Main > Everything Else

How do you do this to your kids?

<< < (16/28) > >>

mr.Curmudgeon:
...and for the record, I was "spanked" (with a belt, a paddle, by hand)...and I don't think it helped me understand the causality of my actions other than certain things=spanking.

I was an introspective and observant kid...and I credit that for the fact that I am not (nor ever was) a deviant, not the corporal punishment. Because, believe me, I had access to a lot of "bad things" (ie: hard drugs, alcohol, guns, knives, etc) and I was surrounded by loads of troublemakers..and my parents never knew. I chose not to engage in deviant behavior because I saw what it did to the people that engaged in it (ie: causality).

This just reinforces my support of a more interactive/engaged approach to punishment, as opposed to the physical type. I can see the appeal of "spanking", since it's certainly the quick and easy way of dealing with an issue ("Spank! Go to your room! Don't do that bad thing again or you'll get another!")...however, this makes it a less engaged form of rearing. Thus, not for me.



mrC

ChadTower:

That's another reason we shouldn't be using my childhood as an example.  There was causality when I got whacked around but it was rarely something I did.  It was usually just as a result of being in the wrong place when the wrong thing happened.

That's why that line between spanking and beating is so relevant.  A spanking  pretty much always follows something the kid did wrong.  A beating often follows something that didn't involve the kid at all.  Like a playoff loss and 12 beers.

mr.Curmudgeon:
Yeah, I think it's pretty safe to say your childhood shouldn't be a test case.


mrC

fredster:
The only times I spanked my son was for lying and once for stealing.  I didn't hit him very hard. The act in and of itself was enough to accomplish the mission. 

Doing it all the time is worthless. It's like yelling. Yell at them and they get deaf, spank them and they will get used to it.

The trouble with spanking is that people use it for a "cure all". I used it only to:
1) establish that I can freaking do it
2) show him that his worst fears can be realized
3) Make the occasion very memorable

My mom used it very sparingly, but when used it was very dramatic. She would make me get a "switch" and then I'd get it. 


--- Quote ---...and for the record, I was "spanked" (with a belt, a paddle, by hand)...and I don't think it helped me understand the causality of my actions other than certain things=spanking.
--- End quote ---

Well yah, duh! Kids can't think introspective like. They don't have the development or experience to reflect on life deeply.

The way I look at it my kid has to respond to what I tell him, right then, right there. Why? Because I might yell "RuN!" and I don't want to hear some smart ass "why" because "why" might be he's standing in front of tree I just cut down, etc.  (maybe a bad example, but you catch my drift).


mr.Curmudgeon:

--- Quote from: fredster on October 03, 2006, 03:00:48 pm ---Well yah, duh! Kids can't think introspective like. They don't have the development or experience to reflect on life deeply.
--- End quote ---

I'm not saying that *can*, intuitively. I'm saying that I'd rather use a method that encourages introspection, helps develop that reflection. I think the rest of what you've said is just fine.

I also agree, as you say, that there are parents that use physical discipline all too frequently.


mrC

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

[*] Previous page

Go to full version