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Main => Everything Else => Topic started by: Bones on December 17, 2005, 06:09:04 pm

Title: In my briefcase
Post by: Bones on December 17, 2005, 06:09:04 pm
After 8 months or so cabinet construction I cleaned up my garage yesterday. During the cleanup I found a very old dusty briefcase from my days as a sales representative. I had forgot the lock combination but managed to crack it. The combination turned out to be the first 6 digits of my previous employers phone number.

In the brief case were some old business cards, an American "meat market" newspaper, a user book for a dot matrix printer, a telephone cable, a faded sales docket for a sex toy, a Roxette tape and an American one dollar bill with a picture of Darth Vader.

Based on this bizare combination of items I must have had a pretty interesting last day on the job.
Title: Re: In my briefcase
Post by: erictrumpet on December 17, 2005, 06:49:31 pm
That post scares me.
Title: Re: In my briefcase
Post by: pointdablame on December 17, 2005, 07:05:52 pm
I think all dollar bills should have Darth Vader on them.
Title: Re: In my briefcase
Post by: TOK on December 17, 2005, 10:30:57 pm
Having a Roxette tape is a terminable offense. Get rid of it before your current employer finds out.
Title: Re: In my briefcase
Post by: Zakk on December 17, 2005, 11:13:36 pm
Buddy of mine's wife had her car broken into a couple of years ago.  They took her stereo, some clothes and her tape collection.  The following morning, she came out to find that the thieves had brought back something and left it on the hood: her bay city rollers tape.  I laughed over that for an hour.

Same guy a week later came in complaining that someone had stolen his people.  I made him up a sign he could carry that said "FREE MY PEOPLE".  Turns out he said "they stole my peep-hole.  From my door.  The little glass thing".

I'm easily amused sometimes.
Title: Re: In my briefcase
Post by: missioncontrol on December 17, 2005, 11:37:02 pm
Would you harass darth vader in the nude ?
Title: Re: In my briefcase
Post by: Zakk on December 18, 2005, 12:10:34 am
Sure, why not.
Title: Re: In my briefcase
Post by: c64rulez on December 18, 2005, 12:52:37 am
Would you harass darth vader in the nude ?

I've been labotomized, but I know my quotes when I see them. At least give me the credit for it.
You still did not answer it, with you harassing everybody and he nude (helmet on), would you har-ass him ???
Title: Re: In my briefcase
Post by: Zakk on December 18, 2005, 01:46:31 am
You still did not answer it, with you harassing everybody and he nude (helmet on), would you har-ass him ???

I'm not near drunk enough to make sense of that.   ???
Title: Re: In my briefcase
Post by: c64rulez on December 18, 2005, 01:52:18 am
That's a thing between me and mission from a parallel universe
Title: Re: In my briefcase
Post by: Zakk on December 18, 2005, 01:54:16 am
The "garbledandgibberish" universe?
Title: Re: In my briefcase
Post by: missioncontrol on December 18, 2005, 01:56:30 am
I think you have to speak-----

Isrealanese
Isrealich
Isrealian
Isrealano

or whatever it is to effectively comprehind that
Title: Re: In my briefcase
Post by: c64rulez on December 18, 2005, 01:57:33 am
The "garbledandgibberish" universe?

I think so, but I also recommend you check that long key on your keyboard. probably broken
Title: Re: In my briefcase
Post by: c64rulez on December 18, 2005, 01:59:44 am
I think you have to speak-----

Isrealanese
Isrealich
Isrealian
Isrealano

or whatever it is to effectively comprehind that

You already got an answer for this one. Recycling stuff now ?
Title: Re: In my briefcase
Post by: missioncontrol on December 18, 2005, 02:03:42 am
I've got my auto reply on
Title: Re: In my briefcase
Post by: c64rulez on December 18, 2005, 02:09:47 am
Smoketender, I'll have what he's having
Title: Re: In my briefcase
Post by: Bones on December 18, 2005, 02:33:06 am
Having a Roxette tape is a terminable offense. Get rid of it before your current employer finds out.
Hey Roxette is cool!

She goes na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na
na na na na She's got the look.
Title: Re: In my briefcase
Post by: TOK on December 18, 2005, 09:13:12 pm
Having a Roxette tape is a terminable offense. Get rid of it before your current employer finds out.
Hey Roxette is cool!

