took my sister and I to go see that one!!!

[lordnacho]

 

[Le Chuck]

When I was 8 years old I won a break dancing competition after tirelessly practiced moves seen on Breakin'

My older sister took me to see that in theatre three times. 

Probably shouldn't have shared that...

[yotsuya]

When I was 8 years old I won a break dancing competition...

 

[wp34]

When I was 8 years old I won a break dancing competition after tirelessly practiced moves seen on Breakin'

My older sister took me to see that in theatre three times. 

Probably shouldn't have shared that...

If you would have said 16 that might have been funny.  Eight years old is pretty darn cool.   

[Rando]

Gangs in pastels coming together to clean up the town through the majesty of dance.

Best representation of Gangs in films is from "The Warriors".

Gangs dressed up like baseball players, gangs all roller-skates, all girl gangs... Awesome!

Cheesy today, but at the time it was people's first look at "gang-life" and reports of violence and vandelism in and around theaters showing the movie prompted added security, limited marketing, etc.

Count me as a vote to see footage of LeChuck Breakin'!

[yotsuya]

Count me as a vote to see footage of LeChuck Breakin'!

Yeah, I'm sure he hasn't forgotten the moves. C'mon, Chuck, for old time's sake!

[Hoopz]

Gangs in pastels coming together to clean up the town through the majesty of dance.

Best representation of Gangs in films is from "The Warriors".

Gangs dressed up like baseball players, gangs all roller-skates, all girl gangs... Awesome!

Cheesy today, but at the time it was people's first look at "gang-life" and reports of violence and vandelism in and around theaters showing the movie prompted added security, limited marketing, etc.

Count me as a vote to see footage of LeChuck Breakin'!

Easily one of the best movies from the 70s.  One of my top 10 movies.

[Malenko]

If you would have said 16 that might have been funny.  Eight years old is pretty darn cool.   

No kidding.  Haters gonna hate.

and potatoes gonna potate

[wp34]

When I was 8 years old I won a break dancing competition after tirelessly practiced moves seen on Breakin'

When I was 7 years old I built a 1/16th scale fully playable Space War.   

[Le Chuck]

When I was 8 years old I won a break dancing competition after tirelessly practiced moves seen on Breakin'

When I was 7 years old I built a 1/16th scale fully playable Space War.   

Well I build a 2000 liter bottle of wine and some big hulk hands and tricked the world.  Poppin' and lockin' baby. 

[yotsuya]

"Ain't no stopping' Le Chuck (No stooooooopin')"

[Vigo]

Le Chuck needs to buy one of these T-shirts.

[Le Chuck]

Le Chuck needs to buy one of these T-shirts.

LINK NOW!

"Ain't no stopping' Le Chuck (No stooooooopin')"

Never ever should have mentioned my mad dance skills around you. 

[Vigo]

http://donrobot.spreadshirt.com/lechuck

[DNA Dan]

ROFL!! You guys crack me up!

Special K was just so... sultry!  Gotta love that spandex.

[selfie]

Captain America was bad but I thought it was watchable just...

The Avengers is awesome though.

[Gray_Area]

Howard the Duck was kind of fun. That's pure 80s cheese, without being Buckaroo Banzai ridiculous.

Yesterday I was thinking, instead of a worst movies thread, a great movies of the 80s thread...

[Vigo]

I agree, but I think Howard the duck had maybe one too many WTF moments to gain a real cult following. Disturbing things like duck tits. 

[Gray_Area]

I agree, but I think Howard the duck had maybe one too many WTF moments to gain a real cult following. Disturbing things like duck tits. 

It was an adult comedy. That was a strong point.

[Vigo]

With a PG rating.   

There were random perverted duck sex jokes were thown in the middle of gags and one liners geared to 7 year olds. Its like watching ninja turtles with a creepy uncle who is constantly brining up comments about the turtles and splinter having a sewer orgy. It may have been an adult joke, but it wasn't that funny to begin with, and the fact that he keeps pushing that angle makes it unsettling.

