The NEW Build Your Own Arcade Controls
Main => Everything Else => Topic started by: Floyd10 on November 11, 2004, 09:41:51 pm
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any you can think of? I like indeed and good day.
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EH?
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and I mean good day as in "I say good day to you!"
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upon someone presenting an idea to you:
That's about as useful as a bag of dog crap.
Minus the bag.
Also
You: Have a day.
Them: "a day?
You: Yeah, cuz I don't care if yours is good.
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lmao! ;D Im gonna use that from now on
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For a while I was doing this:
Them: I had a meatball sandwich for lunch.
You: Yooouuuu're a meatball!
Basically you just pick a word they say and call them that like its some kind of insult.
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Yooouuu're an insult!
Like that, hey?
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youuuuuure a like that
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Yooouuu're an insult!
Like that, hey?
youuuuuure a like that
Yep, still funny ;D
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"I demand satisfaction sir!"
Said while slapping the person you are addressing in the face with a glove a la Homer the Great.
Just make sure you're not in a gay bar I believe it means something different to our rainbow hued chums.
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And my favourite one from my wife. I piss myself everytime she's says it.
"It's not bloody rocket surgery you know"
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i don't think 'saippuakivikauppias' is used often enough...
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Just make sure you're not in a gay bar I believe it means something different to our rainbow hued chums.
As does "let me push that stool in for ya" when going to sit down in the gay bar.
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I did that you're thing. got it from the sweetest thing.
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I did that you're thing. got it from the sweetest thing.
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I like to pretend that I missed an individual syllabol when someone is talking to me. For example:
You: Don't be ridiculous
Me: riwhatulous?
I also like to say "medium" when people ask me how I'm doing.
I also like to tell people, "That's impossible!" about common things.
I also like to tell people that things are for old ladies and pediphiles. For example:
You: Wow...you really need to pick up an Xbox. Halo 2 is SOOO great!
Me: Xboxes are for old ladies and pediphiles.
And I like to tell people I don't believe in things. Like:
You: Do you like fish?
Me: I don't believe in fish?
You: You don't believe in Fish?????
Me: I mean I don't believe they exist.
...and so on.
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SAM: "What's shaking Norm?"
NORM: "All four cheeks & a couple of chins."
SAM: "What's new Normie?"
NORM: "Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach & they're demanding beer."
SAM: "What'd you like Normie?"
NORM: "A reason to live. Give me another beer."
SAM: "What'll you have Normie?"
NORM: "Well, I'm in a gambling mood Sammy. I'll take a glass of whatever comes out of that tap."
SAM: "Looks like beer, Norm."
NORM: "Call me Mister Lucky."
SAM: "Hey Norm, how's the world been treating you?"
NORM: "Like a baby treats a diaper."
WOODY: "What's the story Mr. Peterson?"
NORM: "The Bobbsey twins go to the brewery. Let's cut to the happy ending."
WOODY: "Hey Mr. Peterson, there's a cold one waiting for you."
NORM: "I know, if she calls, I'm not here."
SAM: "Beer, Norm?"
NORM: "Have I gotten that predictable? Good."
SAM: "Whatcha up to Norm?"
NORM: "My ideal weight if I were eleven feet tall."
WOODY: "How's it going Mr. Peterson?"
NORM: "Poor."
WOODY: "I'm sorry to hear that."
NORM: "No, I mean pour."
SAM: "How's life treating you Norm?"
NORM: "Like it caught me sleeping with its wife."
SAM: "What's going down, Normie?"
NORM: "My butt cheeks on that bar stool."
WOODY: "Pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?"
NORM: "Alright, but stop me at one.....make that one-thirty."
WOODY: "How's it going Mr. Peterson?"
NORM: "It's a dog eat dog world, Woody & I'm wearing Milk Bone underwear."
SAM: "What's the story Norm?"
NORM: "Boy meets beer. Boy drinks beer. Boy meets another beer."
WOODY: "What's going on Mr. Peterson?"
NORM: "The question is, 'what's going IN Mr. Peterson?' A beer, please."
WOODY: "Can I pour you a beer Mr. Peterson?"
NORM: "A little early isn't it, Woody?"
WOODY: "For a beer?"
NORM: "No, for stupid questions."
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*raises a glass* cheers
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I also like to tell people, "That's impossible!" about common things.
I did this to my brother-in-law. I give this one 4 out of 5 possible stars ;D
Do you consider it a badge of honor to get that "what the HELL is wrong with him?!?" look?
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I like to pretend that I missed an individual syllabol when someone is talking to me. For example:
You: Don't be ridiculous
Me: riwhatulous?
