Build Your Own Arcade Controls Forum
Main => Everything Else => Topic started by: psik0tik on May 17, 2007, 11:31:03 pm
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1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Allison Stokke starts unbuttoning her blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss' car.
(d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into
"The Crying Game".
(e) When she is using her teeth.
3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.
4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.
6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even
remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly
optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a
strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.
8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
10:You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of
flatulent entertainment, she's officially your
girlfriend.
11:It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach ... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.
12:Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
13:Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
14:Friends don't let friends wear Speedos.
Ever. Issue closed.
15:If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.
16:Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
17:A man in the company of a hot, suggestively
dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
18:Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just
greedy.
19:If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.
20:Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex
pending your response.
21:Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
(a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
(b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
(c) Another set and we can hit the showers!
22:Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
23:Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.
24:The morning after you and a girl who was
formerly "just a friend" have carnal, drunken
monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs.
25:It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is
not acceptable for her to drive yours.
26:Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.
27:The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.
28:There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.
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Lol, nice rules.
One odd exception though:
8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
Bladder determines pitstops, how sissy is that? At best the car's petrol tank does or maybe a growling stomach.
BTW a good set of rules for picking out a girl are:
Hardware Requirements:
- Pleasant screen and chassis.
- Moderate size disk drives.
- Must come with original manufacturer write-protect tab.
- Must be easily interconnectable to accessories such as vacuum cleaners, ovens, brooms, washing machines, etc.
Software Requirements:
- Compiler for IOHL (International Obedient Housewife Language) basic command subset (e.g. clean, wash, cook, "of course dear").
- Single-user mode ONLY.
- Very-user-friendly interface.
- Word "no" must not appear in /usr/dict/words.
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(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
Can we update that for someone who isn't old and busted?
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27:The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.
AMEN!
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(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
Can we update that for someone who isn't old and busted?
I agree. I don't find her hot at all.
J_K_M_A_N
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(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
Can we update that for someone who isn't old and busted?
Preferably a super hot woman who hasn't shown her jubblies yet?
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(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
Can we update that for someone who isn't old and busted?
Preferably a super hot woman who hasn't shown her jubblies yet?
Yeah, maybe like:
http://forum.arcadecontrols.com/index.php?topic=44853.msg676355#msg676355
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(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
Can we update that for someone who isn't old and busted?
Preferably a super hot woman who hasn't shown her jubblies yet?
Yeah, maybe like:
http://forum.arcadecontrols.com/index.php?topic=44853.msg676355#msg676355
That is the first thing that came to my mind too. :cheers:
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Yeah and she looks so hot even without a million layers of makup or camera lighting tricks (which the regular celebs usually need). On the other hand, she doesn't look so hot when she's talking in an interview on youtube.
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I almost never read that thread... but holy crap that pole vault chick is hot. She is a fit replacement.
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What's this sister thing. Maybe your buddy's sister wants to bone you. She can take care of herself, right?
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I did marry her.