I think the adult part of the movie was its weakest trait. Otherwise I enjoy it on a silly, campy level.

[Gray_Area]

With a PG rating.   

There were random perverted duck sex jokes were thown in the middle of gags and one liners geared to 7 year olds. Its like watching ninja turtles with a creepy uncle who is constantly brining up comments about the turtles and splinter having a sewer orgy. It may have been an adult joke, but it wasn't that funny to begin with, and the fact that he keeps pushing that angle makes it unsettling.

I think the adult part of the movie was its weakest trait. Otherwise I enjoy it on a silly, campy level.

Raiders of the Lost Ark had fairly grissly stuff in it, profanity....what else?.....and it was PG. Lots of movies in the 70s and early 80s had everything but '---fudgesicle---' in them and they were PG.

But that's not sexual inuendo, right. Because that's just weirder.

My judgement panel has George Carlin and Frank Zappa on it.

[wp34]

With a PG rating.   

There were random perverted duck sex jokes were thown in the middle of gags and one liners geared to 7 year olds. Its like watching ninja turtles with a creepy uncle who is constantly brining up comments about the turtles and splinter having a sewer orgy. It may have been an adult joke, but it wasn't that funny to begin with, and the fact that he keeps pushing that angle makes it unsettling.

I think the adult part of the movie was its weakest trait. Otherwise I enjoy it on a silly, campy level.

Raiders of the Lost Ark had fairly grissly stuff in it, profanity....what else?.....and it was PG. Lots of movies in the 70s and early 80s had everything but '---fudgesicle---' in them and they were PG.

But that's not sexual inuendo, right. Because that's just weirder.

My judgement panel has George Carlin and Frank Zappa on it.

PG-13 wasn't invented until 1984.  Temple of Doom actually helped cause the creation of the PG-13 rating due to the gore in it.

[Le Chuck]

With a PG rating.   

There were random perverted duck sex jokes were thown in the middle of gags and one liners geared to 7 year olds. Its like watching ninja turtles with a creepy uncle who is constantly brining up comments about the turtles and splinter having a sewer orgy. It may have been an adult joke, but it wasn't that funny to begin with, and the fact that he keeps pushing that angle makes it unsettling.

I think the adult part of the movie was its weakest trait. Otherwise I enjoy it on a silly, campy level.

Raiders of the Lost Ark had fairly grissly stuff in it, profanity....what else?.....and it was PG. Lots of movies in the 70s and early 80s had everything but '---fudgesicle---' in them and they were PG.

But that's not sexual inuendo, right. Because that's just weirder.

My judgement panel has George Carlin and Frank Zappa on it.

PG-13 wasn't invented until 1984.  Temple of Doom actually helped cause the creation of the PG-13 rating due to the gore in it.

Aum Namah Shivaya, Aum Namah Shivaya, Aum Namah Shivaya, Aum Namah Shivaya, Aum Namah Shivaya, Aum Namah Shivaya, Aum Namah Shivaya, Aum Namah Shivaya.... KALI MA SHAKTI DE!!!!

[wp34]

Aum Namah Shivaya, Aum Namah Shivaya, Aum Namah Shivaya, Aum Namah Shivaya, Aum Namah Shivaya, Aum Namah Shivaya, Aum Namah Shivaya, Aum Namah Shivaya.... KALI MA SHAKTI DE!!!!

That's a tough quote to work in to everyday life.   

From Temple I always liked "Fortune and glory, kid. Fortune and glory."  When my kids were little that was my answer whenever they asked some odd question I couldn't answer.  That one and "Can I Mambo Dogface to the Banana Patch?"

[garnerb350]

No time for love Dr. Jones...

[Gray_Area]

Ooon topic: Temple of Doom needs to be on the list.

Maybe then they'll stop bringing it up in serious discussions.