She goes na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na
na na na na She's got the look.


I didn't remember that song exactly, I just remembered that it was terrible.
Now it's back. Thanks.
Title: Re: In my briefcase
Post by: DrewKaree on December 18, 2005, 10:29:18 pm

I didn't remember that song exactly, I just remembered that it was terrible.
Now it's back. Thanks.


She goes na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na
na na na na She's got the look.

She goes na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na
na na na na She's got the look.

She goes na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na
na na na na She's got the look.

 ;D
Title: Re: In my briefcase
Post by: Jabba on December 18, 2005, 10:50:53 pm

...What in the world can make a brown-eyed girl turn blue.
...When everything I'll ever do I'll do for you
...and I go: la la la la la


BTW: We don't want yer broken boomerangs here in Canada! We've got enough junk as it is (read: Canadian Army!  ;)
Title: Re: In my briefcase
Post by: Stingray on December 19, 2005, 08:35:56 am
Was the combination 1234?

-S
Title: Re: In my briefcase
Post by: missioncontrol on December 19, 2005, 08:52:54 am
Roxanne, you don't have to put on the red light
Those days are over
You don't have to sell your body to the night
Roxanne, you don't have to wear that dress tonight
Walk the streets for money
You don't care if it's wrong or if it's right

Roxanne, you don't have to put on the red light
Roxanne, you don't have to put on the red light
Put on the red light, put on the red light
Put on the red light, put on the red light
Put on the red light, oh

I loved you since I knew ya
I wouldn't talk down to ya
I have to tell you just how I feel
I won't share you with another boy
I know my mind is made up
So put away your make up
Told you once I won't tell you again it's a bad way

Roxanne, you don't have to put on the red light
Roxanne, you don't have to put on the red light
You don't have to put on the red light
Put on the red light, put on the red light
Title: Re: In my briefcase
Post by: missioncontrol on December 19, 2005, 08:54:13 am
oh you said roxette.....

nevermind
Title: Re: In my briefcase
Post by: Bones on December 19, 2005, 02:10:19 pm
Was the combination 1234?

-S
It was 755335.
Title: Re: In my briefcase
Post by: nostrebor on December 19, 2005, 02:59:19 pm
Having a Roxette tape is a terminable offense. Get rid of it before your current employer finds out.
Hey Roxette is cool!

She goes na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na
na na na na She's got the look.


Roxette's songwriter was quite the wordsmith!
Title: Re: In my briefcase
Post by: Bones on December 19, 2005, 03:36:33 pm
Would have been cooler if  this (http://www.snopes.com/movies/films/pulp.htm) was in there. Would definitely beat a Roxette tape.
Title: Re: In my briefcase
Post by: DrewKaree on December 19, 2005, 04:07:59 pm
Was the combination 1234?

-S
It was 755335.

I kept calling that number.  The person who answered kept telling me "Dave's not here man" and then told me to try 867-5309.  I think they gave me one too many numbers
Title: Re: In my briefcase
Post by: Bones on December 19, 2005, 04:29:53 pm
The actual number was 755 3355 but the lock only had 6 digits. Perhaps you should try again with this number and ask for Mike Hunt.
Title: Re: In my briefcase
Post by: More Cowbell on December 19, 2005, 04:42:24 pm
Ask for Amanda Huginkiss.
Title: Re: In my briefcase
Post by: DrewKaree on December 19, 2005, 04:57:20 pm
Ask for Amanda Huginkiss.

I've only spoken with her husband, Hugh G. Rection
Title: Re: In my briefcase
Post by: DrewKaree on December 19, 2005, 04:58:35 pm
I'm thinking I should disguise my voice or speak in French and tell them I'm Jaque Strapp, the teabag supporter
Title: Re: In my briefcase
Post by: missioncontrol on December 19, 2005, 11:36:50 pm
Mr. Dumass may work there
Title: Re: In my briefcase
Post by: pointdablame on December 20, 2005, 12:42:04 am
Mr. Dumass may work there

it's pronounced doo-mahs
Title: Re: In my briefcase
Post by: missioncontrol on December 20, 2005, 01:24:28 am
Mr. Dumass may work there

it's pronounced doo-mahs

that might explain why I didn't get the job