Main > Everything Else
When it rains, it pours....and dammit, I need a good umbrella and some sunshine
RTSDaddy2:
- Dad died on June 19th, 2009
- The school I was at went to a DVD driven classroom, downsized from 15 to 5, and I lost my job the same week we buried him, June 26, 2009 (I was also one of the last ones hired prior to downsizing, so I'm sure that didn't help).
- Two weeks later we learn that my wife's father, who had prostate surgery to remove a cancerous growth 11 years ago is now going to have to have 12 rounds of chemo. The damn stuff has mestatized (sp?) / spread to who knows where. I am trying to be the optimist, but of course it's got my wife scared - all the research she's read on situations like his give him six to fifteen months at best.
- I have not been able to find work ANYWHERE ...waiting to hear from a school about possibly being their new choral teacher, but no word yet.
- Bankruptcy looms like a wolf at our door if things do not pick up.
Blast it y'all, I sound like a crybaby / martyr / something, and I don't mean to. Those of you here who know me well though know we've been through hell as a family the last several years....can't lie, I'm fighting back tears as I write this.
Last night, wife and I laid down in bed and began to talk about this again, what all we should do and need to do. During the course of the conversation, it came up that she will probably take our daughter and go home to Kansas to be with her father for a while....it has nothing to do with us, or the relationship, etc. I believe her for two reasons: 1) she's her daddy's girl, and 2) I would have wanted to be home with my dad when he was near death's door as well.
It just seems like a horrible time to me for them to have to leave....I'll miss them horribly while they're gone. Can't imagine this house without them during a time when I'm trying to find a job and provide for them again - but again, I won't stop her from going, because it is her family, and there is always that chance that her dad really doesn't have long to live. It breaks my heart to think of them leaving; but I could never ask her to stay if she needs to go take care of him - if something happened to him and she wasn't there I could never forgive myself.
Pardon my ranting and raving. Just needed to get all this off my chest.
I know there are people in worse shape than us....but I'd really like to see the sun shine on our family again soon....really I would.
ChadTower:
Wow. Let us know if there's anything we can do. The best part of this forum is how we take care of our own.
Dartful Dodger:
Yeah, things are tough all over, but that doesn't lessen your burdens. Rant as much as you need to.
Where do you live?
While you're waiting to see if the teacher position opens up, what else can or do you want to do?
Like Chad said there are plenty of eyes and ears on this forum that can help.
Even if everything was perfect with your situation staying with him would be the best thing she could do, for her and him.
Her being happy = you being happy.
Try and use this time away from the family to organize your portfolio and socialize with friends and professionals who can help you find another job. If you have time you can also try bringing the mountain to Mohamed, by taking a look in Kansas for work.
Good luck.
Malenko:
got paypal? I have a little extra cheddar I could send your way.
Fordman:
RTS,
Sorry to hear about your family's painful and trying times.
On the emploment front, as a former school teacher myself, you need to broaden your horizons a little. What you want to teach vs. what you will have to teach. I didnt like what I was teaching. It wasnt the way I wanted to teach it. I did teach the courses their way, then some dumb luck and an opportunity came my way, so I was able to resign as a teacher. If you have to, substitute teach for a while. Teach adult education if need be. I still have my certification if I ever need to teach again.
On a personal front, have yourself & wife examined now for any possible medical issues. You may feel fine now, but later in life, you may not fare so well and you could leave your child in this position your in now.
Financialy, your family needs necessities in this order:
1) Home
2) Food
3) Auto
4) Clothing
If you have creditors calling on you about credit cards, let them go. If you pay the credit card companies, but skip house payments, you cant live in the credit card. Pay the house payment first! If the payment is beyond your means, contact your lender and ask for 6 months worth of payments to be deferred to the back end of the loan. This may cost you a paperwork fee but the bank doesnt want your home, they want the interest, they feel they can get it at the back end of the loan vs forclosure now. Just about all mortgage lenders are letting home owners add 6 months worth of payments to the end of the loan now.
If you have car payment(s) that cant be met, put one of the cars up for sale. Only sell for what you owe on it! Buy a beater that has no payment!
Shop for your food a a deep discounter (Sav-A-Lot) food stores. COUPONS COUPONS COUPONS! Store brand vs national brand. chances are the store brand is made by a national brand, just with the store label on it!
Clothing, only if you NEED it! Chances are, you will be fine here. Stay out of the specialty stores in the malls and shop the Goodwill and second hand shops. You'll pay pennies on the dollar for decent clothing.
While you wife is gone, work an extra job. Deliver pizzas, bag groceries, cut lawns. This is the perfect time to do so. This also helps with the financial and psychological aspects of your situation. Save some of the extra cash from the 2nd job and surprise the wife with a weekend visit to her at her parents place. She will be thrilled and so will her parents!
Make a plan of action, stick to it, become the 'Superman' to your wife and child! If you accomplish you action plan, your wife and child will be by your side every step without hesitation!
I hope this helps! :cheers:
Fordman
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
Go to full version