[DNA Dan]

What are you guys talking about? Temple of Doom? Seriously there's a million more movies deserving of this title than Temple of Doom, well.... minus the raft scene that is.  

There's always that whining "IIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDDDDYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!" God I think that made me hate women. Just a taste of what was in store after puberty.  

[yotsuya]

What are you guys talking about? Temple of Doom? Seriously there's a million more movies deserving of this title than Temple of Doom, well.... minus the raft scene that is.  

There's always that whining "IIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDDDDYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!" God I think that made me hate women. Just a taste of what was in store after puberty.  

So are you saying Temple of Doom made you gay?*




*Not that there's anything wrong with that

[Le Chuck]

What are you guys talking about? Temple of Doom? Seriously there's a million more movies deserving of this title than Temple of Doom, well.... minus the raft scene that is.  

There's always that whining "IIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDDDDYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!" God I think that made me hate women. Just a taste of what was in store after puberty.  

So are you saying Temple of Doom made you gay?*




*Call me

FTFY

[HaRuMaN]

^ I almost spit coffee on my monitor... thanks...   

[Vigo]

Temple of doom may have been the weakest of the original 3. But it wasn't bad at all....especially considering that Harrison Ford was severely injured for a good portion of the film. Mola Ram continues to be one of my top 10 favorite Movie Bad Guys and to this day I still want a set of bowls made out of monkey heads.

As far as annoying chick, "Willie". Yeah, she was annoying as hell. (And I find hell to be pretty annoying). I thought it was pretty funny that in Lego Indiana Jones, they gave her character the ability to shatter glass with her screaming. 

[lordnacho]

It's crazy to see how different people's tastes are, how some people love a certain movie and some people just absolutely hate it.

Reminds me of a Family Guy scene, where Peter says "I did not care for The Godfather"

[Rando]

It's crazy to see how different people's tastes are, how some people love a certain movie and some people just absolutely hate it.

Reminds me of a Family Guy scene, where Peter says "I did not care for The Godfather"

Ooh,
Can I add Godfather to this list?  Can't watch it.

Temple of Doom, whatchable.  Godfather flicks, shoot me now.

[lordnacho]

No but you can add Garbage Pail Kids, don't think this was mentioned already

[fallacy]

No but you can add Garbage Pail Kids, don't think this was mentioned already

I still have my Garbage Pail Kids

[yotsuya]

Ooh,
Can I add Godfather to this list?  Can't watch it.

Temple of Doom, whatchable.  Godfather flicks, shoot me now.

I will personally be the first one to shoot you. Repeatedly.

[DNA Dan]

So are you saying Temple of Doom made you gay?*

*Not that there's anything wrong with that

Dang. Can't a guy get a break. As a footnote even. 

[Gray_Area]

So are you saying Temple of Doom made you gay?*

*Not that there's anything wrong with that

Dang. Can't a guy get a break. As a footnote even. 

Careful. Someone may break it off in your.....

[DNA Dan]

   Turn around there's nothing to see here.. keep moving folks.

[Rando]

Ooh,
Can I add Godfather to this list?  Can't watch it.

Temple of Doom, whatchable.  Godfather flicks, shoot me now.

I will personally be the first one to shoot you. Repeatedly.

Meh,
The Mob/Mafia annoys me, not a big fan.  Probably has something to do with growing up in the Suburbs with a bunch of Italian friends who each claimed to have some Mafia connections in their family so “watch out”.  The wife (Italian, though no known Mob connections) loves the movies and constantly tries to get me to watch them.  Similar to eating Eggplant, I have no interest.

[Bootay]

I like most mafia movies. The Godfather was slow but had good spots imo. Goodfellas, Casino, Scarface...I tend to like them. Now that I'm old I have trouble staying awake through them though. LOL

[Malenko]

Casino is worth watching if only for Pesci's character. Its didnt get as many award nominations as goodfellahs but I liked it more.

