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How do you do this to your kids?
ChadTower:
Depends on the kid. I didn't really need them (though I still got more than my share).
My brother needed them. He just didn't listen or learn.
NightGod:
--- Quote from: shmokes on October 01, 2006, 02:34:16 pm ---
--- Quote from: MYX on October 01, 2006, 02:06:37 pm ---
The point is, I think there is a place in discipline for spankings.
--- End quote ---
I don't.
--- End quote ---
I do.
And I've got two children that are so well behaved that they get complimented by strangers to prove it's effectiveness. Haven't had to spank either of them in years, but it was an effective tool when they were too young to reason with.
shmokes:
I'll see your two kids and raise you the three kids from Drew's original post.
My wife has never been spanked (not by her parents anyway ;) ). She's never been in trouble in her life. When she talks about breaking rules she talks about getting home half an hour after curfew one or two times. It's hillarious. My family was exactly the opposite and once we hit teenage years, one-by-one, we rebelled big time. I've got three high-school drop out siblings, one in rehab, another that is all cleaned up, but was heavily into drugs. All kinds of problems.
In fact, neither your story, nor mine proves anything. They're isolated incidents. I think that spanking is harmful, but that your love for your kids, and the time and devotion you give them, probably outweighs the damage spanking has done and you've got good kids in spite of it. I'd guess that you'd say that my parents (as well as Drew's neighbor) needed to add some love and quality time and devotion to their kids instead of relying exclusively on the coporal punishment.
But try to find some statistical evidence that parents, in general, who think spanking is okay have better behaved kids than those who think its wrong and you won't find it. You will find exactly the opposite.
saint:
Three kids, never spanked them, never will. I get compliments on how well behaved they are on a regular basis.
People shouldn't confuse lack of spanking with a lack of discipline. My kids face consequences if they misbehave, but they don't get smacked.
shmokes:
Don't get me wrong. I don't think kids shouldn't be punished. I think they should have toys confiscated, priviledges revoked, be put in time-outs, etc. I just don't think that using the physical advantage you have over your kids is acceptable. I cannot think of a reason why it's not okay for a man to hit a woman, but it's okay for an adult to hit a child, when the size and strength disparity is all the more pronounced. I think it also teaches children that having a physical advantage over another person gives the stronger a legitimate authority to exert their will over the weaker.
I think of those drawings that Chad and AtomSmasher describe and we're talking about feelings of genuine fear and helplessness. And how could you not feel that way as a child. Adults are ginormous. Think of how helpless a kid feels when he's in 5th grade getting bullied by a sixth grader who's only maybe 20% bigger than him and then think of how they feel when they get violence or the threat of violence, not only from someone who is 500% bigger than them but who also is that little kid's greatest protector and security.
I just think it ain't right, it gives unhealthy, mixed messages, and that any possible good that can come of it can be accomplished in ways that don't carry with them the negative baggage that corporal punishment does.
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