I also like to say "medium" when people ask me how I'm doing.
I also like to tell people, "That's impossible!" about common things.
I also like to tell people that things are for old ladies and pediphiles. For example:
You: Wow...you really need to pick up an Xbox. Halo 2 is SOOO great!
Me: Xboxes are for old ladies and pediphiles.
And I like to tell people I don't believe in things. Like:
You: Do you like fish?
Me: I don't believe in fish?
You: You don't believe in Fish?????
Me: I mean I don't believe they exist.
...and so on.
These were classic and I can't wait to get to work tomorrow and start using them.
I still do the YOU'RE A .... I think some guys and I started doing it at an old job when we heard Space Ghosts' Musical BBQ. Brak tells a story where he's a monkey or something..we started saying "YOU'RE a monkey!" Then we started calling everyone monkeys.
Then one night when I was at taco bell I yelled across the store "hey monkey!" Talking to my wife (now my ex wife) a lovely african american gentleman kinda looked at me funny, and when we left someone had spit all over our car. After that I found out that calling people monkeys has racial connotations and I stopped saying it......mostly. :D
Allroy <--- I'm a monkey!
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i like to say when seomthing comes out really bad that it looks like a can of smashed ---uvulas---
;D
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yeah, monkeys not the best thing to say in public.
setup: 2 men at a picnic table. one(1)s reading a newspaper, and one(2) is eating olean chips.
man 1: so how are you?
man 2: Im good.
man 1: you klnow, those cause anal leakage.
man 2: you cause anal leakage.
(from the sweetest thing)
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Indubitably!
Gadzooks!
friggin'
farggin'
Rissen Fricken....
Karn Sarnet!
(when entering a room) Whats all this then?
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I do the YOU'RE thing too, but I say "Your Mother is a .......". My brother uused this one on me in at a family party sitting next to my Mom. She slapped him silly. lol
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I'm a teacher... (sorry)
Kids often come running up to me and ask "Can I go to the restroom real quick?"
"I dunno, I've never timed you."
I also like to phrase ordinary things with biblical grandeur... begin a sentence with "lo," or "hark"... use "even unto" in the middle somewhere...
"Lo, I say even unto thee: hello."
"Hark, got any gum?"
I'm a fan of "thusly" as well. Many many things need to be done "thusly."
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hahahaha. Biblical grandeur. I say unto ye dudes: hello.
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And lo it came to pass that I got seriously bombed on Saturday night dude.
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Just make sure you're not in a gay bar I believe it means something different to our rainbow hued chums.
As does "let me push that stool in for ya" when going to sit down in the gay bar.
I have a friend who is a cop. They raid the gay bar about once a month (drugs), and as he goes in the back entrance he screams "I'm going in the rear!"
So of course we say this to each other all the time and in inappropriate situations.
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I'm a teacher... (sorry)
Kids often come running up to me and ask "Can I go to the restroom real quick?"
"I dunno, I've never timed you."
That's kinda ironical and all....a teacher who uses "dunno" ;D
Can you type "ain't" for me too ;)
I do the "can" thing to my wife and kids all the time.
"Can I go to the bathroom?"
I'm sure you're quite capable, why do you ask?
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I REALLLLY hate when someone corrects me when I say "Can I do such and such". Who goes around saying "May I do this or may I do that". Really
Oh and nards. Remember when everyone said nards to mean their balls. We need to bring nards back. Not just nads, nards.
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lol
OH MY GOD! U KICKED ME IN THE NARDS!!!
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I too am guilty of "you're a ..." My gf gets so pissed!
Her: "This is a stupid song."
Me: "You're a stupid song!"
Her: "That doesn't even make sense! I hate you!"
Me: LOL
Something my boss said the other day. I guess it's a saying used for when you're going to sit arround and do nothing.
"Count the wrinkles on your dink"
"So what'd ya do today"
"Sat arround, counting the wrinkles on my dink"
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We've been using the "you're" thing for years and it's getting a bit lame/annoying, but we can't stop doing it.
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When things are not working correctly at work, and forgive me I work in IT but hey someone has to, I like to exclaim:
"Strange things are afoot at the Circle K"
Also when asked what something is - "It's some delicate weather sensing equipment"
Also many others that will probably not be understood outside the UK such as:
"Ah ha" - "grrrrr" - Alan Partridge
"yeah but no but yeah but" - Little Britain
"Today I shall mostly be....." - Fast Show
Yes I realise this makes me a sad individual!
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My friends and I always say "Have you tried kicking it?" when someone describes some sort of technology problem they are having.