[yotsuya]

I saw Casino three times in the theatre. Having said that, Goodfellas is a better film.

[JayB]

Escape from L.A 

[Gray_Area]

Escape from L.A  

Escape from New York was bad enough. I don't think I saw it in entirety until the last month. It was worse than I remembered.

Carpenter redeemed himself most impressively the next year.

[Vigo]

Escape from L.A  

Escape from New York was bad enough. I don't think I saw it in entirety until the last month. It was worse than I remembered.

Carpenter redeemed himself most impressively the next year.

Hated Temple of Doom and Escape from NY? Man, the 80's must have been hard on you.... 

[shmokes]

The beauty of Rotten Tomatoes. The trailers had me very interested. The reviews erased all trace of interest. I never would've seen that in the theater.

[Hoopz]

Escape from L.A  

Escape from New York was bad enough. I don't think I saw it in entirety until the last month. It was worse than I remembered.

Carpenter redeemed himself most impressively the next year.

Hated Temple of Doom and Escape from NY? Man, the 80's must have been hard on you.... 

+eleventybillion    Escape from NY is a classic.

[Bootay]

I love Escape From NY and Temple of Doom.  I love pretty much all Carpenter films up until the 90s...that's when he started falling off.

[HaRuMaN]

Can we add Dark Shadows to the short list of worst 2012 movies?  If I hadn't been watching it on a  theater hop already I would have been pretty pissed off.

My wife used to watch that, not the original, but the remake that came out later.  She thought they went a completely different direction than the series, and has no desire to see it.

[Le Chuck]

I mean, yeah, I get it, we're all fatigued on Tim Burton and all that but I figured it might have a laugh or two.  Meh.  A good 30 minutes could have been chopped out and the motivation of the antagonist was completely unbelievable.  I only walked in because it was about to start and I couldn't find the theater for Battleship.  Wouldn't have bothered but I didn't feel like I quite got my money's worth out of The Dictator.

Make no mistake, Dark Shadows is unadulterated garbage.  I can't believe critics scored it as high as they did.

Timmy B is bringing us Abe Lincoln Vampire Killer and I gotta say I'm pretty stoked about that one

[shmokes]

I only walked in because it was about to start and I couldn't find the theater for Battleship. 

You don't expect Battleship to have been any better do you . . .

[garnerb350]

Just got word Ryan Reynolds might be Connor McCleod...

http://www.variety.com/article/VR1118054272

[Hoopz]

Just got word Ryan Reynolds might be Connor McCleod...

http://www.variety.com/article/VR1118054272

Son of a )#$(*#.  I didn't know that they were redoing it.  I should have assumed though.

<SIGH>

[wp34]

Just got word Ryan Reynolds might be Connor McCleod...

http://www.variety.com/article/VR1118054272

I'm a fan of his but I hope this doesn't come to pass.  There is more to lose than gain by rebooting Highlander.  If they must persist I like Thomas Jane.  He even looks like Christopher Lambert.

I was hoping Reynolds would get the Fletch reboot that was kicked around a few years ago.  We would do a good job with that role.

[Bootay]

I can't ever take Ryan Reynolds serious.

[shmokes]

He was pretty good in Drive, I guess.

 

Can't tell if you're joking, but in case not the guy in Drive is Ryan Gosling.

[Le Chuck]

He was pretty good in Drive, I guess.

 

Can't tell if you're joking, but in case not the guy in Drive is Ryan Gosling.

Ohhh, Reynolds is the one taking over for Dick Clark for the ball drop? 

[Rando]

He was pretty good in Drive, I guess.

 

Can't tell if you're joking, but in case not the guy in Drive is Ryan Gosling.

Ohhh, Reynolds is the one taking over for Dick Clark for the ball drop? 

Lol!  That's Seacrest!

Reynolds is the one from that bad Green Lantern movie!

[Vigo]

He was pretty good in Drive, I guess.

