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How do you do this to your kids?

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horseboy:

--- Quote from: shmokes on October 01, 2006, 03:30:49 pm --- I just don't think that using the physical advantage you have over your kids is acceptable.  I cannot think of a reason why it's not okay for a man to hit a woman, but it's okay for an adult to hit a child, when the size and strength disparity is all the more pronounced.  I think it also teaches children that having a physical advantage over another person gives the stronger a legitimate authority to exert their will over the weaker.

--- End quote ---

Now I think you might be getting spanking confused with hitting. I don't think anyone on here is going to tell you it is right to hit a child. I am quite sure that there are varying degrees of force that some people may use in there spankings, and I am sure that some of them cross that fine line into abuse. My parents spanked us, but 20 minutes later you could pull my pants down and not find a mark on me. They certainly tried many other forms of punishment before spanking. When they had to, though, they would do it, and I would learn my lesson in the end (pun intended).

I don't think there is anything wrong with spanking if you aren't crossing the line. I also think it is a little ridiculous to compare spanking a kid to hitting a woman. When you hit someone you do it hard, usually just about as hard as you can. I think most parents that spanked their kids would probably use about 5% of their total force.

To be fair, though, my daughter is 8 months old and I couldn't even begin to fathom spanking her.


--edit--
That 5% is just a ridiculous estimate since there is absolutely no way to quantify that, but you get the point.  ;D

ChadTower:

--- Quote from: saint on October 01, 2006, 03:24:27 pm ---Three kids, never spanked them, never will. I get compliments on how well behaved they are on a regular basis.

--- End quote ---

Let's say you have a 5 year old who runs into the main street.  Often.  Chasing balls, not paying attention, once in a while just to hear the screech of tires.  Does it after being yelled at, being grounded, being talked to, knows it's wrong, knows it will get him killed.  Still does it.  Thinks it is funny.  I have known kids like that.

What do you do?

Some kids respond to nothing else.  Sometimes the result is just more important than communication.

RandyT:

--- Quote from: shmokes on October 01, 2006, 02:34:16 pm ---
--- Quote from: MYX on October 01, 2006, 02:06:37 pm ---
The point is, I think there is a place in discipline for spankings.


--- End quote ---

I don't.

--- End quote ---

Dear Santa Claus,

Please bring shmokes's another child.   One of those who, at 5 years old, kicks strangers and hits him, calls him names and tells him "I hate you, Daddy" in public, like many I have personally witnessed.  I don't want him to suffer, only to have a point of reference.  You can take him back when he gets one.

Thank you,
RandyT

saint:
Whatever you as a parent think is appropriate of course, including spanking. I'm not going to try to tell someone they shouldn't spank -- but I've never found it necessary with all the other tools I have available to me as a parent. I have heard of situations where nothing else works, and if the only way you have to get through to a child is to spank then by all means do what you have to do... I do firmly believe people spank way too often and too easily as a first resort instead of a last resort, but I don't advocate banning spanking.

I don't believe I will ever spank my children. In ten years of parenting so far it has not been necessary.

--- saint



--- Quote from: ChadTower on October 01, 2006, 04:46:45 pm ---
--- Quote from: saint on October 01, 2006, 03:24:27 pm ---Three kids, never spanked them, never will. I get compliments on how well behaved they are on a regular basis.

--- End quote ---

Let's say you have a 5 year old who runs into the main street.  Often.  Chasing balls, not paying attention, once in a while just to hear the screech of tires.  Does it after being yelled at, being grounded, being talked to, knows it's wrong, knows it will get him killed.  Still does it.  Thinks it is funny.  I have known kids like that.

What do you do?

Some kids respond to nothing else.  Sometimes the result is just more important than communication.

--- End quote ---

shmokes:
If I walked in on my son sexually molesting my daughter or in the process of cutting the throat of the nieghbor's toddler as a sacrifice to a pagan god, I would beat the living ---steaming pile of meadow muffin--- out of him. 

Painting me into a more extreme position than the one I am actually presenting, or in Randy's case just being a drama queen in general, is a convenient, but not very constructive debate tactic.

A kid that finds himself alone in his room (or his parent's room if his is too much fun) for an hour every time he runs into the street is going to learn just as well or better, 99 times out of 100, than a kid that gets swatted by his parent.

And spanking is hitting.  It's assinine to suggest otherwise.  Hitting is a generalized term that encompasses spanking, just as it encompasses slapping, punching, judo chopping  :) , running into something with your car and striking a baseball with a bat.  Spanking is generally less severe than slapping (probably for no reason other than the butt has more padding and is sometimes separated from the hand/wooden spoon/willow/HotwheelsTM bendy racetrack segment/belt/spatula by up to three layers of fabric), which is generally less severe than punching, which is less severe than running someone over with your car.  But you've gotta be crazy to say that spanking isn't hitting when doing the exact same thing to the face or a countertop would clearly qualify as hitting someone in the face or hitting a countertop with your hand.

If you have to redefine the verb "hit" to make you feel better about your actions you REALLY should reconsider whether or not you should be spanking your kids.   ;D

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