Let's see..."Booya" with no emphasis, taken from College University.
Lots of Star Wars references, it's mostly a "These are not the ____ you are looking for" thing.
"That's what she said." Oldie but goodie.
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"yepthpthpth"
thats "yep" with a raspberry/fart noise on the end of it
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monkey klaw. It seems I am the only one using it.
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Heh...thanks.
I also like to use the fact that I'm not a doctor as an excuse for my personal ignorance about anything. Example:
You: Did Green Bay win last night?
Me: I dunno. I'm not a doctor. (a little bit incredulous....like with a, "why in hell would you expect me to know that?" tone)
And whenever my wife hits me or pushes me, or even gives me a little "let's go" shove on the arm, I like to dramatically collapse to the floor and start feebly crawling away in terror. She hates that one and I generally end up with her on top of me smacking the crap out of me. :)
And when I'm sitting on the sofa and my wife's about to sit down I like to slide my hand under her just at the last moment and start screaming, "My HAND!!!"
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And when I'm sitting on the sofa and my wife's about to sit down I like to slide my hand under her just at the last moment and start screaming, "My HAND!!!"
I do the same thing to my GF except instead of "My HAND!!!" I wiggle my fingers and she jumps in either terror or from the ticklyness. <-- Is that a word?
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And when I'm sitting on the sofa and my wife's about to sit down I like to slide my hand under her just at the last moment and start screaming, "My HAND!!!"
I do the same thing to my GF except instead of "My HAND!!!" I wiggle my fingers and she jumps in either terror or from the ticklyness. <-- Is that a word?
ticklishness
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Ticklicious
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The "that's impossible" is a great one for IT people. It's a great response to virtually any complaint.
"I get an error message when I try to print."
"That's impossible."
"I keep getting email messages claiming claiming that the message I sent to someone got blocked because it was infected by a virus, but I've never sent an email to that address before."
"That's impossible."
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Make sure your "that's impossible" is a real Mark Hammil/Empire Strikes Back moment.
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I almost totally forgot one of my favorites. This won't work for most of you, though. If you're an atheist, though, you can make great use of this. Start blaming god for things. Here's an example from the previous election:
Shmokes: I blame god for Bush's victory. If he hadn't given Bush all those hurricanes in Florida he never would have had an excuse to swoop in to save the day. He sent one, but saw that Bush's numbers were still pretty wobbly, so he sent another. And another. And another for good measure.
Other Person: You don't even believe in god!
Shmokes: That doesn't mean she doesn't exist.
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heh, Shmokes, you reminded me of when we used to use quotes from the Star Trek TV show. My favorites:
The warp drive is a hopeless pile of junk! (Scotty)
Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a mechanic! (Bones)
The result was a wrecked ship and a dead crew. (Spock)
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what about:
The ship! She canut take it! (scotty)
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When you fart, just say "juice". Then accuse the wife of "squirting"... loud enough so people hear. She'll start laughing, turn red, and catch the blame. Especially if it stinks. ;)
ie:
*fart*
you: "Juice."
wife gets embarrassed.
you: "Oh my god! Did you squirt? I think you squirted!"
wife turns red and starts laughing/hitting (or runs away)
public blames her.
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I REALLLLY hate when someone corrects me when I say "Can I do such and such".
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Or NARF!
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I refuse to vote on the grounds that I may inseminate myself. :o
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I like to use these on people
Short skinned and Optical rectalysis.
You are short skinned "i.e. you are afraid that if you close your mouth your --I'm attempting to get by the auto-censor and should be beaten after I re-read the rules-- will fly open"
You have Optical Rectalysis "i.e. your optic nerve has crossed your rectal nerve and given you a shi$$y outlook on life.
Also it's a "layover to catch meddlers on" whenever someone asks me what something is.
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I still like "Hotter than two rats f***ing in a wool sock," personally, but that's just me.
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ok this is what i do to most people when i feel like being a dixk...
g/f: you wanna go out with me and my girlfriends to a gay bar??
Me: Let me check my watch....*im actually looking at my wrist which has no watch on it*
me: Nope!
g/f: Aww comon
Me: let me check it again.....*this time i hit my wrist acting as if the watch has stopped or is broken....*
Me: nope i still dont....
this works on anythign really...try it
otherwise ill just tell ya ill stunn ya --I'm attempting to get by the auto-censor and should be beaten after I re-read the rules-- back to grade school followed by a fake kick to the stomach...eh im a wrestling fan at heart
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monkey klaw. It seems I am the only one using it.
How is it used and how do you convey that you are using a K for Klaw instead of a C?