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Main => Everything Else => Topic started by: lordtodd75 on May 09, 2006, 03:56:35 pm

Title: Funny expressions
Post by: lordtodd75 on May 09, 2006, 03:56:35 pm
I was just laughing at one of my co workers funny responses to a question and it made me want to start a thread about funny expressions. These are probably 2 of my favorites:

"poops mcgee"=a screw up="man you pulled a poops mcgee"

"five on the eyes"=slapping someone acrossed the head, face, eyes="bit*h, don't make me give you five on the eyes."

Anyone?
Title: Re: Funny expressions
Post by: TOK on May 09, 2006, 09:38:56 pm
Its old and stupid, but still makes me laugh every time I hear it... "Shut your pie-hole!".
Title: Re: Funny expressions
Post by: sez on May 10, 2006, 12:44:20 am
"Shut up you big fat stupid head."
Title: Re: Funny expressions
Post by: Pi on May 10, 2006, 03:58:26 am
"Shut up you big fat stupid head."

I didn't know that Your Highness was around here. As always, showing class and pouring elegance. ;D
Title: Re: Funny expressions
Post by: PCtech on May 10, 2006, 11:03:49 am
"Sh1t or get off the pot"
"Crooked as a bar-room pool que"
"stop your crying, or I'll give you a reason to cry"
"Where's my present?, 'cause you must think I was born yesterday"

My new favorite ......fuktard... :cheers:
Title: Re: Funny expressions
Post by: lordtodd75 on May 10, 2006, 01:32:38 pm
You say this about someone with a big head:
"would you rather have a million dollars, or that guys head full of nickels?"

No matter how many times I hear it I still chuckle.  ;D
Title: Re: Funny expressions
Post by: AtomSmasher on May 10, 2006, 05:55:14 pm
"Well slap me around and call me Susan." = I can't believe I was wrong.
Title: Re: Funny expressions
Post by: lharles on May 10, 2006, 10:12:35 pm
"...dumber than a box of hair."

Never understood the origin of that one but it always makes me laugh.

:)
Title: Re: Funny expressions
Post by: Jabba on May 11, 2006, 12:11:37 am
One legged man in an ass kickin contest  :D
Title: Re: Funny expressions
Post by: brack on May 11, 2006, 06:47:48 am
"Put a quarter in the time machine"

The always funny retort to the person who isn't paying attention to a conversation and pipes in with something that has been discussed 5 minutes earlier.
Title: Re: Funny expressions
Post by: danny_galaga on May 11, 2006, 07:09:00 am

some (maybe) aussie ones:

* couldn't fight his way out of a wet paper bag

* couldn't drive a stick into a bucket of mud

* going off like a frog in a sock
Title: Re: Funny expressions
Post by: thebrownshow on May 12, 2006, 02:53:18 pm
Buddy of mine cracks me up every time with "[blank] is so good it'll make you want to smack your mother."
Title: Re: Funny expressions
Post by: MYX on May 12, 2006, 02:58:41 pm
Several years back, a guy I worked with saw this really hot woman and blurted out..."I'd drink a cup of her piss just to see where it came from." I choked on my drink and I am sure most of it came out my nose when I heard that.
Title: Re: Funny expressions
Post by: MinerAl on May 12, 2006, 03:05:56 pm
colorful friend used to say "I'd eat a yard of her -poop- just to get to that ass"
Title: Re: Funny expressions
Post by: allroy1975 on May 12, 2006, 03:13:42 pm
wow...a lot of these are good....
for the one legged man in an ass kicking contest here are some alternates:
busier than a one armed paper hanger
busier than a long tailed tomcat in a room full of rocking chairs

....dumber than a box of hair is a lot of fun because it's got 2 variables for example:
dumber than a sack of hammers.  you can change the recepticle and what's in it!  FUN!

remember in redneck rampage?  that hillbilly used to say "I'm on you like stank on ---steaming pile of meadow muffin---"

this thread reminds me of a buddy I used to work with..he was full of them
he used to say:
I'd eat a MILE of her ---steaming pile of meadow muffin---, just to see where it came from.
it's raining like a cow pissing on a flat rock.

good stuff all around...

Allroy



Title: Re: Funny expressions
Post by: reptilehead on May 14, 2006, 11:38:03 pm
A great one for anything that looks totally out of place (think 300 pound guy on a moped) "it's like a monkey fu :censored:ng a football"
 First time I heard that one I laughed so hard I ended up (in this order) spitting out my beer, hitting my head on the brass bar rail, getting knocked the   :censored:  out, and waking up still laughing about it, but all my buddies were more concerned about the hospital visit to get the 27 stitches in my head!
Title: Re: Funny expressions
Post by: sez on May 18, 2006, 01:26:48 am
"Shut up you big fat stupid head."

I didn't know that Your Highness was around here. As always, showing class and pouring elegance. ;D

Surprise!  ;)
Title: Re: Funny expressions
Post by: Bones on May 18, 2006, 04:02:24 am
Ugly
-Uglier than a hat full of arseholes.

Hunger
-So hungry I could eat the crotch out of a low flying duck.
-So hungry I could eat a horse and chase the jockey.

Sickness
-As crook as Rookwood.
Title: Re: Funny expressions
Post by: JeepMonkey on May 18, 2006, 09:22:57 am
"If I wanted any lip out of you I would pull it out of my zipper."
Title: Re: Funny expressions
Post by: sez on May 18, 2006, 08:51:04 pm
Ugly
-Uglier than a hat full of arseholes.

Hunger
-So hungry I could eat the crotch out of a low flying duck.
-So hungry I could eat a horse and chase the jockey.

Sickness
-As crook as Rookwood.


And another ugly one:

"He/she is so ugly it looks like they were set on fire and put out with a bike chain!"
Title: Re: Funny expressions
Post by: crashwg on May 18, 2006, 09:12:24 pm
"Dragged through a forest of ugly trees"
A funny take on  "Were you hit with the ugly stick?"

Oh, and not an insult but...  When building something and there's a gap of sorts
"You could throw a cat through that"
Title: Re: Funny expressions
Post by: AtomSmasher on May 18, 2006, 09:17:55 pm
heres an ugly one my dad often uses - "looks like they were hit in the face with a sack of nickels."

how about a classic about a good looking girl - "must be jam because jelly don't shake like that"
Title: Re: Funny expressions
Post by: cdbrown on May 23, 2006, 08:27:46 am
You've got a face like a bashed crab
Fell out of the ugly tree- and hit every branch on the way down
Crooked as a dog's hind leg
Title: Re: Funny expressions
Post by: lordtodd75 on May 23, 2006, 09:09:59 am
to people with big heads:
"That aint no forehead, thats a fivehead"
"Why the long face"

oldie but a goodie:
"save the whales, harpoon a fat chick"

to someone that says something stupid:
"Sorry, I dont speak stupid"
Title: Re: Funny expressions
Post by: Harry Potter on May 23, 2006, 03:28:16 pm
Thirsty:

Dry as a dead Dingo's donger
Title: Re: Funny expressions
Post by: saint on May 23, 2006, 03:49:09 pm
My favorite:

I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.
Title: Re: Funny expressions
Post by: grantspain on May 23, 2006, 04:44:49 pm
british ones,
gay as a bay window
so hungry i could eat a scabby donkey
face like a back end of a bus
face like a bag of spanners
a stinking pile of manchester united