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Main => Everything Else => Topic started by: MrInitialMan on September 16, 2024, 05:38:53 am

Title: Story Testing: "The Badge Of The Ultimate Star Jam Fighter"
Post by: MrInitialMan on September 16, 2024, 05:38:53 am
May I post chapters of my story on this board, so that you all can tell me if it makes sense?
Title: Re: Story Testing: "The Badge Of The Ultimate Star Jam Fighter"
Post by: PL1 on September 16, 2024, 11:33:03 am
[Thread moved to Everything Else from Software sub-forum.]
May I post chapters of my story on this board, so that you all can tell me if it makes sense?
Sure, now that this thread is in the correct sub-forum.   :cheers:


Scott
Title: Re: Story Testing: "The Badge Of The Ultimate Star Jam Fighter"
Post by: MrInitialMan on October 01, 2024, 06:24:16 am
Thank you!  (Also, whoops :-[)

Badge Of The Ultimate Star Jam Fighter - Chapter 1 (https://mrinitialman.com/StandAlones/StarJam/BOTUSJF_ch01.pdf)
Title: Re: Story Testing: "The Badge Of The Ultimate Star Jam Fighter"
Post by: PL1 on October 01, 2024, 09:17:40 am
One phrase that seems jarringly odd is in the first paragraph.   :dunno
Quote
He played the did every time his parents

Minor formatting note:  The three times that "UNE" appears in the body text, it has a dotted underline. (spellcheck marking?)  The two times where it appears in "screencap" text boxes, it does not.

The rest of the excerpt appears to be solidly written from grammatical, technical, formatting, and dramatic perspectives.   :cheers:


Scott
Title: Re: Story Testing: "The Badge Of The Ultimate Star Jam Fighter"
Post by: MrInitialMan on October 01, 2024, 12:53:51 pm
One phrase that seems jarringly odd is in the first paragraph.   :dunno
Quote
He played the did every time his parents

That is a straight-up goof.  I'm usually writing this late at night

Minor formatting note:  The three times that "UNE" appears in the body text, it has a dotted underline. (spellcheck marking?)  The two times where it appears in "screencap" text boxes, it does not.

The rest of the excerpt appears to be solidly written from grammatical, technical, formatting, and dramatic perspectives.   :cheers:


Scott


Actually, that is a leftover by the way this story is being written; the dotted line is from an <abbr> element (yes, I code HTML by hand).  I'll fix it in the CSS sheet (yes, I'm doing these as webpages turned into PDFs)


Okay, I think I got the issues fixed.  :)
Title: Re: Story Testing: "The Badge Of The Ultimate Star Jam Fighter"
Post by: MrInitialMan on November 17, 2024, 11:56:39 pm
Sorry for being so quiet; I have been working on my story.

https://mrinitialman.com/StandAlones/StarJam/BOTUSJF_ch02.pdf
https://mrinitialman.com/StandAlones/StarJam/BOTUSJF_ch03.pdf
https://mrinitialman.com/StandAlones/StarJam/BOTUSJF_ch04.pdf
https://mrinitialman.com/StandAlones/StarJam/BOTUSJF_ch05.pdf


And currently working on Chapter 6

Also, a couple of notes.  Mr. Ottey's speech patterns are based off an actual co-worker of mine who is indeed Jamaican.

Also, if grammar seems weird, or things don't make sense, please recall I'm typing this in an HTML editor and I may miss things.

And I knew many an "Anna" when I was in high school.
Title: Re: Story Testing: "The Badge Of The Ultimate Star Jam Fighter"
Post by: MrInitialMan on December 24, 2024, 04:02:46 am
FINALLY COMPLETE!




https://www.mrinitialman.com/StandAlones/StarJam/starjamfighter.xhtml

I would like your opinions on it, please  :-)