 

Can't tell if you're joking, but in case not the guy in Drive is Ryan Gosling.

Ohhh, Reynolds is the one taking over for Dick Clark for the ball drop? 

Lol!  That's Seacrest!

Reynolds is the one from that bad Green Lantern movie!

Also famous for his aluminum foil wrap.

[Gray_Area]

Escape from L.A 

Escape from New York was bad enough. I don't think I saw it in entirety until the last month. It was worse than I remembered.

Carpenter redeemed himself most impressively the next year.

Hated Temple of Doom and Escape from NY? Man, the 80's must have been hard on you.... 

+eleventybillion    Escape from NY is a classic.

It's a classic cult C movie.

I love 80s movies. I just don't care for crappy ones.

[fallacy]

I just stumbled across this guy. I thought it was pretty funny. He also talks about Signs.

[Malenko]

I just stumbled across this guy. I thought it was pretty funny. He also talks about Signs.

Epic that you thought we'd watch 45 minutes of this guy blabbering. Did you pirate all 10 movies to see if you agreed? You thought this guy was funny? really? when?
His list:
Cars, Gladiator, American Pie, Avatard, With Honors, Signs, Nell, Matilda, District 9, Moulin Rouge.

so 2 kids movies, 4 movies Ive never seen (matilda is both a kids movie and one I havent seen) the only one on his list I really like is Gladiator. the rest are meh at best.


Also , Escape from LA is a cheesy awesomeness. Jumping off a surf board into a car? ys pls

[wp34]

Did you pirate all 10 movies to see if you agreed?

 

[shmokes]

The guy is clearly a moron anyway. With Honors got a 17% tomatorating on Rotten Tomatoes. I'd hardly characterize that as a movie "everyone loves". Moreover, Avatar was like 83%. American Pie is 61%, two points off of a rotten rating. Signs and Gladiator got 74% and 78% respectively. Cars also had a 74% rating. Nell is rotten at 53%. Moulin Rouge had mixed reviews, garnering 74%.

In other words, almost every movie on this list has highly mixed reviews, or even near-universally bad reviews in the case of With Honors.

Also, a person has to be both dumb and aggressively joyless to not like Matilda. It's almost akin to disliking The Princess Bride.



Edit: Also I just hit play and listened to him for about 2 minutes. What an obnoxious dork.

[Rando]

His list:

Cars - For kids but Good
Gladiator - Bloody but Good
American Pie - Juvenile but Good
Avatar - Overrated but Good
With Honors - Must be not Good, never heard of it
Signs - Don't care
Nell - Must not be Good, never heard of it, makes me think of "Nell Carter" so can't be good
Matilda - For kids but don't care
District 9 - Wanted to see, heard it was meh, still kinda want to see, probably never will, low expectations
Moulin Rouge - Wife likes it

There you go, and I didn't take 45 minutes. 

[shmokes]

From what I watched he made exactly zero salient points. He just pointed out incredibly obvious things, views already held by a bajillion people, while waving his arms around and acting incredulous. Not that what he was saying isn't true. It just isn't remotely novel or interesting or timely. Also, I skipped ahead to what he had to say about Matilda. The guy is an idiot.

[fallacy]

Cars - For kids but Good
Gladiator - Bloody but Good
American Pie - Juvenile but Good
Avatar - Overrated but Good
With Honors - Must be not Good, never heard of it
Signs - Don't care
Nell - Must not be Good, never heard of it, makes me think of "Nell Carter" so can't be good
Matilda - For kids but don't care
District 9 - Wanted to see, heard it was meh, still kinda want to see, probably never will, low expectations
Moulin Rouge - Wife likes it

There you go, and I didn't take 45 minutes.  Grin

That’s not the point you have to explain why it was not a good movie otherwise it’s meaningless. I thought he explained himself good enough. I have always liked Gladiator but he made some good points on why some people would think it sucks.

