Story Testing: "The Badge Of The Ultimate Star Jam Fighter"

[MrInitialMan]

May I post chapters of my story on this board, so that you all can tell me if it makes sense?

[PL1]

[Thread moved to Everything Else from Software sub-forum.]

May I post chapters of my story on this board, so that you all can tell me if it makes sense?

Sure, now that this thread is in the correct sub-forum.   


Scott

[MrInitialMan]

Thank you!  (Also, whoops )

Badge Of The Ultimate Star Jam Fighter - Chapter 1

[PL1]

One phrase that seems jarringly odd is in the first paragraph.   

He played the did every time his parents

Minor formatting note:  The three times that "UNE" appears in the body text, it has a dotted underline. (spellcheck marking?)  The two times where it appears in "screencap" text boxes, it does not.

The rest of the excerpt appears to be solidly written from grammatical, technical, formatting, and dramatic perspectives.   


Scott

[MrInitialMan]

One phrase that seems jarringly odd is in the first paragraph.   

He played the did every time his parents

That is a straight-up goof.  I'm usually writing this late at night

Minor formatting note:  The three times that "UNE" appears in the body text, it has a dotted underline. (spellcheck marking?)  The two times where it appears in "screencap" text boxes, it does not.

The rest of the excerpt appears to be solidly written from grammatical, technical, formatting, and dramatic perspectives.   


Scott

Actually, that is a leftover by the way this story is being written; the dotted line is from an <abbr> element (yes, I code HTML by hand).  I'll fix it in the CSS sheet (yes, I'm doing these as webpages turned into PDFs)


Okay, I think I got the issues fixed.