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How do you do this to your kids?
shmokes:
--- Quote from: ChadTower on October 01, 2006, 08:04:35 pm ---
You are way too quick to find a reason to disqualify a person's comments entirely if they disagree with your opinions.
--- End quote ---
That's probably true.
horseboy:
--- Quote from: shmokes on October 01, 2006, 08:06:15 pm ---
--- Quote from: ChadTower on October 01, 2006, 08:04:35 pm ---
You are way too quick to find a reason to disqualify a person's comments entirely if they disagree with your opinions.
--- End quote ---
That's definitely true.
--- End quote ---
shmokes:
Gimme a break. I'm no doubt overly argumentative, but we're talking about Chad -- someone who automatically disagrees with everything I say even when I'm agreeing with the last thing he said. You learn how to deal with certain people and it becomes habitual. I don't think many here would describe Chad "the yardstick by which people are measured" Tower as someone who is particularly accepting of opinions he does not share. Some might even describe his as dismissive, hard headed and arrogant. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if he wouldn't mind using those terms to describe himself.
RandyT:
shmokes,
Serious question: With that many siblings, how was discipline administered in your household? And by whom? If you were number 9, by time you got to an age where you could start analyzing parenting methods, there must have been an awful lot of nearly adult children (with nearly adult responsibilities) around your household.
I dare suggest, much of what you experienced growing up would be considered a bit alien to those who might come from the more common smaller families.
Just a thought.
RandyT
shmokes:
--- Quote from: RandyT on October 01, 2006, 09:02:41 pm ---shmokes,
Serious question: With that many siblings, how was discipline administered in your household? And by whom? If you were number 9, by time you got to an age where you could start analyzing parenting methods, there must have been an awful lot of nearly adult children (with nearly adult responsibilities) around your household.
I dare suggest, much of what you experienced growing up would be considered a bit alien to those who might come from the more common smaller families.
Just a thought.
RandyT
--- End quote ---
;D I think there's probably some truth to that. I had probably changed more diapers by the time I was 15 than most people change in their entire lives. I was washing poopy diapers out in the toilet when I was five years old (my mom only used disposable diapers on kids she babysat, and they provided their own diapers).
As for discipline, that was all my mom, who is pretty nutso. As a kid, I would see my parents and older siblings in shouting matches and I would be very angry at my siblings, not understanding what any of it was about, but only understanding that my brother or sister wasn't doing what was right. As a kid, it doesn't seem weird or unfair that you get smacked about. It's unpleasant, but that's just the way it is and why would you think it would be any different for any other kid? The older I got the more I realized how ---fouled up beyond all recognition--- up my parents were (mainly just my mom, but my dad wouldn't stand up to her). One day, just after I turned fifteen, it occurred to me that I was physically stronger than my mom. That day she lost the only control she had ever developed over me.
That incident, which I've kind of glossed over, is one of the defining points in the development of my ideas about parenting. When it occurred to me that I was no longer afraid of my mom, she had absolutely no control over me (except when she wouldn't sign for my drivers license until I cut my hair -- so I cut it, got a drivers license, and grew it back :) ). Once your kids become teenagers, corporal punishment doesn't fly unless you're ready to get serious with the wrenches and cigarette burns, etc.. The only way you can keep your kids from doing things that they want to do is by having a relationship where they respect you and trust you so much that the thought of disappointing you is worse than the thought of missing out on whatever it is you don't want them to do. And I think that spanking, at any time, works against the development of this kind of relationship.
Also, keep in mind that 15 sounds like more than it is. At any given time there was never more than ten or eleven kids living in the house because the oldest had turned eighteen and left or the youngest hadn't been born. Also, three were adopted. So my mom and dad only personally sired twelve of us :)
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