The NEW Build Your Own Arcade Controls
Main => Everything Else => Topic started by: JoyMonkey on August 22, 2005, 09:43:54 pm
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I woke up this morning at the usual unholy time of 5:30am. I took a shower, then I went to grab my coffee before leaving for work. On the way to the coffee maker something caught my eye that, sleepy as I was, immediately rose my onboard bacon alarm; THE DOOR OF MY FREEZER WAS OPEN!!!
I stood there in shock, then opened it slowly and watched as water poured out of the front of it. Being so early in the morning, I thought I'd just close it and pretend nothing had happened. But I couldn't leave it for more than a few seconds before checking to see what savory delights had come to an unfortunate end. I woke up my wife and told her. She started to cry. Yesterday we'd spent hours preparing food and had tried to stuff a little too much into the freezer. Let this be a warning to all of us!
The freezer was mostly full of bacon and pork related products imported from the farthest reachest of the earth. I thought it was all lost. Then I realised that this may well be the greatest thing ever to happen to my diet! This bacon would need to be cooked up for immediate consumption!
For the next week, I'll be living on pure bacon!
Here's some pork chops being prepared for broiling!
(http://uploader.clausercorp.com/uploaded/111/chops.jpg)
Here's what I had for desert today:
(http://uploader.clausercorp.com/uploaded/111/lunch.jpg)
(those are english muffins with Austian rose-hip jam!)
Here we see some German sausage, American bacon, Irish bacon and Canadian bacon together in their natural habbitat:
(http://uploader.clausercorp.com/uploaded/111/bacon-unity.jpg)
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I clogged an artery just looking at those pics. However, I lost 10 lbs in drool alone.
Pass the A1, we're going in!
(dammit it's 1am here, and I just GOTTA go fry up some sausage now. That outta wake the house...DAMN YOU!!!) >:(
Ooops! Someone left the freezer door open!! ;D
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Be honest now... you opened that freezer on purpose just so you could make this thread the next day... I'm on to you!!!
:)
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dude.... im jealous. you should send me some bacon
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Seriously, there is a line at which there is too much bacon in too short a time. You'll end up puking it back up or worse, spattering it out.
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I think my heart just exploded in my chest. Can we do it again?
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i think i just exploded in my pants...
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That could mean so many things.
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Even I don't like bacon that much.
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so in other randomness, i convinced the chick im banging to get nipple rings. shes getting them done today, woot
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I'm sure she is going to be thrilled that a thread about sausage, pork, bacon, and the resultant body processes from eating them in mass quantities, made you think about her.
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so in other randomness, i convinced the chick im banging to get nipple rings. shes getting them done today, woot
i think i just exploded.... [ok no more splooging]
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I'm sure she is going to be thrilled that a thread about sausage, pork, bacon, and the resultant body processes from eating them in mass quantities, made you think about her.
lmao, i dunno what made me think of her. its funny though ill be out in a restaurant and ill see a picture of bacon on a menu and im like damn i wish i had a cameraphone so i can take a pic of this for the forums. and shes like wtf, and yeah, she thinks u guys are weird
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I'm sure she is going to be thrilled that a thread about sausage, pork, bacon, and the resultant body processes from eating them in mass quantities, made you think about her.
lmao, i dunno what made me think of her. its funny though ill be out in a restaurant and ill see a picture of bacon on a menu and im like damn i wish i had a cameraphone so i can take a pic of this for the forums. and shes like wtf, and yeah, she thinks u guys are weird
Ask if you can take pictures of her nipple rings for us. If she doesn't think that's weird enough, ask if she minds being covered in raw bacon for the pic.
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Forget raw bacon, hang cooked strips from the rings.
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chad, thats an awesome idea for breakfast in bed... lol
shes so whipped she might do it to ;D
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Now you know you gotta whip her with bacon, in the act, when she's, oh, say looking in the same direction you are.
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thats sexy
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"No, baby, I don't want you to lose 15lb. I need that to put my bacon on."
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One more thought:
A tattoo of a strip of bacon right at the base of the back. Sexy.
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Chad-
I'll get that Tattoo if someone will pay off our credit card debt!!
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Chad-
I'll get that Tattoo if someone will pay off our credit card debt!!
Hrm. The issue, of course, would be access to the property.
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Maybe we could take up a collection. I gots a nickle. ;D
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Peale's wife is worth more than a nickel.
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Thanks, Chad! Anyway, we would need like 500,000 nickels!
OK, Boys, start lookin for change in your sofas!
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Thanks, Chad! Anyway, we would need like 500,000 nickels!
OK, Boys, start lookin for change in your sofas!
Oh, well, if I have to change my sofa, no deal. I sleep on it half the time.
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Sleeping on the sofa must be a guy thing. Peale can fall asleep anywhere and sleeps on the sofa half the time.
I used to make him come to bed, now I just leave him there, all uncomfortable looking, while I have our whole bed to myself!
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Sleeping on the sofa must be a guy thing. Peale can fall asleep anywhere and sleeps on the sofa half the time.
I used to make him come to bed, now I just leave him there, all uncomfortable looking, while I have our whole bed to myself!
I sleep on the sofa half the time because I don't sleep well. I toss and turn all night. I don't see the sense in keeping my wife up all night when she has a long day of chasing two kids around ahead of her. I can stare at the ceiling above the sofa just as easily as I can the ceiling above the bed.
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I fall asleep on the recliner just about every night. Mrs. Stingray still kindly wakes me and puts me to bed. Wonder how long I have before she starts leaving me there.
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It will end the night you wake up and the person she put to be wasn't you.
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Guess I'd better stop falling asleep in the recliner!
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I tried for the last 6 years to wake him and get him to come to bed. The last time I did, he said 'Go away'. That was the end of that!
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I tried for the last 6 years to wake him and get him to come to bed. The last time I did, he said 'Go away'. That was the end of that!
Peale doesn't weigh much. Lift him up and carry him.
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Nah. I don't want him in bed THAT badly!
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Nah. I don't want him in bed THAT badly!
ZING!
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Ow.
I mean that.
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Nah. I don't want him in bed THAT badly!
if you had that bacon tattoo, I have a feeling you wouldn't be able to keep him OUT of the bedroom ;)
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I tell you what... make that tattoo scratch and sniff and maybe we can work out a deal.
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Hmmm...let me think about that one...
Dogs are eager enough to smell people's butts!
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Hmmm...let me think about that one...
Dogs are eager enough to smell people's butts!
That is a very good point.
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Hey, if you have a nice enough behind, nearly anyone will sniff at it.
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scratch and sniff bacon tattoo... mmmmm
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scratch and sniff bacon tattoo... mmmmm
(http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y14/grottoboy/homer_simpson_drool.jpg)
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Peale's gonna blow a gasket when he reads this thread.
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Peale's gonna blow a gasket when he reads this thread.
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Or bring Mrs. Peale to a tattoo shop :)
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Bah, what is Peale gonna do, write us mediocre letters of recommendation?
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Bah, what is Peale gonna do, write us mediocre letters of recommendation?
yup... still funny
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Yeah, don't think it has any more uses left in it, though.
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Yeah, don't think it has any more uses left in it, though.
Maybe not today, but it'll be fresh as a daisy by Monday.
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Bah, what is Peale gonna do, write us mediocre letters of recommendation?
Wife pointed out this comment, she didn't get it, I didn't either. What's it mean?
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Origins here. (http://forum.arcadecontrols.com/index.php?topic=42044.0)
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Still funny enough to produce a grin this morning.
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