From what I watched he made exactly zero salient points. He just pointed out incredibly obvious things, views already held by a bajillion people, while waving his arms around and acting incredulous. Not that what he was saying isn't true. It just isn't remotely novel or interesting or timely. Also, I skipped ahead to what he had to say about Matilda. The guy is an idiot.

Shmokes I am serious, I really want to see you make a Rant Video. Pick any movie topic; 5 best, 5 worst. It can be as simple as why Captain America Sucks. Let’s see the superior intelligence of Shmokes in action.

[shmokes]

I really want you to send me two round-trip tickets from Washington, D.C. to Tokyo. The entire month of July would work well for me. I'm serious.

[Bootay]

I was immediately turned off within the first min. of the video, when he started spazzing out. But as far as the list goes, I like Cars and Gladiator. They both entertained me. Not so much on the rest. I tried to watch District 9 and Avatar and just couldn't get into either of them...not sure why. I tried watching both on more than one occasion and fall asleep every time before the first 30 mins are up.

[Vigo]

I'm kinda surprised nobody brought up any Harry Potter films yet....a few of them were pretty darn awful and confusing as hell to people that never pre-read the book.

[popsicle]

Even that guy's wife wants to give him a wedgie.

[fallacy]

I really want you to send me two round-trip tickets from Washington, D.C. to Tokyo. The entire month of July would work well for me. I'm serious.

Calling someone an idiot for giving their opinion, while fully well knowing if you tried to do it yourself it would be far more stupid sounding and dull means you’re nothing but a Troll.

[DCsegaDH]

I agree with most of what the guy from the video was talking about. Most of the movies he mentioned like Cars, Gladiator and Avatar have a cliched story that has been done so many times.

[shmokes]

I really want you to send me two round-trip tickets from Washington, D.C. to Tokyo. The entire month of July would work well for me. I'm serious.

Calling someone an idiot for giving their opinion, while fully well knowing if you tried to do it yourself it would be far more stupid sounding and dull means you’re nothing but a Troll.

It disappoints me to read that. My judgment of him was so much more nuanced than that.    I didn't call him an idiot for giving his opinion. I called him an idiot for holding those particular opinions. His delivery is also terrible, but that's not what makes him an idiot. That just makes him obnoxious. And my own skill or lack thereof at the "rant video" wouldn't make him any less so.

By the way, when you're at a restaurant and you put something foul into your mouth, do you withhold judgment until you get home and try to cook that particular dish yourself? If yours turns out worse, do you conclude that what you put in your mouth at the restaurant was actually pleasant after all?

[Gray_Area]

Nell - ...makes me think of "Nell Carter"

Hahahahah, I know, huh?!  I hadn't such a strong vision till you mentioned it, though.

I thought American Pie was funny. The 00s version of Porky's, and worth it. I think it completed the 'need', though.

Most of those others I haven't seen, haven't heard of, or didn't like.

[Trip]

I'm kinda surprised nobody brought up any Harry Potter films yet....a few of them were pretty darn awful and confusing as hell to people that never pre-read the book.

They should of kept Chris Columbus for the entire series.  The first two were actually done in a way you didn't need to read the books.

[Hoopz]

I agree that the last 4 or 5 movies were bad but enjoyed the books. 

PBJ's points also make me leery of what's going to happen with Game of Thrones.  Considering the last couple of books haven't been written, I think whoever is writing the series has to have some leaps of faith as far as direction of the series.  And the author has commented that he sees the books and series finishing at the same time. 

[Trip]

They made some good changes in the movie from the books I thought.  Sirius getting hit with a killing curse before he went through the curtain was a lot better than just the curtain killing him. 

Adding more to the final battle of Harry and Voldy instead of just a one shot rebound was better, still didn't like the way he died, seemed like in the movie he died from killing off his horcruxes instead of anything done to his body.  I guess that is better than a rebound one shot though.